Love Is a One Way Street

Please do not misunderstand me. I am a huge fan of love in all forms. One of the things we have all learned and are practicing is that we can only control ourselves.

Love is the perfect example of that. I am sure we have all wished a certain person at a certain time loved us. Unlike how we are often told to mentally picture something we want and if we want it bad enough it will happen. We learn if it is a thing, a job, an achievement or that type of thing and we think hard enough and we work towards that happening then it will happen.

We have learned that when it comes to changing someone else’s behavior, thoughts, or mindset, that it rarely happens. It goes back to we can only control our behavior, thoughts, and mindset.

I think when it comes to love we can learn a lot from babies or pets, especially dogs. Ever see an infant see his/her mom or dad? See the smile that lights up their face? See their entire world change in an instant? That is love. It is freely given. It is unconditional. It is a model for what adults should do with their love. Most family dogs care for every member of the family. Most dogs, however, have a human. When that human is around they are the dog’s world. They will sit there waiting to be summoned. They will give that same unconditional love to their human. The will snuggle, cuddle, belly rubs, kisses, and they will sleep with you if you allow it. You are their world. They love, they give it freely and unconditionally.

Now let’s get to the topic of adult human love. We can only control our behavior. If someone in your life deserves to be loved, if they have earned the right to be loved then love them. It is that simple. To love is a goal in itself. To love is empowering. You can love a family member as a family member. You can love a family member as a friend. You can love a friend as a friend. You can love a friend as a family member. Someone once told me that love is like Christmas presents. When you are young, you love getting them and opening them. When you are older and you care about someone, then there is more joy in buying and giving that person the perfect gift. Seeing their eyes light up. Seeing that the genuinely love that gift. Yes, you can still love getting presents.

People I love know they can call on my anytime day or night. They know that if I am near my phone I will answer it. They know if I am not. I will call back as soon as I can.

I have had friends need me when there was a blizzard. I got there because I could. I am not saying I can solve all of their problems. I am saying that I will be there for support. If I can help I will. If they need someone to sit quietly with them I will. If they are drunk in a bar and they need to get home I will be there. I might have a testy remark, but I will be there. I have had friends call me needing to get out of a house because things were dangerous. I go, I get them to safety. If someone needs some space, it may hurt but I give them space.

I give that because I love them. The hardest thing I have had to do out of love for someone is to give them up. But I have done so because it is what they needed. It doesn’t change the fact that they are loved. It just affects how that love is manifested.

We all wished to be loved. We all wish to be loved by people we love. Often it will happen. It is best when it is mutual. Love in friendship is amazing. The best part of about love in a friendship is that it can last forever. I have one that is going on sixty years. We do squabble. We do disagree. But I know I can count on Gerry and he knows he can count on me.

The best part of a friendship like that is when we get together we are kids again, and teenagers, and young adults, and now older adults. We are all of those things all at the same time. Our stories range from being ten years old to what we did last time we were together. That is what love is. Freely given to someone that has earned that right. A one way street that is hopefully matched by a one way street in the opposite direction.