Misty Arterburn writes in
I try to highlight responses of critics. Today, Misty Arterburn left a comment to my post “The Porn Hustler,” in which I profiled the Evangelical star Stephen Arterburn. He’s the one who falsely presents himself as a psychotherapist and says that porn is evil in the mega-selling classic Every Man’s Battle.
Stephen Arterburn is Misty’s husband. She’s his third wife.
Let’s take a look at what Misty has to say. A note: she poses as a Christian teacher and is a public person.
Take it away, Misty!
Just accidentally stumbled upon this piece today. I don’t actually know who you are, but I wanted to chime in. I’m Misty, Steve’s wife — we just celebrated our 17th anniversary a few weeks ago. We’ve seen articles like this written, and though we know this will happen occasionally, it is nonetheless painful. I trust you are writing in good faith, to call out what you believe to be corrupt or duplicitous. I can understand that, especially if you’ve been hurt by corrupt and duplicitous people in your life. Most of us have. Or we’ve been those people, ourselves. I would contend that each of us is on a learning curve throughout life and hopefully growing more wise, less cynical, less judging. More able to see that each of us has regrets, hindsight of 20/20 in many cases, and often dreadful grief about things we’ve said or done. I can imagine you do, as I do. Much of the writing in this article contains partial truths with much twisting and assigning of negative intent. Steve is referred to as Dr. sometimes and has been awarded two honorary doctorates in his life, but he never refers to himself as Dr. Arterburn. He has always wanted to pursue a doctoral program and so enrolled in one he thought he could try — in hopes of accomplishing this before his 60th birthday — but was unable to keep up — as we are raising our children and involved in so much already. He adds M.Ed. to his name in order to be transparent. Steve struggled in school with ADHD, struggled to learn another language among other challenges- He earned his Masters in Education not because it was “easy” but *easier for him* because he was actually good at it, creative, and capable in that arena. He is still teaching today, often large groups of people in churches or at conferences or other events, writing books, speaking on radio, etc. He is not a supporter of “reparative therapy,” but is always in support of therapy for anyone in need. We ourselves have gone weekly for years and plan to forever, because life presents challenges and we want to keep growing and addressing our own blind spots. If you turn on radio and listen to Steve’s program today, you will surely hear something you don’t like — I often do because I am a different person from him. But it doesn’t make him bad or reveal ill-motives, It makes him someone who has thoughts different from yours — who is offering those thoughts today from his own path — understanding that his thoughts may change over time — who may be wise or unwise today, who might be right or may be wrong and who has room to learn, who may be ahead in his thinking or who may be misinformed on a topic — are you ever? This article you’ve written here would suggest so — and I do not say that in a malicious way toward you. I invite you to step back from offense, and instead consider wishing someone well who has suffered in life like you or anyone else has — who misses and admires his brother Jerry more than anyone could ever know — who regrets aborting his baby today as sorrowfully as ever — who has been gutted by betrayals and abandonments in marriage — who is trying to be the best dad he can be today and it is hard raising teens — who is in a very public forum and open to much criticism — who gets it wrong many times but is genuinely trying to learn and offer something helpful to others who struggle as he has. I may have been better off to let this article go without reply — maybe tomorrow I will regret that I wrote. But truly, I’m trying to reach out, human to human, and offer a different perspective. I do wish you well.
Okey dokey.
She reads me as a “hurt” person who is lashing out, or something. This is an Evangelical tactic. I read about Arterburn in Sheila Gregoire’s exposé The Great Sex Rescue (2021), and I spotted him as a fake.
While waging his lucrative anti-porn crusade, the fake “counselor” Stephen Arterburn is often identified as a ‘Dr.’.
He is widely identified as an advocate for “reparative therapy.” That includes in scholarly literature about reparative therapy.
In the context of his fake “Christian psychologist” act he pitches a modified version of reparative therapy and spins it as therefore not “reparative therapy.” He doesn’t advocate for outright exclusion of LGBT people, but rather, waging theological warfare over time.
Maybe he did “mourn” his brother Jerry. But I don’t consider torturing an AIDS sufferer with thoughts of Hell, then spending the next decades spraying Jerry’s memory over the cottage industry of “reparative therapy” as displaying any brotherly love. 🔶
