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nd brutality I never saw in a woman. She could obliterate your face while wearing a bikini, pick up a car with one hand, and throw it as far as an Aaron Rodgers Hail Mary. The <i>50-foot Woman</i> could do everything King Kong could, but only with more style and grace.</p><p id="e787">I turned to my then-friend, Jeff, and asked:</p><p id="16b1"><b>“Where did she buy a bikini that size?”</b></p><p id="ecae">“Come on, Mark. It’s a horror movie. You gotta believe things that aren’t true. Otherwise, you won’t enjoy it.”</p><p id="a113">“I wonder how she would look naked?” I asked.</p><p id="5898">“Who cares? We just want to see the military destroy her. She’s a damn monster!”</p><p id="dda4"><b>“That’s a shame. It wasn’t the woman’s fault that she grew into a colossal freak. An alien infected her. Aliens always screw up people’s lives.”</b></p><p id="815e">Even though Jeff and my other friends wanted the military to obliterate the poor woman, I wanted to see her survive. So I was happy when she squeezed the life out of her philandering husband, dropped a ceiling beam on his slutty mistress, and screwed up the city’s transit system. Revenge was sweet. All women, I believe, deserve to be as big as Marilyn or the<i> 50-Foot Woman</i> for one day. That way, they can get revenge on all the lousy men they dated.</p><p id="15b5">Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow <a href="https://medium.com/muddyum">MuddyUm</a> and <a href="https://mftulin.medium.com/">Mark Tulin</a></p><p id="e058">© 2022 <a href="undefined">Mark Tulin</a></p><p id="bd66"><b>To Join Medium, please use my affiliate link and <a href="https://mftulin.medium.com/membership">become a member today</a>.</b></p><p id="7851">Here are three more funny ones by Mark Tulin:</p><div id="26eb" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/wheref

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ore-art-thou-mindy-kozinski-89b6ff4a679b"> <div> <div> <h2>Wherefore Art Thou, Mindy Kozinski?</h2> <div><h3>The true story of Romeo and Juliet, kind of</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*[email protected])"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="eeae" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-day-i-rode-bareback-with-lady-godiva-3a134d2876d0"> <div> <div> <h2>The Day I Rode Bareback with Lady Godiva</h2> <div><h3>In the Costco parking lot</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*[email protected])"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="8af5" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/just-call-me-an-old-dog-c9a9ee395b7"> <div> <div> <h2>Just Call Me an Old Dog</h2> <div><h3>Literally</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*1oRv3m-Opmn1k7GHeHUC0Q.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><figure id="bf50"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*6SWfaAZKNh4UIccdIb7QWw.png"><figcaption>Brand Art by David Todd McCarty</figcaption></figure></article></body>

TALL WOMEN FETISH

Looking Up Marilyn’s Dress

I admit it was in poor taste

Photo by the author, Mark Tulin

When I first saw Marilyn Monroe, the iconic sex symbol, standing there with her dress up, my first instinct was to walk under her skirt and get a bird’s eye view, like any red-blooded male. So despite my wife thinking it was in poor taste, I took a picture of Marilyn’s underside anyway. How many times do you have the opportunity to get a panty shot like this and not get arrested?

“Mark, I can’t believe you did that with everyone watching. It’s embarrassing.”

“Honey,” I said. “I would never do this if Marilyn were alive. I would have too much respect for her.”

I know Marilyn was only a sculpture, but she was a jaw-dropping one. It had to weigh at least ten tons and was made of steel — but despite it being a sculpture, it looked too real to pass up.

Of course, it would be more believable if Marilyn had stood over a steam vent in New York City and not in the middle of Palm Springs in hundred-degree weather.

Marilyn wasn’t the only tall woman I ever admired.

Photo of a mural by Mark Tulin

It was many years ago. I was only nine when my friends and I saw Attack of the 50ft Woman in the movies. She was twice as tall as the Palm Springs Marilyn, but she had a combination of sensuality and brutality I never saw in a woman. She could obliterate your face while wearing a bikini, pick up a car with one hand, and throw it as far as an Aaron Rodgers Hail Mary. The 50-foot Woman could do everything King Kong could, but only with more style and grace.

I turned to my then-friend, Jeff, and asked:

“Where did she buy a bikini that size?”

“Come on, Mark. It’s a horror movie. You gotta believe things that aren’t true. Otherwise, you won’t enjoy it.”

“I wonder how she would look naked?” I asked.

“Who cares? We just want to see the military destroy her. She’s a damn monster!”

“That’s a shame. It wasn’t the woman’s fault that she grew into a colossal freak. An alien infected her. Aliens always screw up people’s lives.”

Even though Jeff and my other friends wanted the military to obliterate the poor woman, I wanted to see her survive. So I was happy when she squeezed the life out of her philandering husband, dropped a ceiling beam on his slutty mistress, and screwed up the city’s transit system. Revenge was sweet. All women, I believe, deserve to be as big as Marilyn or the 50-Foot Woman for one day. That way, they can get revenge on all the lousy men they dated.

Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow MuddyUm and Mark Tulin

© 2022 Mark Tulin

To Join Medium, please use my affiliate link and become a member today.

Here are three more funny ones by Mark Tulin:

Brand Art by David Todd McCarty
Humor
Marilyn Monroe
Womens Sexuality
Horror Movies
Muddyum
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