Mental Illness is NOT a Trend

And if you ever look at someone and ponder over whether they are faking having it, you definitely want to give this one a read.

It was not very long ago that I was sitting in a session in a leadership conference that brought me to this question.

How to know if someone “actually” has a Mental Illness.

And I’ll say this much before I start, I’m not a therapist, never studied psychology (except the activism pages on my Instagram that give me the mental health awareness tidbits I might know). Chances are, you’re not a therapist either. And if you’ve looked at someone and thought of that question, I should let you know, I think it’s quite problematic.

I felt we were not having the discussion we should have been having.

But here’s the whole story for full context.

It was a group session and my group of four and I were sitting at a round table, looking at the big screen for our next question that would shape our group discussion. The question that showed up stopped me for a second. Then came confusion, which was somewhat followed by anger.

“Why do you think Mental Illness has suddenly become a trend?” the big screen said.

One might think this was an ambiguous question, open to interpretations. To me, it seemed pretty clear what they meant. It reminded me of dinner-table conversations with my parents, who would very often say phrases like “Only your generation is anxious and depressed, we were fine.” or “When I was your age, I was earning and helping my parents, not lying around like you, complaining about being anxious.” or the thousand other phrases they have which all ponder over the same question; Why has mental illness suddenly become such a trend that (almost) everyone has one?

From my brown parents, having lived in a time when mental illness was highly stigmatised, it is still understandable how they aren’t still as accepting of the concept of Mental Health. From a bunch of twenty-somethings leaders organising a conference about making more leaders aiming at social justice? Not expected.

You see, calling Mental Illness and Mental Health a “trend” in the name of starting a discussion around it, seemed to me, nothing but another phrase that further stigmatised and invalidated the experiences of many sitting in that room.

A girl started the discussion, emphasizing the fact how a lot of people garner attention by faking mental illness, how this access to knowledge through the internet does nothing but let people constantly misdiagnose themselves and spread false information further.

“Literally everyone I know will say they have some or the other mental illness, that they are depressed.”

While it’s important to know you shouldn’t self-diagnose, the fact that many people don’t or can’t see a mental health expert doesn’t rule out the fact that many might be struggling through some condition. And while we are still speaking of self-diagnosing, I think it would be quite hypocritical if we decide to make that decision for them; the decision of whether someone has a mental illness or not.

As a person who has many a times dealt with an anxiety episode, I have been met with many phrases that ultimately lead me to question my own condition. I don’t openly share that I might have an anxiety disorder because “you know that feeling anxious is just normal human emotion, right? It’s not a mental illness that you have.”

And when met with the question of whether I was faking a mental illness because it was trendy and everyone was doing it, suddnely felt very dismissive of larger and complex humanly experiences with mental health. It almost seemed like it was being reduced to a hashtag, or an internet challenge that you should do if you want to seem cool or if it is “on-brand” with your persona.

I felt that we were not having the discussion we should have been having. How could you by pondering over a question that tries to legitimise or gatekeep what passes as mental illness? I felt that helped no one.

I often hear people compalining about how ADHD seems to be everywhere that it seems like it has almost become the “new, hot thing” in genre of mental health. But I think we should think about the fact that maybe ADHD really is very common. So is anxiety. So is depression. And a person cannot just have one OR the other.

Infact, maybe it’s not even our business.

I am not defaming the people from my group, infact I used to run with similar opinions a few years ago and I’ll say this; maybe it’s only human to be curious in our concern, to label things ‘black’ or ‘white’, ‘real’ or ‘not real’ which ignores many complexities, only to be worsened by the fact that mental health awareness has seen many bumps in the road and had come a long way in getting rid of the taboo surrounding it.

So, even if you have ever questioned this for yourself or for someone else, don’t beat yourself up about being “toxic” or “problematic”. Instead, focus on getting the help you or your near one needs. After all, we are nowhere near being mental health experts, no matter how our situations have been.

It never helps to compare struggles; who suffered more than whom. If someone close to us does ask for help, I think what they should get from us is assurance and validation, not a question mark on how genuine or real their condition is.

Having a Mental Illness has not become a trend. Mental Health Awareness has become a trend and it very well should. It’s true that social media constantly bombards us with new information we might not need, but still intrigues us, I think mental health awareness should keep going and needs more healthy and positive platforms.

In the end, I didn’t stand up and let the room know how the conversation should be about validating experiences and not restricting them, although I wish I had.

All I did was scribble on the chart they had given us to take down notes:

Mental Illness is NOT a trend.

With a few stars around it.