MENTAL HEALTH
Let’s Understand What ADHD People Are Going Through
Too many myths about ADHD abound
There are so many myths and misconceptions about ADHD that I don’t know where to start! This is often the barrier to realizing what people with ADHD are going through. Read on to discover what they have to bear and how we can understand them better.
Only boys have ADHD and anyway, it’s not a real medical condition. It’s just made up so that Big Pharm can make millions selling drugs to “cure” it. You hear these myths and lots of others. You know, these kids are not trying hard enough and all they need to do is focus better. Just a few of the host of lies which make life for those with this condition even more unbearable.
People with ADHD have a lot to put up with but they have many hidden talents which are rarely talked about.
Let’s look at the sentiments, emotions, and feelings that ADHD people are going through. When we can understand these a bit better, we can easily help them.
They feel shunned
Because ADHD sufferers have issues with impulsive behavior, they’re often sidelined. Add in the problems with inattention and hyperactivity and you can see why social interaction can be challenging.
Parents and carers can help kids by practicing social situations with role-playing. They can also be helped to learn to share and take turns by playing together with them.
Adults with ADHD often feel sidelined because they just can’t stay on topic nor pay attention for a long time. We can help them by suggesting that they can avoid multitasking (that applies to most of us!) and also help them to focus on one task and power down on it for a set time — say 30 minutes. I know several people with ADHD who seem to thrive on multitasking but the truth is a bit more complicated as outlined in this article here.
They feel dejected
As they don’t adhere to the normal social rules, they can often talk too much or too loudly. They can feel dejected because people remind them with impatient remarks such as:-
“I just told you that, don’t you remember?”
It is a pity that people have to insist on following the rules of social discourse all the time. It is not an exam! When this happens often, people with ADHD tend to develop lower self-esteem.
They need our love and support
Once we understand what ADHD is all about, we can concentrate on the advantages of ADHD. When we think that their hyperfocus and creativity are enviable traits, we should concentrate on these and encourage them with our love and support.
In many cases when the negatives are no big deal, we should be there to help them overcome the ones that can interfere with their academic performance.
This can only happen when parents and friends are well informed and up to speed with what is going on in the ADHD brain.
Their hyperfocus can be excellent
Watch the video here where Stephen Tonti who has ADHD describes how all the distraction and fidgeting can disappear when his curiosity is aroused and hyperfocus sets in.
“ I have a hard time doing the mundane things in life. I have an easier time planning a 20 aircraft fleet than I do paying my light bill.” — David Neeleman, CEO and founder of JetBlue who has ADHD.
Once they are in the zone, there is no stopping people with ADHD. The only problem is trying to get them to stop or move on to another task!
They love a well-structured routine
Distraction and impulsivity can really get in the way when ADHD sufferers are trying to get things done. We can help them a lot by giving them a well-structured routine. It’s true that they’ll have a sort of love/hate relationship with routine. Visual cues, drawings, checklists, and activities which are timed can also be a great help.
Frustration sets in
We live in a society where tidiness, punctuality, and precision are highly prized. Each of these qualities is a giant task for a person with ADHD so this can lead to them feeling frustrated. This is because it’s going to take a very long time. The following description of a person with ADHD trying to get through a task is an eye-opener.
“Now you’ve lost track of the first person and begin to feel panic. You start looking for the first people in order to recollect their information, but you can’t because you’re still collecting from the others. Now every bit of information that breaks through the hum carries the same weight. There is no way to distinguish what is most important. You try to start over, but you’ve already forgotten much of the first bits you’ve collected. It’s a losing battle and eventually you give up on that task and berate yourself for failing.” — An adult with ADHD.
Success stories are always an inspiration
Lots of people thrive on ADHD in spite of the drawbacks. They’ve drawn on and exploited their creativity, and focus to a stunning degree. People with ADHD are inspired by people like Ty Pennington, Will Smith, and Michael Phelps who have been brilliantly successful. We should always mention these when encouraging our own family and friends who are struggling with this disorder. You can read about these success stories here.
Their filters are just not working
We can all erase distractions and unwanted noise through a system of filters we always use, for example when we answer a phone call on a crowded train. A person with ADHD has no filters like these. They feel overwhelmed by the noise and movements around them. They take in everything at once and they can’t put them in any order of relevance or importance.
They would love to have an off button where they could concentrate on one thing at a time.
Final Thoughts
It’s a sad fact that many people with ADHD will try to hide their condition because they know that there’s still a stigma attached to this disorder. Many never come out at work because they know there’s a certain risk. If they have a sympathetic boss or coworkers, that would make it much easier. ADHD is said to affect about 4.4% of the adult population in the USA.
A great way to help someone who may suspect they or their children have ADHD is to encourage them to get a proper test, seek treatment and counseling.
You might like to read my other articles on ADHD -