Meet & Greet @ A Solo Social

Kicking off Sober In The City, an alcohol-free retreat

Traveling solo can be such a relief! Finally some ‘quiet time’ away from the kids, work responsibilities, and mundane daily tasks like wiping the counter (again).

But companionless journeys can also produce anxiety — especially when traveling to a sober retreat full of women you’ve never met before and who know nothing about you..

Meeting people without society’s social lubricant can bring out the shyness in anyone. Ingesting a chemical depressant relaxes your prefrontal cortex resulting in not having to think twice about what comes out of your mouth. You feel like you are loosening up, when really, stimulants are countering the depressant in your brain, often leaving people to feel anxious again and get another drink.

Liquid libations are a slippery slope when it’s difficult to have ‘just one.’

So how do you loosen up without booze?

Sober in The City Palm Springs, a Zero Proof Experience hosted a “Solo Social,” a meet and greet event to welcome the solivagant.

Me. The Lone Wanderer

I went, but not before checking in at the welcome table. Cool. A grab bag! Cards, a drink, a sweatband. What? A badge?!?! With my name on it?!?! Sweet.

I am here. I am doing this. This is happening!

I see Susie Steelman, the founder of the event when I enter the room. We hug and say our excitement about being in the same room, 3D, without a box in front of us. In-person connecting is totally cool.

Women start to gather around the beverage counter.

We Drink.

My favorite standby is in a silver tub full of ice. Gruvi Dry Secco. (Oh, how I remember filling those buckets with ice for events similar to this one, yet with far less notepads and cups of candy.)

Next to the bin of bubbly goodness was something curious– something I didn’t recognize. Not that I am a connoisseur of NA and AF beverages, but still, I was drawn to the dark brown bottles and mauve-colored cans.

What do we have here?

Out of the ice bin came a label “Curious Elixirs No 2.”

Oh. What is this?

I read the ingredients on the back. I recognized ginger.

Not wanting to sacrifice the entire drink, I asked people around me, “do you want to try this with me?”

“Sure.”

“Oh yes, please.”

We got rocks glasses filled with ice and poured a thicker-than-juice liquid into the glass sparkling from the light of the room.

Cheers and sip.

Two of us aren’t sure. Is the ginger too potent? What is that flavor I am picking up?

I am not an adjective lady, so finding the proper descriptive words was challenging.

Someone admitted, “I kind of like this. Can I have some more?”

Of course! I didn’t realize I was bogarting the can.

Susie then came over and explained that this was more of a health drink. It has adaptogens that help your body respond to stress and increase your overall well-being. (I had to look up adaptogen).

She also explained that this drink was more of a sipping drink, a beginning cocktail, or a nightcap that won’t leave you feeling like you’ve had one too many.

We sampled a few more with a deeper sense of what we were tasting.

Then it came for the Solo Social event, the icebreaker.

Peggi Cooney, Chief Connections Officer of SITC, lead the activity with “line up by the title of your favorite movie.”

Women started to wander around the room, eyeballs tracing their brains.

What’s my favorite movie?

Which decade should I go with here…childhood? Adolescence? Young Adult? Comedy?

Too many questions. Not enough direction. That’s the beauty of the icebreaker. It makes you have to talk to others and figure it out.

When I am asked this question, the first movie that pops into my mind is always Titanic. The rags to riches and riches to rags story greatly impacted me. Not only because of Leo and Kate but because it’s a similar story to my own family.

My grandmother came from an affluent family who didn’t want much to do with her after she married for love and not money. I don’t think she wanted much to do with them, either.

I don’t know the whole story. The Titanic story provided some insights into hypothetical reasons why there could have been distance between my mother and her side of wealth.

Also, my parents wouldn’t have met if my great grandpa had gone on the Princess Sophia, another famous ship sinking, as he should have when tried to get from the Yukon Territory to Walnut Creek, California. Everyone thought he was dead, even had a funeral, until a telegram said: “Not Dead.”

I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for rags to riches and riches to rags.

So, the story was more romantic to me than James Cameron intended.

And yet… Now as an adult, that movie drives me crazy. Is it really necessary to repeat each other’s names a million times? If I had a drink every time I heard Jack or Rose, I’d be wasted.

No Ethanol Needed.

There were movies I knew, movies from the 80s, movies from decades beyond me.

But it was interesting to learn about these beautiful women, their walks of life, where their doorstep lies, and what they were looking forward to this weekend. A few lawyers, counselors, coaches, mothers, widows, young and old. These are my people this weekend.

The party is just getting started and you know what? No ethanol needed!

It was refreshing to not have to consider how to turn down a drink, feel the anxiety over answering prying questions, feel the effects of decision fatigue set in and cave in a moment of weakness.

Traveling solo to a sober retreat was off to a great start. I left the Solo Social feeling less of a stag and more like I belonged there, embracing my clear-minded, sober self.

Have you traveled solo to a retreat before? What was it like?

Stay tuned for travel insights from the rest of the weekend. What other tasty things did I try? If you can’t wait, check out my Facebook alcohol-free travel blog.

Patty McMahon, M.Ed is an educator, a certified wellness coach, a mother, wife, and dog lover writing about sobriety and wellness in the 21st c. To learn more, check out her About Me Stories. Join her newsletter to get more insights on wellness delivered to your inbox. Check out her linktr.ee or become a medium member using this link. GET FREE GUIDE: 10 THINGS TO TRY BEFORE OPENING THE BOTTLE