Logically, Creative Resistance Makes No Sense

The external world doesn’t have to interfere with your art

I finally started composing this year. I also started writing a few fictional series. Both are immensely rewarding but also more challenging than what I’m used to (poetry and blogging).

I’m glad I decided to start and push past the mental hurdles, but I’m also mad at myself for waiting until 2022.

From a stranger’s perspective, I’m probably crazy and delusional for attempting to be a multi-hyphenate. To be fair, they would be right.

However, the desire to get decently good at multiple endeavors has never gone away. I want my poems to stand out and have a signature style that evokes the essence of my literary and musical heroes while still being refreshingly new and different from anything that’s trending right now. And in a few years, I want to bring my fiction writing and music to that level as well.

But with a bigger vision comes incredible doubts. And a huge block of resistance.

Every day I’m reminded of how small I am. How insignificant I am. How mediocre I am in comparison to so many people, both externally and internally. I see how long and arduous the path would be since the artistic ideals I aspire to are incredibly difficult to reach.

There is always a voice in my head, telling me that giving up is the most pragmatic option, the most reasonable one. No one would care.

I could just accept that no matter what I try and no matter how passionate I can be, someone else will always be more successful, more talented, and more prolific than me. I could just accept that my actions would still lead to nowhere.

But is this the right choice for me?

The answer is obvious. So why am I not allowing myself to believe it?

Deep in my heart, I’ve always believed that you do not need to be particularly extraordinary or have extreme measures of outward success to allow yourself to create whatever you need to get through the day.

But even with this strong belief, an equally strong force of resistance leaves me emotionally paralyzed and conflicted.

On one hand, I truly believe that intrinsic motivation should be powerful enough to carry me through and it shouldn’t matter if people think I’m just average at every creative pursuit I try.

It shouldn’t matter if people think I’m moving too slowly. It shouldn’t matter if I don’t achieve anything grand as long as I’m letting myself enjoy the process. Nothing external should prevent me from finding my voice and artistic style that’s impossible to copy. Even if it’s only appreciated by a few people, it’s still better than not trying at all.

But on the other hand, I know how tough the world can be, especially since artists are seen as “useless” and “untalented” until they reach the point where they’ve made it big. Apparently, in our insatiable algorithm-driven culture, your creative work only means something if you can amass a huge following. If you can’t, it just means you don’t have enough talent and you didn’t put in enough effort — and it’s all your fault that you don’t cater to the lowest common denominator to gain Internet fame.

I know it shouldn’t bother me because I don’t care about quick fixes or popularity. However, I can’t help but think that this pervasive belief in the digital world insinuates that I am less productive, less creative, and less aware of what people want because I don’t cater to the same audience as the people with a massive following.

This is the unfortunate result of hustle culture. I’m a stubborn idealist at heart, so nothing can persuade me that it’s okay to be dismissive of artists for their lack of virality.

So many talented people in this world never get their big break — that’s just the harsh truth we have to accept. Or perhaps some have reached a modest level of success and are celebrated by a small circle of loyal fans in a niche that the general population will never appreciate. These outcomes don’t make them less hard-working, less persistent, or less talented than those who are globally known.

Using your art to add more beauty, depth, and understanding to a broken world is commendable, regardless of how people make snap judgments of you based on your metrics and status in society.

Conquering internal resistance one little step at a time is more worthwhile than letting it defeat you and giving you a long list of reasons why you are not worthy of attempting anything creative.

Artistic individuality, especially when formulaic conformity is constantly suffocating you and gaslighting you into thinking you are worse than you actually are, is an ideal that is worth defending. It is a beautiful force that cuts through the lies that hold you back and emboldens you to trust yourself.

I’m at the point where I’m hyper-aware of what’s stopping me on an external level and what beliefs I hold that can counteract those things, using logic and reason.

I may not win against resistance all the time, but at least I can stand back and dispel whatever myths the external world is presenting to me at any given moment.

Someone not liking my work doesn’t mean that the work itself is objectively bad. It could appeal to another person with an entirely different opinion.

Not being the best doesn’t automatically mean I’m the worst. Not being in the top 10% in any creative lane doesn’t mean I’m innately talentless.

There are already too many people following the same formulaic things for clout. Listening to my creative instincts will help me stand out in a good way, no matter how few people value it.

I’d still create and explore my literary, musical, and artistic interests until I die, even if everyone thought I was going nowhere and had no potential at all. I mean, I have been doing that anyway — albeit sporadically and imperfectly — but it’s still better than nothing.

The truth is, I will always be mediocre in someone’s eyes. So what? The fear of being average doesn’t have to control my every move. I don’t have to be afraid of messing up because other creators have proven that you don’t have to be a rare genius or meet unrealistic expectations to let yourself create.

What matters is growth. And persevering with what you have instead of lamenting what you lack. And pursuing what feels most compelling to you.

How can the alternative be any better?