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ne with the Elvis impersonator? They cost the taxpayer an arm and a leg so I’d like to cash them in please mate.</p><p id="b8e1"><b><i>How good are Luau’s?</i></b></p><p id="8601">That’s about it Santa for this year, I don’t want to be too greedy, and sorry I had to send this to you via Social Media, but since I sacked that horrible woman from Australia Post and put my mate in her place, things just haven’t been the same in the mailroom, I don’t know why, but apparently people don’t want to do the same work for less money.</p><p id="9a00">Do you pay your elves Santa, and do they ever give you the same grief? These people should be thankful they have a job in the first place.</p><p id="b435"><b><i>And what’s with these women who think they run the joint, seriously Santa, I’ve had enough of them too!</i></b></p><p id="395b">Anyway, I’ll make sure Jen leaves a can of Tooheys out for you Santa, and a carrot for the girls, thanks again, you’re the best!</p><p id="938b">Your pal,</p><p id="8d03">Scomo</p><p id="849e">PS sorry Santa, I forgot — <b><i>have you got any nuclear submarines?</i></b></p><p id="88a4">*Scott Morrison (Scomo) is the 30th Prime Minister of Australia, a pathological liar, and a master of do-nothing politics. You’ll find him on Christmas Day in a pentecostal church somewhere with his hands on some random person gibbering incoherently, or looting the collection box on the sly.</p><div id="462a" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-australian-way-according-to-australian-pm-scott-morrison-83d39f77c307"> <div> <div> <h2>The Australian Way according to Australian PM Scott Morrison</h2> <div><h3>(or how to embarrass yourself on the world stage without even trying).</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*oExVHBjvMPhsgYAm)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="15ad" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/scott-morrison-a-haiku-number-two-dc028d33ee40"> <div> <div> <h2>Scott Morrison, a Haiku. Number Two.</h2>

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Little Scotty Morrison’s Xmas List

I have been a very good boy Santa!

Hey Santa! (pic by Megaphone)

G’day Santa,

It’s me, your mate, Scomo!

How good is Christmas!

Sorry, this is a bit late Santa but I’ve been dealing with a few things and well they wouldn’t let me go on holiday this year so here’s my list.

Santa, you know that to get a go, you have to have a go, and I have had a real go this year — you know I’ve been a very good boy, so I’m hoping you will deliver!

Here’s my list:

  1. A hat and some sunscreen!

Santa, my girls told me that at their school they have a “No Hat No Play” policy, and apparently the teachers force them to put a hat and sunscreen on, or they can’t go outside and play.

Do you think that would work with Covid, Santa?

2. 20,000,000 covid booster shots.

Me and Hunty forgot to order them and people are starting to twig — if not under the tree at my place, do you reckon you could drop them off at the Royal Prince Alfred in Sydney mate, NSW is the gold standard, after all, thanks Santa.

Don’t need masks though, Santa, so you’ll save some room there in the sleigh.

3. A new hose.

Some bugger keeps stealing mine.

4. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (Directors Cut).

You and I both know it’s the greatest movie ever made Santa, but I need to convince my girls — shake and bake baby, shake and bake!

I know it’s not a race, but if you’re not first you’re last.

Am I right Santa, am I right?

5. 7 days in Hawaii for me and the girls.

The ungrateful bastards made us come home early last time Santa, and we’ve still got tickets to the Luau at Kapolei, you know the one with the Elvis impersonator? They cost the taxpayer an arm and a leg so I’d like to cash them in please mate.

How good are Luau’s?

That’s about it Santa for this year, I don’t want to be too greedy, and sorry I had to send this to you via Social Media, but since I sacked that horrible woman from Australia Post and put my mate in her place, things just haven’t been the same in the mailroom, I don’t know why, but apparently people don’t want to do the same work for less money.

Do you pay your elves Santa, and do they ever give you the same grief? These people should be thankful they have a job in the first place.

And what’s with these women who think they run the joint, seriously Santa, I’ve had enough of them too!

Anyway, I’ll make sure Jen leaves a can of Tooheys out for you Santa, and a carrot for the girls, thanks again, you’re the best!

Your pal,

Scomo

PS sorry Santa, I forgot — have you got any nuclear submarines?

*Scott Morrison (Scomo) is the 30th Prime Minister of Australia, a pathological liar, and a master of do-nothing politics. You’ll find him on Christmas Day in a pentecostal church somewhere with his hands on some random person gibbering incoherently, or looting the collection box on the sly.

Scott Morrison
Australian Politics
Santa Claus
Christmas
Covid-19
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