Medium Bans The Word ‘Tapestry’
Ramping up its attack on AI
In an attempt to further crack down on the infiltration of AI, Medium has decided to ban the word ‘tapestry.’
It will not discriminate whether a writer chooses to use ‘tapestry of life’ or ‘tapestry of death’ or ‘tapestry of pure idiocy.’
‘Tapestry’ is out.
Other words Medium is now banning are ‘weaving, woven, wove, symphony, symphonic, fabric, intricate, and web.’ In fact, it would be safe to just stay away from any sewing metaphors. Period. Full stop.
As Coach put it,
“Medium is not some kind of Magic Carpet Ride. We are an online writing platform by and for human writers. We are looking for a human touch.”
So be careful, writers. Gone are the days you can log onto ChatPTSD and cut and paste whole passages of its automated verbosity and publish it en masse and think yourself clever for it.
Likewise, if in all innocence you find yourself unwittingly beginning a story with something like the following:
‘In the symphony of my golden morning, I found myself deeply woven into several intricate webs, plots, and intrigues, which formed a greater tapestry of turmoil beyond the woven fabric of my immediate symphonic atmosphere’ —
STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING!
Get up from your computer, go to the bathroom and splash your face with cold water. Give yourself a few hard slaps on each side of your face, and repeat after me:
“I am a human being and I have my own voice. Use it.”
Now you can go back to your computer and delete everything you have just written. Start fresh, and stay away from the word ‘tapestry.’
© Carlo Zeno 2023
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Thanks for reading. For further clarification on the invasion of ChatPTSD’s arsenal of ‘tapestries’ entering Medium’s bloodstream, check out my earlier piece below:
In case you thought it was just me, here is another recent piece on bots and tapestries from Maria Garcia:
For further discussion on the infiltration of AI language permeating the Medium pond in general, check out this recent gem by Seda Anbarcı 👇
For a discussion on the ethics of employing AI as a shortcut to increase your productivity and earn more money on Medium, check out these two by Willow Reed and R C Hammond:
For a one-sided poetry competition between the discerning Shereen Bingham and the tapestry-happy ChatPTSD, try this recent caper below:
Thank you, Grandma Smillew.
