Love Is About Faith, Not About Doubts.

The Purest Form of Love and What They Taught Me About Love

Young Daisy, the Authors dog (Photo by Author)

John and I are… The best of each other. We trust each other, we support each other, we are always there for each other, and we love each other. Yet not everyone approves of our love, so our journey through life is rather unique. But as I said to John, it’s better to be apart in our bodies and together in our hearts than to be together in the bodies and separate at hearts.

When I went to Canada, I wrote John a letter (email) every day. In this way, we felt we were travelling together. While I was sitting on the plane to Vancouver, I wrote the first letter. I had over 14 hours to think and write. Here is the situation that led to this letter.

The day before I left for Canada, I caught up with John. He was mourning his beloved dog, which had just passed away. Most people describe John as an “alpha male” — a strong, influential, confident (if not dominant) leader. I know the other side of John, the little boy living in his heart — warm, caring, loving, trying to help and support everyone (l believe this makes him such an exceptional leader). Seeing this man crying was heartbreaking for me. I was already shattered as he couldn’t come with me for the trip, but seeing him in pain worsened the situation. (It’s how love works, doesn’t it? The most painful thing we can experience is to see the person we love suffering). “I will never have a dog again! Too much pain when we lose them,”- said John in an anguished voice with tears flowing down his cheeks. I held him tight without saying a word. This sentence, however, stuck in my mind. And so, while I was sitting on the plane, I wrote a letter, trying to cheer up John, talking about love, our love, and about my dogs and the love they brought into my life.

I was thinking about dogs, and their unique ability not only to touch but steal our hearts. When we acquire them, we often believe that it is us helping them, giving them home, food and a good life as they are hardly able to survive without us, humans. Nonetheless, it doesn’t take long to realise that it is not us helping them, but they are helping us.

Our four-legged friends look after our physical and mental health. They force us to get up out of our comfortable chairs and exercise by taking them for a walk every day. It is them who, on the days when we feel sad and miserable, will come to us carrying their favourite toy and through their excited eyes saying, “let’s have a play — this is fun!”. It is impossible to look into their thrilled hopeful eyes and not smile.

It is them who, on the days when we are down, sorrowful and depressed, will come to us, put their head on our lap and without saying a word, pass the message — “I understand you. You are not alone! You have me, and I am telling you, don’t worry, everything will be all right”. In this way, they cheer us up.

And in the times when we are angry and upset, and the fury is boiling inside us, they will come, and in their special charming way, they will calm us down.

It is not us helping them; it is them helping us…

They don’t blame us for anything; they don’t accuse us of anything; they don’t want to change us; they just accept us as we are with all our flaws and imperfections and love us with all their hearts. And it is why they become part of our family, and it is so difficult to say goodbye when their time with us comes to an end…

Following this introduction, I wrote to John about my experiences with dogs. I grew up with dogs, and dogs almost always were part of my life. When I was a teenager, a dog saved my life (if it wasn’t for Dina, I doubt I would still be around…). It was a dog who taught me that my life depends on me; l have the power to change my destiny. Max made me laugh when my world collapsed, and I felt lost and lonely.

If you like, you can read these stories here. After reading them, the second part of my article will probably make more sense.

Without My Dogs, I Would Be Lost

Delightful memories of the dogs of my childhood and how they influence life

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I Never Thought a Dog Could Teach Me So Many Lessons

How Max influenced my decision and changed my life

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I was with Max only for a few months. Then I emigrated to Australia and Max stayed with my parents. I was hoping that after I settled down in my new home country, I would be able to bring Max here, too. Nevertheless, when the time finally was right to have a dog, it turned out that it would be a very expensive exercise, and also my parents started to love Max, and they didn’t want me to take him away from them. And it was how my next pet came along — Daisy.

As you know, she was also an unwanted puppy already waiting on death row for her execution. My neighbour told me that if I continued to take unwanted animals, I would end up with all the crappy creatures from the area. Maybe for some people, she is a crappy canine, and most probably, she wouldn’t win any beauty competition (though the majority of people positively comment on her fabulous dark-chocolate coloured coat). But for me, she is a wonderful friend, a very smart dog, and above all, I know that she loves me with all her heart.

She helped me so much in my life. She was always by my side and cheered me up when I had to go through all the difficult situations at home. She goes with me for my runs and to play with the cattle (that’s right, for her it is not a game, it is a very serious job which she tries to do as good as she can and… this makes her even more adorable and lovable).

She will entertain me by chasing magpies, catching rabbits and mice, and making sure that the swallows don’t build a nest on the verandah. It is so amusing watching her chasing the swallows . The birds are high in the sky, and you often cannot even see them, so it leaves Daisy looking like a mad dog running in circles on the ground without any target — very funny. I know I shouldn’t laugh at her as for her, it is a very serious job, and I have to admit that since l have her, the problem with the swallows-mess got resolved.

It is so much fun to go with her for a drive and listen to all her talks. And to see how much joy and happiness her floppy ears, excited eyes and the wagging tail bring to the nursing home where George’s parents are staying.

These people there lost all their hopes, ambitions and dreams; they are just waiting for death. And then the little funny excited creature comes along, and you can see a spark of light in the otherwise so tired, doleful and grief-stricken eyes of the senior citizens.

Sometimes I watch like elderlies try to stretch their knobby, through sickness twisted arms to just pat the black happy living soul. And Daisy stands there, patiently waiting as if she understood what is going on and why the pat takes so long and finally, when she feels the touch, she gives them a happy look and moves to the next person.

There is not even one day that I would be with Daisy, and she wouldn’t bring a smile to my face.

Neither Max nor Daisy will ever replace my Dina. She was the only one in her art. Dina was my everything; she was my friend and my companion, my shadow and my love; she was my entire world.

Nevertheless, I also gave Max and Daisy the chance to be part of my life, and through this, I gave myself the chance to learn so much more about love and life. The two other dogs showed me that the world is so much bigger than I believed it was. They taught me how to overcome pain and how to accept things in life. They showed me that different doesn’t mean worse or better, it is just different, and it is great to know it. Dina, Max and Daisy were so different, but each of them was full of love, and each of them had its unique wonderful sides, so specific just to them.

I think that with dogs, it is like with love — maybe because they are a form of love… perhaps even the purest form of love. They give themselves to their master without expecting anything in return… Yes, they hope for some food, but even if you don’t provide them with anything, they will stay loyal to you and love you with all their heart.

And we usually love them in return. It is why it is so hard to say the final “goodbye” when the time comes… Our heart gets broken as it would be when a loved one leaves us. And we say, “I will never have a dog again… Too much pain to say goodbye….” exactly as we say, “I will never love again… Too much pain when the heart gets broken….” Nevertheless, if we protect ourselves from all the risks, then… we miss out on life. It is kind of like in the song “The Rose” by Bette Midler :

It’s the heart afraid of breaking

That never learns to dance.

It’s the dream afraid of waking

That never takes the chance.

It’s the one who won’t be taken,

Who cannot seem to give.

And the soul afraid of dyin’

That never learns to live.

I believe that all the pain is there only to teach us to live our life to the fullest and be thankful for everything we have, and appreciate every moment of our existence.

I think these are the dogs who taught me the most about love. They showed me that

love is not about taking, but about giving, not about owning, but about sharing, not about doubts, but about faith, not about me, but about the person I love.

I took the risk of loving somebody with all my heart again and gave myself to the love. I know that I can get hurt again. Nevertheless, loving you, John, feels so good that it is definitely worth taking the risk.

Will it ever work? Will we ever get the chance to be together? I don’t know. However, I know that if I don’t take the risk, it for sure will not happen, as… If you want to win, you have to play and risk losing. I am thankful to myself that I gave myself the chance to love again.

I know that my heart can get broken again, but even if this happened, I would know that I lived my life to the fullest.

And I had wonderful experiences with you, which I would miss if I insisted on not loving again.

But, for now, I just hope that one day we will be together, because as I said,

love is about faith, not about doubts.

So much changed in my life since I had Dina. I am liked in society, I have human friends and the love of my life is a man, you John, not a dog. Nevertheless, I hope that dogs always will be part of my life as they are… like a delicate spice for the perfect meal. Of course, you can eat the meal without the spice, but it is so much tastier with the spice.

You can live life without a dog and be perfectly happy, but there is so much more happiness when you have them around.

This story is from my unpublished book called “Letters to John — From Canada”. One day I hope to publish the full series of “Letters to John”, but till then I decided to share snippets of my books on various social media and on writers platforms.

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