Make Your Valentine’s Day Sex More Sensual

Use it as an opportunity to break your routine

I’ve always loved doing something special for Valentine’s Day.

It’s never been anything big, but just something that helps us get out of the routine, show our appreciation for each other, and flare up the romance a little.

For my first Valentine’s Day with Mr. Austin, I made his favorite dessert (apple pie) even though I’m not all that fond of baking. I also bought him some silky, heart print boxers.

We still celebrate it more or less the same way. We make a special treat and have a little at-home date night after the kids are in bed.

We make sure to break our routine and connect a little more than usual. But there’s one thing that doesn’t change: the way we have sex.

We have sex on Valentine’s Day, but there’s nothing out of the ordinary about it. We fuck like we would any other day of the week.

It’s still enjoyable, obviously, but I want to scrap that pattern. I want us to have sex that feels like Valentine’s Day sex, not just ordinary Friday night sex.

Since it’s a romantic, flowers-and-chocolates kind of day, the best way to make the sex more special is to make it more sensual.

There are a lot of ways you can make sex more sensual. Here are my favorites.

Dress Up

After years of having sex with the lights off, I’m starting to appreciate the visual component of sex. Other than using candles or twinkle lights to create mood lighting, you can add a visual element by wearing lingerie or a sexy costume.

Lingerie is a very simple way to make yourself a bit more seductive and to give your partner a visual treat.

If you think you’re not sexy enough to pull off lingerie, you’re wrong. I used to think lingerie wasn’t for me and the thought of dressing up in anything remotely sexy made me feel self-conscious.

After years and years of window shopping, I finally bought some because I decided to listen to my husband. He said he found me desirable, and he sure as hell acted like he thought I was attractive. I focused on that instead of my worries, and even though I felt a little silly getting ready, the way he looked at me made it all worth it.

Trust me. If your partner desires you, they will be turned on by seeing you in lingerie.

And remember that a costume doesn’t have to be skimpy to be sexy. So you can cover up quite a bit while still making your partner’s fantasies come true.

Men can dress up, too. Though I’ve never personally found sexy costumes or lingerie for men all that appealing (heart-printed boxers aside). Put him in a suit for the date night, though, and I’ll be extra eager to get him out of it when we’re alone.

All-Night Erotic Massages

If you can block off a few uninterrupted hours to yourselves, you can spend the night giving each other long, erotic massages. It feels great and it’s a really nice tactile experience, too.

Set the mood with scented candles and make sure you have plenty of massage oil or silicone lube one hand. Start with sensual, full-body massages. Rub each other down so you’re both highly relaxed and extremely aroused.

Then, take turns giving each other a pussy massage or penis massage (depending on what you’re working with down there). There are specific techniques you can use for those, but the basic idea is that they’re long (think 30 to 60 minutes), slow massages where the point is to enjoy the pleasurable sensations, not focus on the orgasm.

But don’t worry. If you do them right, they have one hell of a happy ending, too.

Use a Little Sensory Deprivation

One great way to make sex more sensual is to deprive yourself or your partner of one or more of their senses.

Blindfolding is the obvious way to do this, but you can also use earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones.

Blocking off one sense is a good way to heighten the others. You become even more intensely focused on your partner’s touch and tongue.

This works especially well if you’re on the more submissive side. I am, and there’s just something about taking away some of my senses that makes me feel like I’m giving myself over to my partner even more.

Use Flavored Lube

Years ago, Mr. Austin and I tried edible chocolate body paint. It sounded like the perfect way to add a little erotic fun to our night.

Sadly, it was disappointing. We planned to lick it off each other’s bodies as foreplay and then fuck. But after licking it off, we were still sticky. Going over it with our tongues again didn’t seem to help much. So, instead of going from licking to sex, we went from licking to taking turns washing it off in the shower.

So, if you want to play with taste, skip the chocolate body paint. Flavored lube is a much better choice.

For one thing, you’ll get to lick somewhere that’s a lot more fun. Some of the quality brands out there taste really good, too. With the right flavor, it’s more like having a treat than something you just do for novelty.

Or Try It All

If you really want to have an incredible Valentine’s Day — and you have the time and energy — you can make a marathon out of it and try everything I’ve mentioned here.

But as long as you do something a little extra, that’s what counts. You don’t want the fact that you’re having sex to be the only thing that’s special about it.

Valentine’s Day should be one of the most erotic nights of the year. So, pull out all the stops and give your partner a sensual experience so good they’ll forget that you kind of burnt the apple pie.

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