Men Who Watch a lot of Porn Suck in Bed

This is not an attack on porn

For decades men have obsessed about the female body, the softness of her skin, the shape of her breast, the size of her ass, and the arch in her back. Behind closed doors, one would let their imagination go wild fantasizing on sexual expeditions with the female of their choice.

Until Pornographic films brought a level of reality to these fantasies bringing instant sexual gratification.

It became an easy way to escape from reality and a way to indulge our deepest fantasy and the limits were endless.

As porn evolved it catered to men more than it did to women. Revealing a rather bestial side of the male mind.

Today most porn is about watching women pretend to enjoy sexual acts that are unpleasant to them, even if it means degrading oneself. But I hate porn for deeper reasons.

I hate porn because it makes men suck in bed.

Porn is where most people learn about sex, so watching it didn’t just become a way to get a release but also a way to figure out what turns us on and how to be a stud between the sheets. The issue is that porn doesn’t answer any of these questions.

In every porno there’s a little kissing, maybe a nipple tease some oral sex then he slams his penis into her fast and hard till he pulls out and shoots right in her mouth. From this men are taught that sex is solely for their pleasure. So they end up learning moves that leave their partners very unsatisfied.

It also gives men the belief that doing the bare minimum will turn a woman on, yet in essence, porn actresses are not genuinely turned on. Which means men learn false cues and struggle to read their partners.

To add to the mind-numbing process porn gives the illusion that men should go on for hours, in reality when sex continues for too long we get sore and sex just becomes painful.

The idea of changing positions like we trying out the whole Kama sutra yeah, that’s not fun either because continuously stopping and changing positions robs us of a potential orgasm.

The age restriction for porn is 18 years however, many watch porn much earlier especially now that it’s easily accessible through the internet.

Just think about it for a second, if these ideas are instilled much earlier than the average man has no idea what’s required to please a woman and they wouldn’t be able to identify if a woman’s moans indicate pain or pleasure.

I remember going second base with my crush back then, he fondled my breast then continued to bite my nipple when I screamed, he bit harder. He couldn’t tell I wasn’t enjoying because his favorite porn star loved her breasts slapped and nipples tugged at.

There was a time when my then-boyfriend treated me to a session of ‘mind-blowing’ oral sex. The idea of cunnilingus was sexy and I was eager but the actual process was excruciating. When I pushed him away he held onto my hips and kept sucking with vigor. He interpreted me screaming and pushing away to means I was on the verge of an orgasm. Which wasn’t the case because I was in pain.

There are many instances when cues are misinterpreted this explains why 80% of women fake orgasms during sex. Researchers also found that women make the most erotic noises when sex starts feeling uncomfortable or when they get bored. Men can’t tell because they got accustomed to listening to the insincere moans of porn stars.

As much as people don’t want to admit the porn you consume shapes your belief on sex and most times it translated in real life. People who watch a lot of porn tend to move to more extreme porn just to get stimulated. More sadistic porn like vanilla porn teaches men to derive pleasure from causing women pain.

Former pornographic performer, Alex Devine shares her violent experience:

Donkey Punch was the most brutal, depressing, scary scene that I have ever done. I have tried to block it out of my memory due to the severe abuse I received during the filming. The guy, Steve French, has a natural hatred towards women in the sense that he has always been known to be more brutal than EVER needed. I agreed to do the scene thinking it was less beating, except the ‘punch’ in the head. If you noticed, Steve had worn his solid gold ring the entire time and continued to punch me with it. I stopped the scene while it was being filmed because I was in too much pain.

At times I wonder if sex-based crimes aren’t just porn addicts trying to live out their fantasy. Though these are extreme cases. The overall idea is the same.

So what do we do about this? Honestly, I have no idea, because the porn industry won’t change overnight and it’s almost impossible fighting it. I guess for a start we could acknowledge that when it comes to sex far more lies than truths are being perpetuated. It could be remedied after all being good in bed, is fundamentally about being able to read someone else’s cues so men could re-learn from real women what women like. Ignore the media, ignore porn, and anyone trying to sell you something.

Before you leave

If you want to know more about healthy sex from a female’s perspective you may read The price we pay for male pleasure.

Perhaps you may like something sultry like He was a forbidden fruit, I had to have him or what a fling with an older man taught me about desire

perhaps you’re single and wondering why read Two psychological reasons why we’re still single

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