Medium for Dummies
Don’t believe what “they,” say.

I’m going to start off Monday morning with a bang. A virtual bang on the head for the writer who penned an older story, geared to “idiots,” about making money on Medium.
I am one of these idiots as I actually took the four minutes to read this crap. All I gleaned was that the Medium powers-that-be will bestow bonus bucks on a story they deem to be extra-special. This is news to me. Is it to you, as well? Or have I just been oblivious?
Imagine. A bonus! For being extra-special! Woo Hoo! One more carrot to scurry for and not get. But that’s okay as I just checked my stats and one of my stories made seven bucks! Seven whole dollars, people! Beat that with a stick.
Thank you from the bottom of my hardened heart! Wait a minute so I can grab my ankles and bend over. Oooh. Ahhh. Here comes another fiver! Sorry, Honest Abe. You deserve better than this.
From what I’ve observed, the only way to make money on Medium is to write the same content repeatedly. Regurgitate it in a whole “new” way but write the same thing. All. The. Time. Carve out your niche and squeeze in next to the hundred other writers who are writing the same stories you are. Make sure to hold your breath because the air will be fetid. As in stale.
If your niche is “sex,” make sure your content is as prurient as you can possibly make it. We want to smell the funk. Feel the wet. Gird our loins right along with you. We want that money shot. Pun intended. And while you’re at it, you can throw a few bucks our way just for putting up with you. (Now there’s a story.)
If your niche is “Medium success tips,” just copy and paste some tips from a similar story, change the wording a little and hit “publish.” Or even better, tell us, writers, to “just keep writing” Bang! Five thousand claps and you didn’t even break a sweat.
If your niche is “poetry,” be sure to throw together a long opus where, after struggling to get through it — even reading aloud a stanza or two — I have no idea what you were trying to convey. Was it sad? Joyful? Was a unicorn involved? Or Big Foot? I have no clue.
I need to break here to tell Medium I love them so that I’m not blackballed.
Medium, I love you guys! You’re the bestis! Thank you for allowing me to write here!
So. Who am I to offer up advice? A veteran writer who can take a licking and keep on ticking, that’s who. Someone who can endure a vigorous ass-kicking and come back for more. Someone who spends a whole lot of time working for little-to-no-pay.
In other words, I’m a fucking dummy. A Medium dummy. But that’s better than being a run-of-the-mill dummy. I think. Kind of like being a village idiot in an upscale village.
I read writers like Stephen Sovie, Estacious(Charles White), Leslie Wibberley, Hawkeye Pete Egan B., Pam Livingston, P.G. Barnett, Robin Klammer and so many more, and wonder, “how are these people not superstars on this platform?” (I’d mention Helen Cassidy Page and Kristi Keller, but they’re probably kicking ass here.)
In my humble opinion, these folks aren’t Medium mega-earners because they mix things up, that’s why. They keep it interesting and fresh. They tell the truth. And they’re entertaining as well. That is part of the gig, after all.
Wisecracks aside, I’m not saying it’s wrong to have a niche, per se, but if you can’t write content that’s fresh, with at least one new nugget, then you don’t deserve the big bucks you’re probably making. I suppose that’s on the readers, as well. After all, that’s where the bar is ultimately raised, or dropped like a hot spud.
So don’t believe what “they,” say with their useless listicles, mediocre advice, and click-bait headlines like, “I Made a Grand this Month and Never Wrote a Single Word!”
Okay. I’d read that. But I’d feel queasy, after.
Who can you believe if not “they?” Me! That’s who! Believe me, instead. After all, have I ever lied to you?
Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.
Thank you for reading my goofy ramblings. I hope you enjoyed this. If so, here’s more.
And please check out the other great writers in my pub, Rogues’ Gallery.
