Life After No Contact with a Narcissist

An Introspective Path to Healing

To leave or not to leave, that is the question.

Well, it was the question, until we decided to leave the narcissist. This article will address three benefits which occur after leaving a narcissistic relationship.

Cognitive Dissonance Starts to Clear

Cognitive Dissonance occurs when there are incongruencies between thoughts and behaviors. It occurs in a relationship with a narcissist, since the narcissist is keen to verbalize an action or feeling, but fails to perform consistently to the words spoken.

As we spend time to heal from a destructive relationship, we may start to have moments of clarity as the layers of the onion start to fall off. We may start to see the relationship from a new perspective and the layers of cognitive dissonance start to dissipate.

As our mind gains clarity AND we have been removed from the relationship, we may start to see the following:

· Lies (See: Top Lies a Narcissist Tells/How to See Through the Mask)that we didn’t see, when we were knee-deep in the relationship.

· Tactics (Related: Why It’s Exhausting to Be with a Narcissist) that were creatively and deliberately used against us.

· Incongruencies in behavior that did not match words chronically.

We start to gain a new understanding of the relationship, and our mind starts to do a mental shift as we come to terms with the toxicity of the past relationship. While in the relationship, the cognitive dissonance was so thick, it kept us from having consistent clarity.

We can see what we never saw before — because we were enmeshed in the situation. We might have ‘holy-moly’ moments as we evaluate from a new perspective

As we work through the layers of cognitive dissonance, we can continue to find our truth.

You May Start to See Toxicity in Other Areas of your Life

Leaving a narcissist is one thing, and healing from it is a unique path. And while the path is often not linear, the healing journey often surfaces evaluation in other areas of life, not previously reviewed.

One situation that may occur after leaving a toxic relationship is connecting similar patterns to other established relationships. There may be similar toxic behaviors from our close friends and/or extended family that we may have not seen before. (See: Was I Conditioned by Family of Origin to Have a Relationship with a Narcissist).

The Mind Can Begin to Heal

Whoever said you cannot heal in the same environment (as when the abuse occurred), was spot on.

In order to heal and recover, it takes moving to another location and/or environment. It’s important to build a safe place, where the processing of events, can begin.

In addition, as the healing journey continues, it’s wise to do the following:

· Connect with those you can trust and who understand your situation(therapists, counselors, coaches) so you can process events and gain perspective, healing and understanding.

· Rebuild a Support Network

· Realize the Healing Path is Not Linear

The path to healing and recovering after a relationship is not easy. It takes time and introspection to go deep into our lives and to be willing to explore areas that we may have not ventured to explore previously.

It’s an interesting path, one that we may be grateful for in years to come, as when we heal from the toxicity it opens the doors to new situations and opportunities.

Thank you for reading!

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