Money, Tony!
A song, because songs are poems too, and poems have feelings
Written in response to Smillew Rahcuef’s poetry challenge. Special thanks must also go to Robert Gowty for alerting me to this important writer’s movement, and to the great Billy Idol for the original tune and lyrics to Mony Mony👇, on which my song is based. Click play, scroll down, and sing along with the brand-new words to Money, Tony!
[Verse 1] Here she come now sayin’ ‘Money, Tony’ Winner chicken dinner an’ let’s get stoney Hey, she give me love say she been feeling lonely Yeah! We gonna surf and turf and feel all right And I feel all right
[Refrain] I said, yeah (Urp), yeah (Burpp) Yeah (Fart), yeah (Barf), yeah (Yeah)
[Chorus] ’Cause she make me feel (love for Tony) So good (what baloney) So good (pay your cronies) So good (strictly phony) So fine (no more stoney) So fine (get a loany) It’s all mine (get to groaning) Well, I feel the slight (What moron-y)
[Refrain] I said, yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah)
[Verse 2] Wakey bakey, Money Tony Water & gas or food — come on, throw me boney Get your fungal Toe & knee out my groiny groany Hey, don’t stop now, you’re so money, Toe Knee, stick it to me Tony
[Refrain] I feel rich (Yeah), I won’t bitch (Yeah) Not a leech (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah
[Chorus] Tell, me, what’s the big deal (Money Tony) I won’t steal (Money Tony) Your meal (Money Tony) But my gut’s just brine (Money, Tony) Pee’s carmine (Money Tony) You’re so fine (Money, Tony) Hold the line (Money, Tony) And I ain’t feel right
[Refrain] I said, yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah)
[Interlude] I love you Tony, To-To, Tony Throw me that boney, we so lonely (why don’t you) She’ll ride that pony, po-po pony (told me true) Done eatin’ stone-cold cartiloney (tellin’ you) Don’t be a phony, Money Tony (I loathe you) I’m sorry Tony, moany groany (we love you) She’ll dance the cowgirl Money Tony (just for you) Oh God please answer, Tony Tony (we pray you)
[Refrain] Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah)
[Bridge] Come on, come on, come on, come on Come on, come on, come on, come on Come on, come on, come on, feel all right
[Refrain] I said, yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah)
[Verse 3]
Don’t sic the algo on me, Money Tony I’m payin’ alimony, Money Tony Hey, I know the trust fund brats must eat too, Tony I said, cough up now, come on, Tony Come on, Tony
[Refrain] I said, yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah)
[Chorus] ’Cause you make me bleed (Money Tony) They succeed (your fans only) There’s no need (please up-pony) We need feed (oh, if only) It ain’t right (what baloney) Day ain’t night (I ain’t cloning) Just a bite (your banoney) Well, go fly a kite (with Marconi)
[Refrain] I said, yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah, yeah)
[Verse 4] I want my member’s only switcheroni always-on-y Come on, come on (Come on) Money Tony (Money Tony) And, uh, feel all right (Mony, Mony) (Mony, Mony)
[Refrain] I said, yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah, yeah)
[Chorus] ’Cause we, Tony, need (Money Tony) To eat! (Money Tony) Stop gum bleed! (Money Tony) Pretty pleathe! Come on (Money Tony) Yeah (Money Tony) All right (Money Tony) Well, we feel so good (Money Tony)
[Refrain] I said, yeah (Yeah), yeah (Yeah) Yeah…
Dedicated to Tony Stubblebine in gratitude for his visionary plans to convert Medium to a mutual ownership model, possibly imagined. We’re not wordy 🙇♀️.
