Planet in Crisis
Moral Sinkholes Harbor Degraded Political Ecosystems
Concern grows as pollution spreads to previously unaffected areas
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You may have seen articles about this enormous sinkhole in China.
Here at home, experts struggle to understand a network of moral sinkholes across the United States. Known as Mentally Aberrant Geographic Areas, they are home to bizarre and toxic environments.
Unfortunately, after decades of decline these MAGAs are becoming catastrophically unhealthy for functioning political life. Contributing factors may include high concentrations of megachurches and other monoculture habitats, deficiency of moral fiber, and dangerous levels of certain television and radio signals. Some otherwise-rare diseases are rampant, including fact-resistant viral misinformation and the so-called “severe acute religion syndrome christovirus-evangelical,” SARS-CEV-3:16.
MAGAs are also characterized by “empathy desertification,” in which the political groundwater becomes infiltrated with sociopathy to the extent it cannot sustain mental- or moral-normative organisms. Scientists are particularly alarmed at the rate conditions are growing more hostile for individuals with high melanin content.
These areas once supported large herds of Homo sapiens reaganum, however long-term environmental degradation has caused a population collapse. This was primarily due to an inability to compete with new variants, particularly an explosion of H. s. coprophagus. Individuals of this subspecies are well-adapted to thrive in morally or informationally poor habitats due to a voracious appetite for types of bullshit other organisms cannot digest.
In addition, especially dangerous Homo sapiens varieties such as ammosexualis and proudboii occur in much greater numbers than in healthy ecosystems elsewhere. The transitional hominid H. floridana, or “Florida Man,” continues to flourish but has become increasingly hostile and less amusing.
While this news is disturbing enough, more troubling is that conditions inside MAGAs are spreading to previously unaffected parts of the country. Washington D.C. has become so infested with coprophagus the environment may no longer be capable of supporting a healthy democratic climate. This would have catastrophic ripple effects throughout the country.
Scientists have made some progress toward finding a cause. A significant factor appears to be a mental disorder spread from Fox to humans via the brain parasite Toximedia murdochi. It is poorly understood why populations within MAGAs exposed to this otherwise-rare condition seem to produce no natural immune response. Research is ongoing. Unfortunately, it may be of limited value within MAGAs due to intense immune response to science in affected individuals.
John Werth is a Medium Top Writer in Humor and Politics. He’s also a 12x Top Writer on another platform, but in Canada so you wouldn’t know her. He finds writing more tiring than exercise, so he compensates by not exercising.
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Also by John Werth in MuddyUm
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