Sex Education

Let’s Talk About a Cock in My Ass…

Sex Matters: Candid advice about anal sex

I must admit that I have been told I do have a rather tight hole. I teeter on the tightrope of pleasure and pain as he enters me anally

Unrealistic Porn

This is one of the areas where I think porn is at its most misleading. I realise the actresses have probably been well “warmed up”. But the way the man just thrusts straight into her welcoming bottom until his balls slap against her, just strikes me as so very unrealistic. This would be more likely to make me scream and try and run away

So here are a collection of my thoughts, suggestions (I am cautious not to say advice, as I do not claim to be an expert), and experiences — which I hope might help you along the way!

Trust

Okay, I know trust is important whatever sex you are having. But personally, I need to trust a guy more before letting him enter me anally. I feel there is a lot more scope for him to hurt me, and I need him to be sensitive to what works for me. Talk about it first — agree boundaries, know that he will stop if you want him to — all that good stuff.

To lube or not to lube — that is the question?

The standard answer here is yes, yes, yes — lots of lube.

And if you are new to anal play, then absolutely, I would recommend a good application to his cock and to your hole. It really does make it slide in much more easily.

Once you are a little more confident in what you are doing, then it becomes more of a matter of personal choice. My Dom loves the feel of entering me without any lube, feeling how tight I am around him, the way it forces his foreskin back, tugs on it — so often we will go without lube to give him that pleasure.

Please enter slowly

When he first enters me anally during a play session, I need him to go slow, I need him to pause and let me breathe and cope and adjust to the stretch he is causing. Even then I am likely to cry out and whimper and quite possibly scream.

Once he is fully in and my body has adapted to the size of him filling me, then the pain turns to pleasure, and I start to really enjoy it. Then he can properly start to use me.

Sometimes when he is entering me for the first time or if he has already used my arse lots, and I am getting sore, he will give me my clit vibe and let me use that at the same time. For me, it really helps to balance the pain with exquisite pleasure. On occasion, I might “forget” to take it off even once he is fully in!

Positions

So, I think the obvious ones are doggie style or standing and bent over. And both work for me, but they aren’t my favourites. I have two favourite positions for anal.

The first is on our sides — envisage him lying behind me in a spooning position. It is a position that lends itself to some teasing, I can start to push my arse cheeks back towards him, he can rub his cock against them…. It may take a little more patience for him to get inside me in this position. But, and this is a big but for me. The huge benefit is the intimacy of this position. He can hold me in his arms the whole time. Yes, it may feel painful as he enters me, but I feel like he is protecting me and keeping me safe at the same time. So, if I feel the need for my Dom to look after me as he uses my arsehole, this is definitely the position I would choose

And, I think this position is great for 5 a.m. anal, when you both wake up slightly sleepy but horny as well. Afterwards you can fall back asleep, still in his arms, with his cock softening in your arse

The second is somewhat more intense. This isn’t cuddly anal; this is my Dom really using me. He lays me down, on my front, across the bed. Generally, he will put a pillow under my hips to tilt them and make it easier to enter me. It is a deliciously comfortable position, just laying on the bed — and sometimes I want that, I just want to focus on every amazing sensation he is causing.

But this is also a position which gives him complete control, which is something I love.

But it needs to be done with someone who knows your body well and will respect what works for you.

To douche or not to douche — that is another question?

So, we all know sex generally can get messy — and honestly, one thing I expect in a partner is that we can both just deal with that — and anal sex is no exception. A lover once said to me,

“If you play with fire, occasionally you will get burnt!”

Personally, on most occasions I don’t think there is a need to douche, but if you want to be spotlessly clean then it can be worthwhile. You can buy a fairly inexpensive douche from most sex shops and use it on yourself before meeting your lover.

However, my Dom likes to use the douche on me himself! Those of you who have read some of my other blogs will know my penchant for some humiliation, and this strongly plays to this kink. It also ticks all the control boxes for him.

I have to bend over for him, he will then fill the douche and insert the small tube into my anus so he can squeeze the water in. He will then make me wait, sometimes playing with my clit in the interim, before he permits me to then empty myself either in the toilet or the shower while he watches. He will repeat as required until he is satisfied I am perfectly clean.

Then he will decide whether he wants to eat my arse or penetrate it with his thick cock.

Toys

Okay, I admit it, I love anal toys.

I think my butt plug is beautiful — it is metal with a gorgeous clear jewel on the end. I love it. It is not huge, but definitely a stretch to get the widest part in, then it feels wonderfully heavy and filling once in place.

Often my Dom will ask me to turn up to meet him with it already in place — as well as being thrilling in itself, this is also a good warm up for when I then need to take his cock in that hole.

This is my second butt plug, and the first one I had was a little smaller. If you are buying a first butt plug, start with a beginner one! I had a cute little pink one, which was very good training.

My Dom also has one which is just scary — it is a vast mass of black rubber and even with persistence and huge quantities of lube, I still can’t get anywhere close to taking it — and am not sure if I really want to. Him trying to use it on me is saved for punishment territory.

Double penetration

Call me greedy, but there is something just wow about having a cock in your pussy and a cock in your arse at the same time.

One of the toys my Dom and I like to use is a cock ring with a dildo attachment. He slides it on and can then penetrate both of my holes. The dildo is not as thick as his cock, so I generally prefer the dildo in my arse, but he usually goes for the other way round!

I love the feeling. Every thrust, every movement just increasing that sense of fullness

More advanced toys

I have written a whole other blog of my anal hook and the opportunities for predicament bondage — but to give you a tiny taster…

One of the key elements to using an anal hook is for predicament bondage. With the rope linking from the end of the hook to the base of my ponytail, I am in a tricky predicament, I am forced to keep my back arched and my head raised, which becomes increasingly uncomfortable. But, if I relax my posture or drop my head, then that pulls on the rope and forces the ball on the other end of the hook deeper into my anus. And when my Dom starts to punish me or pleasure me in this position, staying still becomes even harder to achieve. So, you see, a tricky, but very arousing, predicament.

Orgasms

There is something rather incredible about orgasms from anal play. Okay, pretty much all orgasms are incredible, I love them. But there is an extra intensity to an orgasm triggered while having my arsehole stuffed with cock.

My pussy usually squirts when I cum and it quite mind-blowing as my pussy responds in that way. I can have no clit or pussy stimulation but him pounding my little arsehole, causes that squirting sensation — and that usually has me screaming with pleasure.

The Bottom Line (I know, a terrible pun, but I could not resist)

I would encourage you to experiment with anal play with a caring and considerate partner.

My Dom may use me as his fucktoy, but I know he cares about me and my pleasure. Relax, take it slow and enjoy the pleasures it can bring…