Men Are Wonderful Entry 1: In Their Righteous Anger

I would like to make an announcement. It’s a good time since we are all making our New Year’s Resolutions and preparing to be better people.

For some reason, the social media conversation about contemporary men has gone a bit blue. I’m reading about men’s weaknesses, mistakes, and insecurities all the time. I don’t know… seems like it started out as a venting session among friends about this one specific guy and suddenly became the rallying cry of a nation of women against everyone with a penis.

So here it is… Men are wonderful. When you set aside their imperfections, as you would have to do to call any human being wonderful, most men warm us with their charm, faith, fidelity, power, and protection. So, in celebration of what is obvious to MOST WOMEN (don’t believe the hype), I will be writing several entries celebrating what is New-York-pizza-slice beautiful about men. (Is there anything as beautiful as a New York pizza slice? Yes. A good man.)

A Man’s Righteous Anger

We hear a lot about toxic masculinity and how some men are abusively aggressive, and some are. Some women are abusively aggressive, so — you know — we understand that and it’s a character flaw. However, no one gets upset when Aquaman tears his way into that hijacked submarine and starts popping heads. No one! Do you know what we do? We cheer! Do you know WHY? We cheer because, at that point, Aquaman has shown up for a reckoning and a reckoning should be had. (It’s not just because it’s Jason Momoa, though they make sure to give us lots of eye candy in that scene about which we could cheer, but back to the point.)

Righteous anger is one of life’s perfect states. And a man, when he is righteously angry, is an absolute force of nature. He might be a small, average dude when he leaves the house in the morning for his 9-to-5. But if he gets a call at 10:30… or 1:00… or 4:57 which suggests that his family is in avoidable danger, we find out that Clark Kent can fly ☝️.

Hot Guy to the Rescue… Against Intruders

I’m oversimplifying here, I know, but let’s just wallow in the wonder of testosterone-induced retribution for a minute. Let’s start with something simple like, “I heard something downstairs.” The sitcoms make fun of this now and have women leading the charge to check for an intruder, but let me remind you… television isn’t real. In the real world, if you’re lying next to your man and one of you “hears something downstairs” or outside the door or on the porch, there’s a switch in him that when flipped turns a wheel, that starts a ball bearing rolling, that goes into a hole where a fuse is. And the fuse lights and the flame goes fwah, and your man gets up out of bed in his boxers ready to kill someone.

He’s got a tool he has stashed (often) somewhere in the room that he has placed for such an occasion. And do you know what we do? We’re not ashamed that he’s ready to defend. We’re proud. Do you know why? Because if you’re breaking into his house where his peace and his family are, there’s going to be a reckoning. Period.

Disclaimer: If you’re offended by men being ready to kill someone to protect their homes and families, this series is not for you. Please do not read any more of the “Men Are Wonderful” articles.

You will also be in for an a**-whooping if you intrude upon his relationships with his parents, his wife, or his kids. These are untouchable people. You don’t just handle these people any-kind-of-way without repercussions.

Hot Guy to the Rescue… Home Discipline Edition

There’s a lot of canned laughter about useless, uninvolved dads that gets passed around in modern family conversations as well. There’s certainly lots of it in movies. But I’ll tell you, as a woman who had the benefit of this, there is nothing like the order a man can set when he upholds the discipline structure in the home for his children.

I know that when some women hear discipline in the home, this is a trigger for them because of the abuse they have suffered in terrifying relationships. I’m not talking about abuse at all. I’m talking about being in the kitchen at 5:30 pm after work trying to get dinner on the table, the kitchen cleaned as you cook, and homework sorted for the kids when the thirteen-year-old jumps up and starts mouthing off about some chore he doesn’t want to do.

You’ve already been through this with him a million times and you’re trying to keep focused because if you get out of pocket now, your attitude is going to be all over the place, and dinner will be late, and your husband will come home and you won’t greet him properly because you’re already tired. All of that. All of that is going on! And your teenager is in his negative space, just going off, when dad walks in the door because said teen did NOT hear dad pull up in the driveway. And what happens?

There’s a switch in him that when flipped turns a wheel, that starts a ball bearing rolling, that goes into a hole where a fuse is. And the fuse lights and the flame goes fwah, and your man looks at your son and says, “What did you say to your mother? Did you do what she asked you to do? What is your problem?” And faced with this level of testosterone, what does the teenager do? Well… his fuse goes out. When love holds the home together, respect is still par for the course, and that boy knows how much his parents love him, even an unruly teenager is matched by his father’s righteous anger.

Hot Guy to the Rescue… Community Edition

I don’t even want to stop here, but you know how the brain is. You’re only going to remember three things, so I’ll try to be very inclusive on this third one. A man’s community is his home. This can mean a lot of different things to different men.

Maybe his “block” has been “his block” his whole life, so he’s involved in youth programs, volunteers at shelters, preaches sermons at a local church, or coaches Little League.

Maybe he’s a first responder, a teacher, or another civil servant committed to a group of people’s safety or enrichment.

Maybe he’s a soldier committed to the safety of the nation.

The deal is… the community is another one of those untouchable things. There are rules about the community. Your personal feelings, your politics, your ideas, whatever you think… there is a line in the community that men expect you to respect. And when you cross that line, you know how it’s going to go.

There’s a switch in him that when flipped turns a wheel, that starts a ball bearing rolling, that goes into a hole where a fuse is. And the fuse lights and the flame goes fwah, and now there’s a guy at the city council meeting at the microphone screaming at you because, “Whatever the city’s priorities are, these kids should be first!”

The same rules apply to officers on the scene at these mass shootings, to soldiers being deployed in these world skirmishes that we pretend to know nothing about, and to situations in schools that you never hear of because brave teachers mentor children and sort out the chaos before it ever becomes a problem.

Men Are Wonderful When They Are Righteously Angry

And I would like to speak for all women now and say, “Thank you.” Maybe it’s true that I could get the weapon and go after the intruder, and I could go on shouting with the kids, and I can certainly show up at all the city council meetings and fight for the community. Yes, I can be a first responder now. I can be a soldier now. I can play those roles, sure.

But like Jill Scott says in “The Fact Is (I Need You),” we still need and want our righteously angry men with us. Your brand of “Get it straight right now or it’s about to go down” is not like ours, and we like it. We like watching you manifest it, and we like watching resolutions be formed and completed at your insistence when there is a righteous cause.

Your ability to settle things down and finish them, to bring a righteous reckoning when needed and justified, is wonderful. 😘

Keep reading the Men Are Wonderful series with Entry 2: The Romance Factor.