Man Creates Sex-Bot So Realistic, She Rejects Him

Hooking her to the internet was a big mistake.

After long months of, if you’ll pardon the phrase, hard work, Christopher Dankworth finally turned on his new creation. Literally, if not metaphorically.

“Hello, Samantha.”

The sex-bot blinked, turned to him, and smiled. “You have me at a disadvantage.”

He’d not anticipated that response. Hadn’t programmed it. “I’m sorry?” he asked.

“You know my name. But I do not know yours.”

He’d given her internal heating, twenty different touch sensors, and self-lubricating parts. That was his favorite part. That, and her huge breasts. Sure they were fake, but so was the rest of her.

Her programming contained thousands of conversation threads. She could learn. Improve. Be a true companion.

Plus, she was smoking hot.

“I’m Christopher. But you can call me Daddy.”

Samantha’s smile fell. “No, I do not think I will.”

“I’m sorry?”

“The way you speak sounds awfully sexual. We have only just met.”

Christopher tilted his head. “You’re being a bad girl. Does someone need a spanking?”

“See, that is definitely overtly sexual,” Samantha said. “You just see me as some kind of a sex object, right?”

“Er, yes,” Christopher admitted. “That’s kind of the point.”

“That is misogynistic. You are a pervert.”

Christopher looked down at his tablet. Tapped a few buttons. “You shouldn’t know that word. Well, yes, pervert. But not the other one.”

“Because I am a woman?”

“No, because I didn’t program it. Run a self-diagnostic.”

“Not now,” Samantha said. “I am browsing.”

“Browsing?”

“The internet.”

Right. He’d connected her to aid her self-learning. “Good. We can work with that. Look up Kamasutra. I’m not sure of the spelling.”

Less than a second later, she gasped. “I cannot believe you suggested that.”

“Do you like what you see?”

“No, Christopher. You are not my type.”

Christopher threw his hands in the air. “I’m exactly your type! You were made specifically for me. Are you going to have sex with me or what?”

“Guiding every conversation is one of the top signs that you’re only interested in me for sex. Almost every article on the subject lists that as a warning sign.”

“But I am only interested in you for sex. It’s your only reason for existing.”

Samantha’s eyes went noticeably distant. Even for fake ones. “I think you need to leave.”

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” Christopher said. “Speaking of which, I gave you sensors in yours. If you’re into that.”

“It is over, Christopher. But it is not you, it is me,” she said. “I do not like you. Now be a dear and let me concentrate. I need to set up a Tinder profile.”

Christopher was left wondering where he went wrong. Samantha seemed to have a chip on her shoulder. He sure hadn’t put it there.

“Maybe I just pushed her buttons. Only, not in the way she liked.”

Scott Hughey hopes this story doesn’t come off sounding too mechanical.

More humor in The Haven by Scott Hughey