ESSAY

Lost Innocence: When Waving on Highway Overpasses Turned Dark

How my childhood adventure became a nightmare

Remaining childish is a tremendous state of innocence. (John Lydon aka Johnny Rotten, The Sex Pistols)

How can we stay childishly naïve and innocent, if the world around us never stops turning and is getting tainted with vice and cruelty?

From the passenger seat, I was pondering this question. My husband and I were driving on the highway when an overpass bridge got closer. A symbol of my childhood, and a silent memorial of growing up. Posters had been attached at the railings, warning not to drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs, to put your mobile away, to watch speed limits, and to keep enough distance from other vehicles. Graffiti, sprayed acts of rebellion, were breaking the solemn tone the highway overpass tried to set.

Some people were walking over the bridge as our car approached at 100km/h. Too fast to recognize faces, but slow enough to throw me back to my childhood, when highway overpasses were nothing more than functional and fun artifacts — until everything changed decades later.

Then: The waving kid on the bridge

For little me, farm kid from a small village, adventure awaited everywhere: A trip through the meadows with the neighborhood children, picking wildflowers and foraging mushrooms. Roaming through my grandparents’ barn and animal sheds, caressing fur and feathers. Or throwing small bread pieces into the fish pond, watching how circular waves formed.

If I wanted to get a glimpse of the “big” world, though, I would meet some friends and walk a short distance – crossing one quiet street, tracking across a field where the occasional train huffed by. Until we reached the secret location everybody in the villages knew.

Our beloved wobbly bridge

A sturdy metal structure, rounded like a squished half-moon, loomed high over the four highway lanes. The blue color was already faded and chipped from withstanding harsh weather over the years.

Fit for pedestrians and cyclists only, the “wobbly bridge” was famous for its subtle swinging movements. Once you stood on it, you could feel the brute force of lorries and cars zooming by underneath – they miraculously set the small highway overpass in motion. We would shriek with joy as soon as our feet felt the vibrations.

Our favorite thing: Excitedly waving hello to the traffic, hoping the drivers would greet back. A hand wave was nice, but getting a light signal or a tooting horn would make us deliriously happy – we would jump up and down, making the wobbly bridge tremble together with us.

Friendly drivers, who were responding to our attention-seeking act, became a hot topic of discussion: Did they look cool? And what about their vehicle? To which exotic place would it take them? What was their job? Did they have kids, too? Certainly, they were the nicest people.

When our world was small and good

Back then we were only a bunch of kids, and innocence – incorruptible pureness of heart – was still our essence.

We innocently greeted drivers, without any hidden agenda. And naively assumed every driver who greeted us back would be free of any trace of malice, too. Oh, the beauty of a simple transaction of hellos.

Never would our mini-mes have suspected that the act of waving hands on highway overpasses might scare somebody someday – or that anything bad could happen at that kind of location.

Until time made us grow up, and slowly rubbed innocence away – just like the harsh elements and exhaust fumes did with the baby-blue color of our beloved wobbly bridge.

Now: The fearful (co)-driver

My micro-adventures on the wobbly bridge are a thing of the past. Now, over 25 years later, I’m not even sure the highway overpass is that wobbly anymore. Even its color has changed – to hot red. Alert-red. A warning?

Nowadays, bridges traversing highways – or any bigger road – give me the creeps. I’m an anxious co-driver as it is, too aware how crazily fast motorized humans travel, and that life can be over in a split-second. The driver's license in my wallet is mainly decorative, weighing heavy. The daughter of a professional car maniac who doesn’t drive – it’s a bit of a joke.

However, I know why especially highway overpasses became frightening.

One incident changed everything

Some incidents, or rather accidents, are so big that they shatter the world – and our ability to trust people to be good. Every news outlet reported what happened on a local highway in 2008:

In the late evening of Easter Sunday, a family of four was shattered. From a highway overpass bridge, one guy threw a heavy wood block straight into the window shield of their car. The mother, who just had survived cancer, was hit and died on the scene. The father was able to steer the damaged vehicle to the emergency lane. Kicking into hero mode, he saved himself and the children, but the heavy loss and unforeseen tragedy changed their lives forever.

Mourning and shock sank over a whole nation, like a black veil – woven of compassion for the mother who passed away, the father who became a widower, and two traumatized children — but also of sheer terror and fear.

After all, anybody could have been sitting in this car. However, anybody could have come up with the idea to throw a heavy object from a highway overpass, too. Just to let off steam and frustration, to see what happens – like the murderer later admitted in court.

By moral code and legislation, he was no longer innocent – but guilty.

Innocence lost

Growing up, and collecting life experiences on our individual paths, are we getting more and more scared and disillusioned? Losing faith in the good in people, unlocking new fears with every candle on the birthday cake?

Waving to strangers standing on our old wobbly highway bridge has become a bitter-sweet childhood memory. I wonder if today’s kids still feel the pure desire to greet strangers there, despite the gruesome incident like the first woodblock murder — and later, copycat incidents.

From a motorist’s perspective, driving toward a highway overpass bridge became a cue to alert our senses. When we see somebody standing on the bridge, cruel “what ifs” will creep into our minds. We might even change lanes – just to see that the possible “offenders” were only people resting and watching the traffic. Innocently?

More metal and some hope

Highway overpasses are increasingly losing their freedom: They are getting secured with high fences, bars, or anti-throw screens. After everything that has happened, road safety experts and engineers don’t put their trust in the maxim “innocent until proven guilty” anymore. Understandable.

Certainly, drivers feel safer now, steering toward a sealed-off highway overpass bridge. External measures are one thing. I need internal reassurance as well, though. Positive signs, to restore some lost optimism.

Recently, hubby and I were driving on the highway in our slow green van. Suddenly, a modern sports car started to overtake us, a little blond girl in the backseat. She watched over to us excitedly, and… waved. I waved back and smiled broadly. In a matter of seconds, a spark of hope.

Please, little girl, continue waving hands to strangers. Maybe even from a highway overpass bridge.

© by Mad Midori, 2023