Men Are Wonderful Entry 2: The Romance Factor

I was going to hold off on this one because it’s one of my favorite “Men Are Wonderful” characteristics to discuss (honestly), but I just couldn’t wait.

Disclaimer: This is a heteronormative article about heteronormative romance, so if you think men are gross, this article is not for you. ✌️

“Excuse Me… Ms.? I Think You’re Beautiful.”

A man on a mission to get a woman’s attention is enthralling, and we do enjoy watching you try (when it’s done with respect). You’ve all got your own styles. I still like the old-school-styled, “Excuse me, Ms. You look beautiful in that color” or some variation of that… you know… “That really brings out the color in your eyes” or “That outfit really suits you” or “You’re looking beautiful today.”

I admit that it took me all of my twenties to understand how to respond appropriately to this kind of compliment even when the attention is not wanted (sadly), but for women readers who are curious, “Thank you for your kindness” goes a long way even when you’re not available (and you should say if you aren’t available with respect).

While loud voices suggest that single women are no longer interested in modest gestures of interest from single men, I can tell you that we are and we like it a lot. Again, it needs to be respectful — and of course, the woman that caught your eye might be taken — but we still love the romantic element of your approach.

“You in That Dress… Don’t Wear That Without Me”

When a stranger stares a little too much, it can be unsettling. Men, make your approach or don’t, right? But when the man, the man we chose, gets that hungry you-in-that-dress look in his eye, his passion is like a lasso around the torso. It’s a sickness, I tell you… that feeling we girls get when the outfit we chose specifically for you is the winner of your fantasies. And we know which dress is the dress, or which jeans are the jeans, and which shoes are the shoes. We pay close attention to this because that look you get, and the corresponding energy that comes with it, is lightning-storm-quality.

This is how so many of us get into trouble with men who are rolling stones, you know. It’s not that we are totally ignorant of their intentions. (Of course, we aren’t.) It’s that we are willing to play the role long enough to live inside of that look, that wanting, for however long we can stand to put up with the wanderlust.

We like that look, and you’d be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t be) by the number of hours and dollars committed to reigniting that same look and passion in you over and over again. It’s a winning moment to find the look that makes you say, “You in that dress… don’t wear that without me.”

“I’ll Just Do This… And You Can’t Resist Me”

I’m going to discuss this from a long-term relationship, married folks’ perspective because that’s where I experienced it. I don’t know if you can get to this level without a significant time investment because you really need to know a woman’s moods, mannerisms, and ahem hot spots to activate this type of swagger. But, to the point: the man, the man we chose, knows what to do to flip that “on” switch instantaneously. It is so bad, and so good. It just drives us wild. 🤭

It’s even better when life has just been lifing, and you wonderful, men that we chose break into the routine and start doing that thing when you know you shouldn’t be doing it. And we chuckle and pull away and say things like, “Don’t do that while the kids are still awake,” but what we’re really thinking is “In my mind, I’m already…” (I mean seriously, this is a PG article.)

To get to a place in the relationship where the man is like, “If I just do this… you can’t resist me”… It’s such a beautiful, vibrant place. It’s fun and forbidden from time to time, and we (the women) love that.

And the Thing Is… These Don’t Cost a Thing

These three aspects of the romance factor — the approach, the look, and that thing you do — are just you being your wonderful selves. These are not $1,000-dollar dinners, surprise trips to Dubai, long nights buying up bars, or any of that other crap that loud voices are trying to convince you are necessary to be that guy.

These gestures are an honest man’s intention to discover who a woman really is (sexually or other). They are also an honest man’s attempt to demonstrate that the woman at that moment is the woman of his choice for however long he can stand it.

And I gotta tell you, telling a girl that she’s that girl and meaning it, that’s pretty romantic and pretty wonderful to us. 😉

Keep reading the Men Are Wonderful series with Entry 3: The Grit Factor.