Summary

This web content is a satirical response to a controversial article about gender shopping habits, critiquing the stereotypes and trivialization of women's historical roles, while humorously highlighting men's habits like farting in bed.

Abstract

The article titled "Men Like to Fart in Bed and Women Hate It, Why?" serves as a pointed rebuttal to the claims made by Gaurav Jain and Michael Burg, MD in their piece "Women Like to Shop and Men Hate It, Why?" The author, KiKi Walter, along with other female Medium contributors, challenges the stereotypical notions of gender roles, particularly the portrayal of women as mere gatherers and shoppers. The piece humorously asserts that prehistoric women were not only gatherers but also hunters, providing for men who are depicted as self-absorbed and preoccupied with their bodily functions. It suggests that shopping is a form of respite for women from the unpleasant habits of men, such as passing gas. The article also touches on the evolution of human behavior, implying that men have not evolved much beyond their primitive state, while women have developed a natural instinct to nurture despite enduring centuries of male-associated foulness.

Opinions

The author ridicules the original article's portrayal of women's historical roles as simplistic and inaccurate.
Men's behavior, particularly their enjoyment of passing gas, is satirized as the pinnacle of their evolution.
The article suggests that shopping serves as an escape for women from men's uncouth behavior.
It criticizes the objectification and trivialization of women in the original article.
The piece humorously implies that men have not progressed much beyond their prehistoric counterparts in terms of sophistication and behavior.
The author points out the double standards in societal expectations of men and women.
The article emphasizes women's endurance and adaptability in the face of men's "foulness."
It is suggested that despite men's shortcomings, women still care for and accept them.
The author uses strong language and satire to convey a message of gender equality and to challenge traditional gender stereotypes.

An Equally Sexist Retort to Gaurav Jain and Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg)’s “Women Like to Shop and Men Hate It, Why?”

Men Like to Fart in Bed and Women Hate It, Why?

We won’t mention the stripes in their underwear.

[A collab between KiKi Walter and the rest of — well, some of — the women on Medium. Including, but not limited to: Preeti Ramachandran and Sally Prag. Well, at least endorsed by my aforementioned sisters.]

This is a response to THIS atrocity, written by my douche-rocket-in-chief and cheered on by his little MD buddy:

Women Like to Shop and Men Hate It, Why?

It’s in their blood

medium.com

Look at the male in the picture above. What do you see? If your prefrontal cortex gets aroused by one or many of the following questions, welcome to the tribe.

Why is his hands in his underwear? No. Just kidding. We all know this is a stupid dumbass fuckery of an iStock photo.

The answers behind the not-so-mysterious behavior of the male persuasion is laughable and doesn’t take a genius to really write a retort about. From the stone age, males had one responsibility and one responsibility only — diddling their dinkies.

Hey… Gaurav and Dr. Gilligan, did you know that in prehistoric times, women were known as the hunters and gatherers? That’s right. We’ve taken care of your sorry asses while you’ve sat around asking stupid questions like, “what kind of toilet paper do we buy again?” and “where do we keep the batteries?” and “where do we keep the milk?”

Oh right. You said this: “Females however, were primarily gatherers. Gathering was an exasperating, but unsatisfying, social event.”

The fuck, dude?

“They would walk over vast patches of land until they found the perfect vegetable, the perfect berry, and the perfect leaf of cilantro.”

That was our main mistake. Because the fucking berries and vegetables our prehistoric ancestresses picked for your dumbshit forefathers made them all bloat and fart and shit in their loincloths.

But you know what? They liked it.

And suddenly dutch ovens were born.

And sitting around sniffing their smells on the sofa was born.

And just…disgusting us to no end was born.

The species did not continue to evolve. They reached their peak of evolution. All they needed was their thingy and their farts.

Women…women still had the natural instinct to breed. To love.

Unfortunately, because of this, we have had to endure centuries of foulness. Of your lying on the sofa stinking up that middle cushion that Febreeze couldn’t even cure.

As for the phenomenon humanity now knows as shopping? That’s our fucking escape. That is our escape from your neanderthal diddling and flatuation.

Do you actually think we like going to stores and having to face crowds and ignorant fools who likely go home and roll around in their flatulence juice like you? Hell to the no. Secret: we just like to buy too. Why the hell do you think Amazon is still in business. I mean, do you really think we go shopping when you think we say we are going shopping? We are meeting up with friends and talking about how gross you are.

But, you know, you are ours beyond all that stupidity.

And guess, what? We already know. Males don’t care.

We can accept you in all of your grossness. Hairy backs. Hairy ears. Back pimples. Weird ears. Strange asses. Stupid brains. Absurd bathroom problems.

But. Understand. No matter what we say, or how we make you feel — you were, are, and will always be…the fucked up gender.

Join Medium with my referral link - KiKi Walter

As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…

kikiwalter.medium.com