avatarSuma Narayan

Summary

The author reflects on the beauty of living spaces, the importance of personal boundaries, and the dynamics of living separately from adult children while visiting them in a different country.

Abstract

The author describes a serene morning in Flagstaff Gardens, where the dance of leaves and the company of ancient trees evoke a sense of connection and nostalgia. The narrative touches on the author's decision to maintain separate living spaces from their adult children during an extended visit to Australia, contrasting this choice with traditional Indian family structures. The author values personal space and independence, believing that it benefits both generations to live separately. The article invites readers to share their perspectives on the matter and acknowledges the beauty and complexity of life's choices, such as the joy of meeting one's children and the need for personal space.

Opinions

  • The author appreciates the beauty of nature and its ability to connect one to distant memories and loved ones.
  • There is a belief that maintaining separate living spaces from adult children respects personal boundaries and is beneficial for family relationships.
  • The author faces some criticism from relatives for not adhering to the traditional Indian practice of multigenerational living arrangements.
  • The article suggests that the decision to live separately is a personal choice that should be respected, reflecting a modern and perhaps more Western approach to family dynamics.
  • The author is open to feedback and seeks to engage with other writers and readers on the topic, indicating a desire for dialogue and diverse perspectives.

Living Spaces

Personal Essay

Photo by Anna C. on Unsplash

The breeze was bracing and it stirred the leaves of the elms, oaks, and the Moreton bay figs into a genteel dance. I touched the scarred trunks of the River Red Gums as I passed by them. I told them I was far from home: and asked them to send a message to my trees back home — the Gulmohar, the mango, and the laburnum — that they were still, and always, a part of my heart, wherever my feet and my fancy took me.

That early in the morning, there were not many people in Flagstaff Gardens. The broad swathes of tarred walkways, the wide, wide sweep of ancient tree trunks, the cheerful chirps, whistles, twitters, and cheeps of birds I have yet to know the names of, lent the atmosphere magic that I was glad to be part of. Being tropical creatures, both of us burrowed deeper into our hoodies, as we breathed in the freshness of the morning. It is summer Down Under and we welcomed the touch of cold before the raging heat of the day began.

There are beautiful things happening in life, I thought, as I superstitiously touched living, breathing wood. We get to meet our sons when we want to, and our two-year-old Diva, Anya. Yet, we have decided that we won’t stay with them, but separately. We value our space as much as they do theirs, and it is not fair for either family to encroach on each other’s spaces.

This is not the Indian way: and I faced some banter when I told some of my relatives that we would have a separate establishment. “Why do you want to go there, then?” I was asked bluntly by some of them. Thankfully, my husband, too, feels that it is an encroachment of personal spaces if we insisted on staying together. I could have: many Indian parents do. But since we are looking at a longer stay this time, I thought we should stay separately.

I know that the jury is out on this one: but what do you feel is the right course of action? Would you prefer staying with your children, or separately? Do let me know in the ‘comments’ section. Tagging a few writers here for feedback and opinions and anyone else who would care to join in: Sandra Ravyne Hawke Sujona Chatterjee Patsy Fergusson KSHernandez Monoreena Acharjee Majumdar Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Parvathy Omanakuttan Suja Sukumar Kannan Natesan Margie Willis Somsubhra Banerjee Tamil Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她) Dr. Preeti Singh Neera Handa Dr TzeLin Sam Umme Salma Shanice Lawton Carolyn Hastings Jane Frost (Jane Grows Garden Rooms) I. Trudie Palmer

Thank you for reading.

©️ 2022 Suma Narayan. All Rights Reserved.

Tagging three wonderful pieces of writing by veteran writers with magic in their words and the flair they use them with:

Family
Garden
Melbourne
Personal Essay
Relationships
Recommended from ReadMedium
avatarremi ;༊
the art of disappearing

Summer Strike (2022)

2 min read
avatarDevon Price
Laziness Does Not Exist

Psychological research is clear: when people procrastinate, there's usually a good reason

11 min read
avatarMukundarajan V N
Why Grief Never Goes Away

The pain of loss can subside, but does not disappear entirely because it’s unrequited love

3 min read
avatarMelissa Rock
Small Efforts to Slow Climate Change

I’ll share my secrets if you share yours

6 min read
avatarMichelle Scorziello
When You Are the One with the Accent

As soon as you open your mouth, you stand out

4 min read
avatarodawni
Suicide is About Wanting to Live

The Paradox of Suicidal Thinking

3 min read