Let’s (Not) Talk About Sex, Baby: The #1 Bedroom Red Flag that Could Signal Disaster

Warning: this red flag could be the reason you need to walk away from a relationship now.

Let’s talk about sex, baby

Let’s talk about you and me

Let’s talk about all the good things

And the bad things that may be

— Salt-N-Pepa

#1 Bedroom Red Flag that Could Signal Disaster for Your Relationship

Whether you are exploring a new relationship, have been dating someone for 15 weeks, or have been married for 15 years, there’s one mega red flag you absolutely can’t overlook.

Are you ready for it?

The #1 red flag that could signal disaster for your relationship is he/she/they can’t talk about sex — or they avoid talking about it.

If your partner or love interest is not comfortable talking about sex, this is a major red flag. It could signal disaster for the long-term viability and health of your relationship.

A healthy relationship involves open, honest, and vulnerable conversations. If you’re with someone who can’t talk about sex or resists talking about the subject, take this as a big neon warning sign.

Sure, people have differing degrees of comfort talking about sex. Just because someone gets flustered or blushes talking about sex, doesn’t mean it’s an automatic red relationship flag. Perhaps it’s a yellow flag, which may or may not be a deal-breaker, especially if they seem to be open communicators with other vulnerable conversations, and if they generally seem interested in becoming more comfortable with sex talk.

However, if the person you’re involved with struggles to talk about sex like an adult, it’s probably a tell-tale reflection of their maturity — errr immaturity — and their ability to confidently open up and communicate.

But wait, they mention sex sometimes…

Just because someone can put the moves on, slide into your DMs and say flirty things, mention sex, or talk superficially about sex, such as saying things like hey, I want to f*ck you or I love your body, it doesn’t mean that they are actually comfortable talking about sex.

If they can’t talk about body parts, genitals, fluids, their needs, desires, curiosities, pay attention.

If they avoid sex talk, get visibility uncomfortable, or cringe when you mention words by their Webster dictionary names, like penis or vagina, don’t brush it off. Don’t try to justify their discomfort or downplay it.

If they seem uncomfortable when you talk about your needs, desires, or kinks, take this as a warning sign.

And of course, if they can’t allow themselves to be vulnerable to discuss sex and intimacy, or demonstrate that they are open to seeing, hearing, and understanding you when you talk about sex, love making, fantasies, orgasms, masturbation, or contraception, you’re being shown a big, giant, glaring reg flag.

If the person you’re with isn’t comfortable talking about sex, you’ve got a potentially much bigger problem on your hands. It’s a good indicator about their emotional maturity — and (lack of) personal growth and development. And it offers an important clue about how they might show up — or how they won’t show up — in a relationship.

Share your thoughts in a comment. I’d love to read what you think about this #1 Bedroom Red Flag.

— j.j. wolfe ♥