TECHNOLOGY, POLITICS, BUSINESS
Meta Caught Promoting A Meaningless War In Hopes Of Creating Their Virtual Universe
The Matrix is better than reality
War, huh, yeah! What is it good for? Capitalism and American propaganda.
On November 6, 2021, the NFL shared pictures of Pat Tillman on their Facebook account. NFL captioned the post “He would have turned 45 today. Thinking of this military hero today.”
We were amused that the NFL has refused to honor Tillman’s family’s request to never use his images ever again to support American pride. Tillman hated the government using him for Iraq War propaganda, as the Bush administration felt a former NFL star would help recruit more soldiers for a meaningless war. The army even lied to everyone that Tillman died through saving his troops instead of friendly fire just to gain more war support. Clearly, no one gives a shit about Tillman’s preference for family privacy 17 years later.
We wish this was the only outrageous thing we saw on Facebook, but that would be as accurate as Donald Rumsfeld declaring that weapons of mass destruction exist. A bunch of conservatives swarmed Facebook with their own thoughts on the NFL’s Tillman’s posts.
“A moment of silence for this hero. If he were alive, he’d tell you all to join the war against China!”
“You’re not a real American if you don’t quit your job to attack those yellow commies! Tillman would not stand for this!”
“Thank you for honoring a true hero, NFL! I stopped watching your content after Colin Kaepernick’s protest against racism. Politics never has a place in sports, but military pride is an exception. I will resume to watch your content!”
“I urge all NFL players to take a knee on November 7th to honor Tillman! Tim Tebow took a knee to honor Jesus, so these players should do the same! This knee stance is fine, as it’s not shedding light on black injustice.”
We were surprised that Tillman is once again being used as propaganda for a meaningless war, especially one that he didn’t fight in. Tillman’s family would have loathed their son being used as a racist symbol to justify the Republican Party declaring war on China to find “weapons of math destruction”.
Furthermore, we couldn’t find a single truthful post on Facebook that stated that USA needs an excuse to control China’s plethora of silicon and germanium just to address the semiconductor chip shortage. Did Facebook purposely remove actual news from their newsfeed?
We reached out to Meta Platforms whistleblower Frances Haugen, who confirmed that the company was purposely spreading misinformation and hate speech on their platform solely to increase clicks and revenue.
“Controversy sells. Hate is profitable. People want reasons to get angry nowadays. It’s why Meta Platforms agreed with Republican senators to use Facebook and Instagram to spread misinformation about China.”
We wondered why Meta Platforms wanted to avoid reporting the truth.
“Republicans understood the economic benefit of this war. Defense contractors make money through research and weapons, tech corporations make money through America conquering China’s semiconductor materials to address their shortage, and military product companies makes money due to building more equipment. This will go smoothly if Facebook didn’t link posts detailing the real reasons behind this war. Republicans requested that Facebook prioritize asian hate propaganda that supported the following conspiracy theories
- China hiding weapons of math destruction to beat America in education
- China orchestrated biological weapons to release a deadly pandemic in 2020.
“Meta Platforms CEO Mark Zuckerberg immediately signed off on these algorithm changes on one condition. If Republicans succeed in taking over China, Meta Platforms will earn 50% of the materials needed to make semiconductors. Zuckerberg has always been fascinated in creating the metaverse, a 3-D virtual reality world where people can interact through headsets, augmented reality glasses, smartphones, etc. His goal is to bring The Matrix to life. He wants people to live in a fantasy world and not worry about the horrors of the world surrounding them. In order to make this unnecessary product come to life, Meta Platforms needs an exorbitant number of semiconductors to power this useless system.
“The War in China is a massive financial opportunity for Meta Platforms. At the end of the day, Zuckerberg is willing to sacrifice innocent Chinese and American lives for his virtual universe. Furthermore, Zuckerberg is willing to sacrifice people’s mental and physical health by creating a stimulating, digital world that no one wants to leave.”
We were shocked at Haugen’s report that Zuckerberg is manipulating data to influence foreign relations. We reached out to Zuckerberg for a comment. The soong-type android calmly stated that everything is false, hung up, and left to navigate the USS Enterprise-D.
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.
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