Medium is One Big Singing Competition. Stop Bombing Your Audition

Mic check one, two..is this thing on?

I’ve been on Medium for almost two months now and I know many of you (literally none of you) look to me for guidance on how to do Medium “the right way”. So here is my latest lesson. Take meticulous notes. I’m obviously the only person qualified to give this advice.

But first, a story within my story.

My reality tv hating husband recently discovered his love of singing competitions. The Voice, American Idol, The Masked Singer, you name it. He loves them all.

But one thing I’ve noticed is he uses some performances as his commercial break. One day I asked him what made him get up in the middle of certain songs.

“They don’t keep my interest. I don’t want to watch the ones that sound like every other singer even if they hit all the notes perfectly.”

I’m paraphrasing, of course. The real answer was more like “I dunno. Some of them are boring. Grab me a beer, will ya? I gotta take a leak.”

And ding, ding, ding, an article was born.

Allow me to set the stage:

You’re auditioning for The Voice (or literally any singing competition for those unfamiliar with this particular one). You’ve found the perfect song. You pick out a flashy outfit and present your musical masterpiece to a live audience and a panel of judges.

You’re met with half-hearted claps and unenthused judges. “I’m going to have to pass.” They all agree your performance wasn’t good enough to advance to the next round.

Where did you go wrong? Your song was exactly what they were looking for. You nailed every word. Your outfit was on fleek or whatever slang the cool kids use those days.

But none of that was enough to gain the heart of your audience. You have no adoring fans. Your problem wasn’t the song. Your problem was your voice. You played it safe. You used autotune in an effort to sound perfect but instead, blended into the crowd of other contestants doing the exact same thing.

Do you get where I’m going with this?

Writing on Medium is just like auditioning for one of those televised voice competitions except you don’t have to spend the night peeing in a diaper so you don’t lose your spot in line.

You can pick the perfect topic, dress it up with the best headline and picture, but if you haven’t found your own authentic writing style, you risk losing your readers before they finish your meticulously crafted article.

It makes sense in theory. Write your story in a safe, vanilla tone. No need to add any personality if you’re just presenting information. The truth is, even if you’re writing a factual story on which type of cement you should choose to lay bricks, it helps to add something extra to keep the reader's attention.

If someone is reading your article, “The Best Cement to Lay Bricks”, they could easily just scroll to the bottom, see the recommendation and leave without reading the rest of the story. (I have no idea what is used to lay bricks and I don’t care enough to research this).

But if, while scrolling, something interesting catches their eye, they are more likely to stick around and read.

Hey, this dude knows a ton about cement and he also knows so many ways to effortlessly use the word “cattitude” in a sentence.

Wow, I sure love how he said this article was sponsored by the Three Little Pigs. That little jokester.

Ok, maybe my voice is slightly sarcastic, mildly funny. Yours doesn’t have to be.

Maybe your Medium name is Keystone Karl and you enjoy getting wasted and giving your best financial advice while double-fisting Key Stone beers.

To each his own. But own that.

Tell me how many beer cans I’ll need to return to get enough deposit money for retirement. Make sure to let me know all the typos are because you’re drunk and the letters on your keyboard keep moving around.

Find your voice in your stories and let it shine through. This doesn’t mean you have to pick a niche. It means write about whatever topic you choose for your article with a consistent tone so your readers what to expect from you.

Admittedly, I’m relatively new to Medium but I can tell you from experience, once I fine-tuned the tone of my articles, my stories gained much more attention.

I approach every article with the vocal sounds of Christina Aguilera in mind or “in miiIIIIAaayyyaaannd” as Christina would sing it.

I hope you sang that out loud with one hand to your ear in true Christina fashion.

Now get writing! And if you see Keystone Karl, could you send him my way? I’d love to get advice on a 401k vs a Roth IRA over a cold IPA.

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