Without My Dogs, I Would Be Lost

Delightful memories of the dogs of my childhood and how they influence life

For as long as I was living at my parent’s house, there was always at least one dog at home, so since I was born, I was surrounded by dogs.

The first dog I ever met was Barry. Unfortunately, he died of cancer when I was only one year old.

Arus, or maybe he should be called Ares, the god of war

Then Arus came along — a very aggressive pure-breed German Shepherd (yes, I know, aggressive dogs are not good, but… If your household is the only one in a wide neighbourhood area that had never had a break-in, you see the story slightly different).

Arus, however, was never aggressive towards me; he always protected me — maybe one day, when I will have more time, I’ll tell you his story. I grew up with him. He was my protector (my parents never dared to yell at me when he was around), my partner in crime, my first horse (I would ride on his back, or he would pull my sled or me on skis), and he was my best friend.

He died at the age of 12 — I guess of old age. Because of his good looks, Arus was used for breeding. A few years before Arus passed away, we got Rex, Arus’s son.

Rex, Arus’s son

When I consider Rex’s character, I wonder if Arus was indeed his biological father because Rex was one of the calmest, friendliest and most affectionate canines ever walking on the planet.

The only fights he used to have were with his father. These two never saw eye to eye and could fight… (I guess it could be common between fathers and sons, also among the human species ;) — I am not sure, but I know that my father could have terrible arguments with his father, too). Nevertheless, as far as I can remember, these two dogs usually resolved their issues by themselves, without any human intervention, and without injuries requiring veterinary care.

Rex left the world when he was only five years of age — cancer took him away. It was a sad story. Rex was in agonising pain. In communist Poland, there weren’t any drugs for dogs. My parents had to take him to the vet to give him the final releasing injection. I couldn’t go with them; it was too heartbreaking for me…

Until today my father remembers Rex’s last walk, how happy the dog was to go for a walk and how much he enjoyed it. And my dad feels remorseful there was nothing he could do to give Rex a few more years to enjoy life. Rex was still a young dog… I remember my grandfather saying, “Now Rex is also gone… and the next will be me…” and not long after that, it was what had happened. My grandfather passed away…

Saba, Arus’s daughter

There was also Saba, Arus’s daughter, but she got stolen when she was just a few months old puppy. I hoped that the person who stole her was friendly and gave Saba a good life — it was the best I could hope for…

Dina, my first very own dog

And then Dina arrived at our home — my first very own dog. As you can imagine, she was a rescue dog. She was an unwanted puppy, conceived by an “accident”, a mix of German Shepherd and… God knows what. Nobody wanted to take her and give her a home. She needed a place to stay and I desperately needed a friend (at that time things in my life went terribly wrong. I have no idea how my life would turn out if it wasn’t for Dina).

Therefore, though my mum said if I brought the mongrel home she would move out, I replied I didn’t care and brought her home anyway, I needed a friend (my mum didn’t move out, she just got terribly furious with me, but she was so often angry with me, that it didn’t matter. I was used to it — if it wasn’t the dog, it would be something different.).

Dina was my everything, my best friend and my confidant, my supporter and my defender, my playmate and my companion. She walked through the mountains with me, and she cheered me up when I was down.

I could tell her all my sorrows without being afraid that she would repeat them to anybody or use it against me. She was the only person I could trust (ok, besides my sister, but Alma was just my little sister, too young to understand many of my issues. Except for this… as I mentioned to you before, I came from an environment where you lived in the accordance with the “Miranda warning”).

I had such a strong connection with Dina, that I could feel when she was unwell. I absolutely couldn’t imagine that one day she would pass away — no, she had to live forever. I had only her. Dina was my entire world.

The most difficult decision of my life

She was about 6 or maybe 7 years old when I got the opportunity to emigrate to Germany. The most difficult decision was to leave her behind… It wasn’t a big problem for Dina, as she stayed in the same house with my parents, who would look after her very well. It was a big issue for me, as I just couldn’t imagine being without her.

In the beginning, all the time I was telling myself that it was only for one year. Nevertheless, my life went differently, as it usually does and… I was living in Germany already for a few years when Dina got sick and passed away. She was about 12 years old. It hurt me a lot, though in the last few years I had hardly ever saw her.

I was glad that it wasn’t me who had to bury her. My parents were faced with this task. My mum, who usually doesn’t show any emotions and who under any circumstances would ever have a dog, as they are just a dirty disturbing nuisance, had tears flowing down her cheeks while she was putting some flowers on Dina’s lifeless body in her grave in our garden dog-cemetery.

During the years Dina was with my parents they started to love her very much. When Dina passed away, my parents said they would never ever have a dog again — too much pain when they have to go away.

Dina kept my parents’ hearts warm

Dina changed not only my life but also the life of my parents. It was hard for them to (kind of) lose both daughters — my sister and myself, we both emigrated. Dina was reminding them of me. They felt, that while they looked after my dog, which was so important to me, they were doing something for me and in this way, they were… looking after me. And hence Dina kept the connection between them and me going.

Dina was warming up my parent’s hearts, which got badly hurt by their children leaving the family home (Polish culture is very different in this respect from Australian culture — the family usually stays close together; it is changing slowly because of economical reasons, but many people don’t make it long aboard — they miss too much their families and their home country)…

Max, the greatest teacher

It was probably about two or three years later when Max came along. Max, in some respect, taught me a very important lesson in life. He showed me that everything is possible, regardless of how infeasible and unimaginable things might seem. He taught me that my life depends only on me and on who I am in my heart.

I had a few examples in my life proving that even the most unthinkable things can become the reality, however, I always believed, that it was just luck. Max showed me, that it is not just luck, it is who we are in our hearts, that can completely change our lives, change our destiny and turn our dreams into reality. He showed me that I just need to be humble, know what I want in life and have faith, that all these is possible. Then I can live my dream.

The story of Max you can find here

This story was taken from my unpublished book called “Letters to John — From Canada”. One day I hope to publish the full series of “Letters to John”, but till then I decided to share snippets of my books on various social media and on writers platforms.

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