Let Me Teach You How To Write A Story That Guarantees A 100% Non-Curation Rate!
Can we have some fun with writing, please?
Everyone writes about how to get stories curated. Oh, come on. There is life outside of curation and further distribution. As the master of phenomenal non-curation success, let me teach you how to not to be curated with a 100% hit rate.
You might be scratching your head. Like, dude. I want to be curated! Why am I reading about non-curation?
The answer is a simple one. Curation, or more recently known as further distribution, requires structure. You need to write in a way that qualifies for further distribution. If we always try to write in that manner, we will lose the joy of writing in the first place.
We need to have fun every once in a while when the blue moon shines.
So, here you go. These are my 4 tips that guarantee fun in writing and a 100% non-curation rate!
Tip 1 — Be Long-Winded. No, Be SUPER Long-Winded.
Write with a refusal to place a period. Keep your sentences so long, so long, that readers know you are having fun.
This is my advice for best practice writing.
You must never, ever try to repeat words in one sentence. Never, ever do that. If you do, your stories will never, ever be selected for further distribution. Get it?
Never, ever do that. You must never, ever do that.
And you must never, ever write LIKE THIS.
Get it?
Never, ever, never, ever do that.
Tip 2 — Forget Call-To-ACTIONs. Have CALLs-To-Action Instead.
If you want to be selected for further distribution, you have to avoid Call-To-Actions (CTA).
- What if you are writing not for the sake of writing?
- What if you are writing to silently promote your business, products, and services?
If so, you want people to connect with you and call you, am I right?
You want Calls-To-Action.
You want people to call you!
A ringing phone supports a ringing cashier till!
Forget Call-To-Actions. Give us your phone numbers so we can call you to buy your stuff after reading your fantastic product marketing story!
Your business or Your Curation?
Your choice!
Tip 3 — Grab Attention Through Confusion.
I am a believer in self-improvement. I know very well that before was was was, it was is.
Read that again.
I used to be dumb, so dumb, that I was asking questions no one was asking.
Many intelligent folks learned not to be stupid. I am too stupid to understand what being smart looks like.
Put that aside.
We can also write with friction. The best way to do that is through double-negatives.
- This is not the time to be deliberately stupid, Joe. We have to rise to the occasion by putting our heads down and working silently.
- I ain’t afraid of nothing.
- Yeah, right.
Remember the golden rule of grammar. Double negatives are a No-No!
It will do you no good if you insist on writing this way!
Unless, of course, you decide to have fun like I am!
Tip 4 — Use Many Images To Tell A Story.
A picture speaks a thousand words.
My English teacher taught me that.
For some strange reason unknown to me, she gave me a BIG, FAT, ZERO when I decided to hand in a thousand-word assignment with my beautiful doodles.
It applies to further distribution too. Write your stories using many, many images if you have no intention to be curated for further distribution.
This is how I am feeling today, through the use of multiple images.
I have just given you a 3-thousand words essay. Hope you enjoyed reading it (and figuring it out).
The End Is A Start.
You do not need to end a story by ending a story.
We live in a world of confusion where there is no end to a new start. We learned to accept the person who we are, prematurely ending initiatives we barely started.
This is the way it is. We must never, ever forget that we are mere mortals.
We err, and then we learn.
And before we go, let me give you a piece of thousand-word long advice that is painstakingly distilled into one carefully curated image.
(HAVE FUN!)
Aldric
About the Author:
As a content contributor, I write my observations from daily life and my business exposure.
Because our life experience is the bedrock of our unique perspectives.