Masturbation as a Way to Female Empowerment

masturbation is not only physical pleasure: it’s personal empowerment

I started to masturbate only in my adulthood — a null sexual education and poor sexual curiosity being my reasons.

When I discovered the pleasures of solo masturbation (mutual masturbation came long after; due to my embarrassment and lack of initiative from my lovers.), I was amazed. Not only for the physical pleasure, for the lovely sensation of being intimate with myself, but also because I felt its long-lasting effects. Masturbation changed me.

Masturbation empowered me as a woman.

Since I started masturbating, I do it often. I don’t have an average for it; I can either masturbate daily for weeks, sometimes more than once, or go more than a week without touching myself. It depends on various factors. I never think of masturbation as a duty — I do it when I feel like it. And sometimes I do it because I need to relax, to release stress from my body. What a better way to do it than with an orgasm?

What I know — and my research on the topic proved it as truthful — is that masturbation not only provides me immediate pleasure and a feeling of wellbeing, as it also strengths my femininity. It empowers me.

Why you should masturbate (more)

Female masturbation has several benefits for you, both physical and psychological. Let’s start by talking about the benefits of achieving orgasm for your physical health:

Reduces stress

When we bring ourselves to orgasm, our body releases the so-called “happiness hormones”: dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. That will cause a decrease in our stress levels; we achieve a sensation of general wellbeing.

After the climax, our body will immediately become relaxed. Which take us to the next benefit of masturbating:

Better sleep quality

Because the “happiness hormones” are doing their job, we are relieved from the accumulated stress. Getting rid of the tension will allow you to fall asleep quicker and with your mind in a good place.

Tones your pelvic floor muscles

The pelvic floor muscles are responsible for the contractions we have during orgasm. That means the more we climax, the more we strengthen our pelvic floor muscles— and this equals to increasing sexual sensations and stronger orgasms. It also means that the area near the pelvic floor (our genitals) will be more sensitive to touch: your arousal levels will take a boost.

Also, by strengthening the muscles of the pelvic floor, we are actively supporting the bladder and bowel, reducing the likelihood of accidentally leaking, which can happen with childbirth and with ageing. (source)

Easies body pain and menstrual cramps

The endorphins released during orgasm will also have an important role in relieving physical aches, namely migraines, and menstrual cramps. They will replace the sensation of pain for pleasurable ones.

Masturbation increases the blood flow in our body, which also has a positive impact on the body’s tolerance for pain. Also, when menstruating, the uterine contractions will help the menstrual blood come out from the uterus. (source)

Either you don’t have a sexual partner, or you are in a relationship with a satisfactory (or great) sex life, your orgasms are always important for your sense of self; for your mental health.

Either partnered or self-induced, orgasms should be a part of your life.

Now that we talked about the main physical benefits of the orgasm; let’s go for the psychological impact masturbation has.

Psychological benefits of female masturbation

Several studies have concluded that a low percentage of women achieve orgasm with penetrative sex. It’s estimated that less than 30% of women do (source). That is one of the reasons that so many of us depend on masturbation to climax.

To achieve orgasm, a high percentage of women must take pleasure in their own hands.

By taking control of your pleasure, you are claiming your right to it; you are giving yourself what you deserve.

Before I started to masturbate, I had a sensation of lacking will power. I felt aroused when I was in my privacy, but I repressed my desires, I didn’t feel confident to offer me the pleasures I was seeking. Since I took my pleasure in my own hands (literally), I regained a new sense of female self-confidence.

Masturbation improves self-confidence

When I took control of my sexual pleasure, I felt empowered. Gaining control made me feel complete — I didn’t depend on no one else to achieve an orgasm. Because often I wouldn’t come when having partnered sex, by masturbating, I was ensuring my body relieved the sexual tension accumulated. I became self-sufficient in my pleasure. Not saying masturbation will substitute partnered sex — no way!

Apart from in one relationship, I never felt sexually frustrated, despite being part of the 30% group of women that don’t climax with penetrative sex. My sexual partners were always creative and dedicated enough to make me come with stimulation of other erogenous zones.

Having the power of self-pleasure, of claiming your orgasm whenever you wish, it’s empowering.

Masturbation contributes to a positive body image

Masturbating contributes positively to the relationship you have with your body. I believe that we all have body issues: there is always something in our body that we would change if we had the chance. The difference is that some women and men have deeper body issues — to the point of non-acceptance.

When you masturbate, you are in intimate contact with your body; you explore your erogenous zones; you positively touch yourself, you feel your skin, your flesh, your vulva, your breasts, your hands slid over your belly,… It’s a deep, sensual, intimate attuning with your body, in a frozen moment in time: you, your body and pleasurable sensations.

During masturbation, your body is nothing else than a source of pleasure.

Through masturbation, you are positively feeding your body image: tuning with your body, you will feel it as a source of pleasure; something beautiful and worthwhile.

Masturbation will help you to positively work in your self-acceptance.

You will know your body better (which will lead to better partnered-sex)

When masturbating, you are intimate with your body. You will explore your erogenous points; you will stimulate them; trying new sensations, experiencing all sorts of pleasures. You can use only your body or add toys to the moment — it’s undoubtedly an intimate and pleasurable exploration.

Through masturbation, you will know what you like and how you like it.

Knowing what you like and how you like it, will have a massive impact on your sex life, namely when you have sex with someone.

Masturbation improves your partnered sex life

When you have sex with another person, you will be able to guide your lover, either voicing your desires or guiding their hands/toys through your body. The chances of you achieving orgasm(s) during partnered sex increases potentially.

The more aware you are of your centre of pleasures, the better you can communicate it to your lover. Also, by conquering a new sense of self — one empowered by the in-depth knowledge of your body — you will feel more comfortable to engage in mutual masturbation with your lover. Before, after or during sex.

Knowing that you achieve orgasm in a specific way(s) will improve your ability to claim it when having partnered sex.

Masturbation is pleasurable

Being a pleasurable activity should be reason enough for you to masturbate often. We are usually so busy and stressed out; multitasking over our not-enough-24-hours day, that we neglect in indulging ourselves in pleasurable activities.

You deserve pleasure; you deserve to achieve orgasm, over and over again.

Masturbation increases the possibility of multiple orgasms

By exploring your body — with no pressures, with dedication-, you will learn what satisfies you, and how.

Through masturbation, you will truly know your body, how to trigger pleasure, and escalate it to orgasm — once, twice, three times… do I need to say more?

Explore your body, claim your orgasms, single or multiple!

Take away

Masturbation provides pleasure, comfort, and self-knowledge. It improves your physical and mental health; it boosts your sex life and empowers you as a woman: a confident, self-sufficient one.

Independently if you are in a relationship, you are single or anything in between, masturbation should always be part of your self-care routine.

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