avatarDesiree Peralta


Life Hack: Unfollow Friends in Real Life if They Don’t Add Value

You will be happier if you don’t keep people around with toxic behaviors that harm your peace.

Photo by Trần Long

Many people come into your life and become a light. They help you with your current problems, cheer you up when you are sad, and motivate you to be better.

I have friends that I know that I just need to call them so that my mood changes and I become happier.

However, there are other people you meet under specific circumstances that made you have them around, not by choice, but because life put you there.

They can be co-workers, college friends, roommates, neighbors, or new relationships that have some of your friends or family.

Those people are there because the circumstances of your life made you be their friend, but not because you really decided it. And while some of them can be an extraordinary coincidence, others could become so toxic that they make you lose your state of peace and balance.

Many people feel that they must maintain a friendship out of commitment. Either because of the time they have with her, because they are close to the family, or because they have to see them every day and do not want to create an uncomfortable situation.

But if someone is hurting you or disturbing your peace, there is no point in having them in your life. It doesn’t matter how “obliged” you feel to support that person.

If you have that kind of people around you, I have a hack I have been using and have been working on so far: unfollow them in real life.

You should be able to unfollow people from your life if they take away your peace.

One day, while scrolling through my Instagram feed, I realized I had followed many people who made the experience of using this app unsatisfactory.

I followed news accounts that posted tragic content, I had clickbait platforms that uploaded inappropriate photos, and I had unstable friends who uploaded things that didn’t bring me peace.

So I decided to clean it.

I unfollowed everyone who didn’t bring me peace there and instantly started having a more positive experience with this app.

So I asked myself, what if I could do this in real life? What if I could just press a button and all the toxic people around me are not there anymore?

After thinking about it for a while, I realized I could create a similar experience. I just had to stop looking for them, not talk to them all day, and not let them be part of my life.

I did this with one of my childhood friends because she got a new boyfriend, and our friendship became toxic because “he didn’t like the influence I had over my friend.” Even though she didn’t want to simply stop talking to me, she made everything possible to stay away from me, so our conversations were toxic, and it was hurting me a lot.

I talked to her and told her I needed a break from our friendship, that I loved her, and that I would be there if there was an emergency and she needed me, but that I no longer wanted to maintain a friendship that didn’t reciprocate the effort I was giving.

At first I was very sad, but then I felt relieved. I didn’t have mood swings just from talking to one person, and my circle became only a positive and safe environment.

And you know what’s the best part? You can add them again if they change.

Many people decide not to cut anyone out of their lives because they feel sad about losing such a long friendship, even though it hurts them. Others don’t do it because they have a lot of love for them.

But no change in your life has to be permanent.

It could be just until that person becomes a positive influence for you again. It could be until you scroll down to their life and feel happy again to hear their updates.

When you unfollow someone from your social media, that platform doesn’t force you to block him or her forever. There is a button to follow them again instantly so you can have them in your life again.

I have friends who have sought me out after a while and asked me how we could improve our relationship again after reflecting. I have told them everything that affected me, and we have agreed to change for the better.

So if you feel that you need that person again in your life, and you know they have changed or sense it could be a good experience again to know about them, reach out to them.

But what happens if that person doesn’t want to be in your life anymore because you cut them from your life the first time?

Then you made the right decision the first time by cutting them.

People who really care about you will understand why you needed a break the first time and will wait for you with open arms when you feel you want them in your life again.

But those who are selfish and only care about their well-being and what you represented for them would be the ones who will resent you over your decisions.

So be in peace to have them away from you.

You should be able to unfollow people in real life if they are not adding any value to your growth or happiness.

You deserve to have people around who are truly happy to see you improve, and toxic people are better away no matter how much time you two have been friends or how much you love them.

When you have only the people you can feel at peace and comfortable around you, you become happier.

No healthy friend makes you change your mood for the worse, even if you love them very much.

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Self Improvement
Personal Development
Life Lessons
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