Looking Out for Friends Battling Depression and Suicide

Insights From an Aspiring Therapist

I’m spending a lot of time thinking about my own emotions and the emotions of others, especially as I work towards becoming a therapist in my area. While I’m in the second rodeo of graduate school, I have worked and volunteered closely with vulnerable individuals in the past.

A lot of times, we have friends who are battling a myriad of problems of their own. Whether it is the aftermath of them losing a loved one, or just simply a dark cloud that has seemingly appeared out of nowhere, it worries us when our friends are in a bad place.

We are their friends after all, and we care for them in ways that no one else is going to understand.

Concerned for their well-being, we wonder what our options are. We might be feeling particularly powerless, seeing this friend sink further and further into the deep molasses of darkness.

Depression can be sometimes fleeting, but it can also be chronic and pervasive, last many months, and can often produce many psychological and physiological signs, such as fatigue, lower energy, eye problems, stomach pains, back pain, and many more.

While it sounds pretty overwhelming, depression is a surprisingly common circumstance. This means that many others have gone through the notions, and have somehow continued to fight onward.

Fighting onwards, those others were somehow able to conjure up the energy to seek help, eventually forging a pathway that took them out of harm’s way.

That being said, the ways that people experience depression can vary significantly. It’s probably not a good idea to storm into their room and demand that they see a physician right away.

That’s a surefire way to ensure that the door is closed on you.

Instead, it might be better to reach out or do a random check-in with this friend, ask them how they are doing, emphasize that they’re not alone, and just listen in carefully.

As they talk, you wouldn’t suddenly overtake the conversation and compare it to something that once happened to you. You might come across as someone who is invalidating their struggle.

The point is to be as objective and kind as possible. Emphasize that you’re willing to be there to support them. On their own terms, they might very much accept your offer.

When you see your friends sinking, you don’t want to lose them. One could say that it is ideal to pad yourself with knowledge, figuring out ways to get them out of the water. In cases like these, you can research further on what surrounds this person’s depression.

For example, if your friend is depressed and is also possibly suicidal, perhaps you can gently direct them to call their local crisis support service. If they’re unable to do so, you can potentially try out your local crisis services and strategize some other ways to help them get the help that they need.

The other day, I stumbled upon the Warning Signs of Suicide by the National Institute for Mental Health, which is applicable to the United States. Further research may show you which mental health and crisis support services are applicable to your city, state, province, or even country.

If suicide is thrown into the equation, it might be better to err on the side of caution, where your friend dislikes you for saving their life — I mean, this is your close friend. It’s either saving their life versus losing them forever.

No one wants to lose their best friend.

As an aspiring therapist, I would say that these are some of the things that you can potentially look out for:

• Seeing them sad and down almost all the time, even during the times where they used to be usually happy
• Finding them more irritable, defensive, and angrier than usual
• Withdrawing themselves from their family and friends, while staying in their bed for many hours at a time

While this list is not exhaustive, I think these are the things that are the most noticeable. I mean, it’s not exactly easy to see depression, as everyone may have varying expressions of it.

In either case, listen to your gut. If the tables were turned, your greatest friends will help lift you up.

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