Mirror Mirror on the Wall

A glimpse at “imposter phenomenon” (and what you can do to overcome it)

What do you see in this picture?

Is it a lion?

Is it a cat?

Or is it a lion who sees himself like a cat in the mirror?

I feel like that lion sometimes. Yes, I’m a second-year PhD student, I am financially independent, I have an amazing partner, I just passed one of the biggest hurdles in the PhD journey — the dreaded “qualifying examination”. On the surface, it feels like I have everything figured out. But like that lion who sees himself like a cat — there are times when I don’t feel so confident about myself. I feel like an imposter.

How often do you relate to these sentences — be it in your school, workplace or even in your family?

“Everyone here is smarter than me”

“I don’t belong here”

“I don’t think I deserve that achievement or title”

This state of not feeling like you’re enough is called imposter syndrome/ phenomenon/experience but the words “Imposter syndrome” seems to be quite common. Interestingly 70% of people feel this way at one time or another according to a journal article -even very accomplished people like Maya Angelou.

You might be thinking - so what? Is it a big deal?

It is a big deal for me. These imposter feelings have held me back from doing things that I wanted to do so much. It has held me back from being the best researcher I can be. There are times when I just want to quit. I didn’t feel like doing a prepared speech at Toastmasters for so many months — just ask our VP-E how many times I wanted to give a speech and backed out!

Think about the times in your life when you feel these imposter feelings. Perhaps you want to take part in a competition but you feel like you don’t have a good story to say. Perhaps you want to get a new job but you don’t feel like you have enough qualifications.

I want to share three tips that help me in dealing with these emotions. I’m not saying that the feelings of self-doubt will go away completely, but it will help.

1. Realize

Understand that it is not just you and many people face it at one time or another. The image shown below illustrates this well.

2. Remember

Celebrate your achievements. Keep track of good compliments you received.

One way I like to do is by keeping screenshots of comments or compliments that made me feel appreciated. These are just some of those screenshots.

3. Relate

Relate your stories. Talk about it with others. Could be your trusted family members, friends or even a counsellor. In NTU we have a dedicated “University Wellbeing Center” and I’m sure that your school, workplace or community also have these services for you to make use of.

They can help you remind yourself that you’re enough.

Pizza helps. But even without pizza, if they can simply say or show “I’m here for you” — that can be really helpful.

All of us are lions (Random coincidence: in my home country, Sri Lanka, we have a lion on the flag and Singapore, which is my current temporary home, literally means “the city of lions”).

We are capable. We are unstoppable.

Can you repeat with me the three tips which I shared with you?

Realize, remember, relate.

So the next time we feel like a cat — let’s try to be like this cat who sees himself as a lion in the mirror.

Bonus resource 1: I came across a study about the imposter phenomenon conducted by Dr. Marc Reid and decided to participate. You can also participate in the study to know your “imposter phenomenon score” + contribute to the knowledge base on the phenomenon.

Bonus resource 2: For fellow PhD students