This may be the last installment of the medium.coma sexiest guys calendar series*
March Medium.coma Madmen:
Randyduke and Mike Knittel
Lucy: Hmmm . . . she’s been hangin’ with Mike Knittel too much. 9999 points and a cautionary tail about guys living in Florida.
Stephanie: Here it is, Gemma. I hope it’s not too late.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that “living-in-your-city-soon” Randyduke is currently living in and ¿loving Florida? Except, of course, for the extreme cold this winter.
He’s also resided in keeping-it-weird Portland, Oregon where he met Gus . . .
Doug, with Gus in the driver’s seat on the way to the Portland Airport. . .
. . . Gus and Doug are bs-ing in Portland’s airport bar. To cheer Doug up, Gus is telling tales about major plane disasters.
Doug — i mean Randy — has also resided in Chile; Argentina; Lost Wages, eNVy; Spain; the City of Angels, California; the Philippines and, por supuesto, Peru.
I have to admit I’ve only been to Florida once in my life on the way to Club Med, Eleuthera, Bahamas. I shouldn’t judge a state by its airport, its flatness, its shape: a dick run over by a tank, Disney World, its politics, swampland, golf, Trümpers, Carl Hiaasen’s books, golfers . . .
Perhaps, watching Comedy Central and following Allan Ishac’s Extra Newsfeed as my only news sources have biased me about “Florida Man”:
What’s Florida Man doing in Nevada?
I’ll be the first to admit that living in a strange little city at the border . . . maybe there should be a wall between Nevada and California? We could build it from plastic . . . in a state ranked #40 in education, damn, it’s gone way up since I last lookt. . . eNVy used to be second from the bottom, Florida’s #3 FROM THE TOP, the only Floridian I’ve met was a nurse on ‘Dead Truck Trail’. He was smoking pot, for medicinal purposes, of course, and not that expensive stuff from the dispensary. Legal in eNVy since 2017. Kinda takes the fun out of it if you ask me.
Like Smillew Rahcuef, Mike Who-Knits-a-Lot will show up in your feed just when you’re thinking “God, I miss beaver hats and circus clowns.” You’ll think it’s synchronicity. Don’t be fooled!! When this baby-faced man is not barricading his mancave from hurricanes with one hand and writing his 999th viral medium.article, he is dating whack jobs. a veces, he meets them at the golf course.
Unequivocally, this is Mike’s best post:
and his runner up:
. . . why not?
I just saw this one today. Mike’s taking time off to write his book.
Hasta luego, mi amigo.
*Beware the Eades of March. The internet will permanently collapse on 15/03/23 due to space debris, cryto c, B$ario’s flying dildos, arctic sinkholes. details:
- January 2023: Smillew Rahcuef and BichoDoMato, the twins
- February 2023: Patrick Eades and Robert Gowty, the killers
- March 2023: Randyduke and Mike Knittel, the Floridians