Listening to the Voice of Fear

And its immense wisdom

Today I felt this small, nagging fear — right in my solar plexus.

It was so unexpected and is so rare, it caught my attention. I almost never feel fear anymore.

Extracting most of my trauma from my physical and energetic bodies, has allowed me to connect deeply to myself. That connection creates internal abundance — which is the antithesis of fear. My nervous system runs on the energy of love.

So what was this fear?

Interestingly, I’d felt a fear or resistance earlier this month — in the exact same spot.

I left my medical practice years ago, and other than some time doing telemedicine and as a camp doctor, haven’t used my license since. That said, every year I go through the effort to keep myself current and maintain my credentials. This year that required 30 hours of continuing medical education for my license and additional work for two of my three board certifications.

That kind of work doesn’t light me up like my current work does, but I do like having a current knowledge-base.

The final piece of this medical stuff was renewing (or not) my DEA license. Now the DEA is only used for prescribing controlled substances. I have no need for one. It’s expensive to renew. The obvious choice was to retire mine. It only takes 4–6 weeks to get a new one, should I decide that is necessary.

Back in October, I emailed them to find out how to retire it. They responded right away.

The rise of my resistance

Days went by, then weeks, then months. At the beginning of December, I thought I need to get that off my to-do list, to set down one of the 30 balls I had in the air. I probably had that thought 100 different times on 15 different days.

Around the middle of the month, I decided to really be present with my resistance. Obviously, something was preventing me from doing this simple 2-minute task. I felt a huge amount of grief, of loss. It was like letting go of the dream I had of practicing as a doctor — a dream I consciously and willingly chose to let go of four years ago. A part of me hadn’t. That part was still attached to the dream.

Over the past several years, I’ve learned to avoid expectations and attachment to outcome. This isn’t a doom and gloom kind of approach. It’s the opposite. I find that when I let go of all expectations and attachment to any outcome, the outcome far surpasses anything I could have dreamt. I didn’t learn this until I was 43. I didn’t embody it until years later.

The part of me that attached to that dream at age 20 healed that day.

Yet, I still didn’t retire the stinking DEA. It felt like I was Cortés, burning my boat. I kept waiting for the time to feel right — like energetic closure. That time didn’t come. The day before it expired, I checked in with myself. There wasn’t any fear. There wasn’t any resistance. It was simply an item on my to-do list. I retired the number.

Fast forward to today

Today I felt that resistance again, not about the DEA this time, about something far more important.

I left the practice of medicine because the work I do on the energy body, extracting trauma and facilitating healing, is far more impactful than anything I ever did as a physician on the nation’s Best Doctors™ list.

I love this work. My clients love this work. Some have had extraordinary results — resolving asthma, 22 years of hip pain, and more. Some have gone from narcissistic victim of decades having just found out their spouse was cheating, to calm, clear, connected to their truest self, divorced, in a new forever relationship without baggage, with more money, deeper family relationships, better health, and an amazing outlook on life — in just six months. How could I not love this work?

Anyway, I work with a handful of clients in an intensive one-on-one fashion. It’s high touch. They text me when they feel anxious, can’t sleep, are coming down with something, or have a headache. I make an energetic adjustment and their symptoms are gone within minutes. I align and clear their energetic field daily. The forward progress is astounding. The one-on-one sessions are icing on the cake.

Not everyone is willing or able to invest in that service — AND I want to be of service to more than five people. So, last month I started doing group trauma extraction/healing sessions every Monday morning. Not only are participants anonymous (great for narcissist victims), but the sessions are at a significantly lower investment, without any commitment. People may come once, every week, or anything in between.

I also decided to make the first Monday of every month complimentary to my community. This isn’t a marketing ploy. I have no expectation or attachment that people want to come back and pay for future sessions, though I know some will. I am perfectly okay with people only participating in the free session each and every month. The simple truth is, I want to help everyone heal their wounds — if they desire.

Here’s where it gets interesting

I’ve been sending a newsletter to my community on Wednesdays and mentioned this First Monday opportunity. Yesterday, I felt an impulse to send a specific invitation, in case my offer was missed, in case the email was missed, in case someone needed a reminder.

I planned to do it yesterday but didn’t. There was that resistance again. I planned to do it first thing this morning but didn’t. Resistance.

It was so odd. I love doing these sessions. I love the opportunity to serve. I’d love to have 100 people on the call tomorrow. Why the resistance?

I had several things to do, but really wanted to meditate. My amazing husband said, “Meditate.” I settled in with one of my favorite Lemurians and dropped into the resistance.

It was fascinating.

The wisdom worth hearing

That resistance was fear. Fear that new people wouldn’t understand the session. As a first timer, it’s not what anyone expects. Me visible on screen, saying very few words, pulling trauma out energetically. My clients love it. People who want to be clients love it. The fear was of stretching my wings, of revealing my work more broadly to people not familiar with me or this work. My fear was people wouldn’t get it, wouldn’t get me, wouldn’t allow themselves to receive the benefits.

That fear was attached to an outcome.

My meditation was illuminating. I felt that fear and I KNEW it was not mine. It was a remnant of fear that once was, a fear that was needed no more. I extracted it fully.

The time had come to let it go, to let go of any residual expectations, to burn that ship.

I sent the email invitation.

And if you’re on my email list, I hope to see you tomorrow.

Disclaimer: This answer is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.

Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a trauma and covert narcissistic abuse expert who helps high-impact women break free from the longstanding after effects of narcissistic abuse. Download her free risk-assessment guide, 3 Hidden Financial Risks Every High Income Woman MUST Avoid While Coparenting with a Covert Narcissist and find information on working with her on her website.

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