Lessons In Friendship: The Strain Of Unbalanced Give and Take
In Response to Dancing Elephants Press Relationship Column
“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” — Eleanor Roosevelt.
Life is a tapestry woven with various relationships, and sometimes, holding onto connections that no longer serve us can weigh us down. This realization hit close to home with my friend and neighbour, Sapna.
My Friend’s Story
Sapna and her long-time friend, Kirti, had forged a strong bond in Bangalore years ago. Sapna had relocated from the USA to care for her aging parents and immerse herself in corporate activities. Despite the physical distance, Sapna always went the extra mile for Kirti, offering support without expecting much in return.
As the years unfolded, Kirti’s marriage to the CEO of a major US company marked a turning point. Sapna began sensing a shift in their friendship dynamics. Once a cordial relationship, the harmonious bond becomes strained, favours become transactional, and reciprocity fades away. To complicate matters, Kirti’s husband openly belittled Sapna, displaying a lack of respect and humility.
The age-old wisdom, “Unbalanced give and take and a lack of reciprocity can strain even the strongest friendships,” rang true in Sapna’s situation.
Hurt and upset, Sapna confided in me, revealing the mismatch in values, personalities, and thoughts between herself, Kirti, and her husband.
Navigating the tides of connection
Friendships thrive on mutuality, trust, and reciprocity. When honesty falters, the foundation becomes fragile, unable to weather challenges. True friends respect each other’s choices and boundaries.
Maintaining a healthy relationship is akin to sitting by a fireplace. Sit too close for too long, and you risk getting burned. Conversely, too much distance can lead to feeling trapped and burnt out. Striking the right balance is paramount.
In Sapna’s case, it became evident that sometimes, it’s okay to let go of connections that no longer bring joy. Prioritizing your well-being is not selfish; it’s an essential act of self-care. Recognizing what makes you happy and having the courage to walk away is a powerful choice.
In the ebb and flow of relationships, Sapna’s journey teaches us the importance of embracing change, respecting boundaries, and seeking equilibrium. As we navigate our own relationship paths, may we find inspiration in Sapna’s courage to prioritize happiness and well-being above all.
Lessons Learnt
Here’s a concise list of lessons learned from Sapna’s experience on how to build and maintain healthy relationships:
- Mutuality and Reciprocity: Relationships thrive on mutual support and reciprocity. A balanced give-and-take ensures the strength and sustainability of friendships.
- Honest Communication: Open and honest communication is the bedrock of any strong relationship. If issues arise, addressing them directly and transparently can prevent misunderstandings.
- Respect for Differences: Recognize and respect that individuals come from diverse backgrounds with varying values, personalities, and thoughts. Embrace these differences rather than allowing them to become sources of conflict.
- Setting Boundaries: Establishing and respecting personal boundaries is crucial. A healthy relationship involves understanding and honouring each other’s limits and preferences.
- Non-Judgmental Support: True friends do not judge each other’s choices. Providing a non-judgmental space for each other fosters trust and understanding.
- Balance and Personal Space: Relationships require the right balance, like sitting by a fireplace. Avoid being too close for too long, which can lead to burnout. Allow room for personal space and independence.
- Recognition of Changing Dynamics: Acknowledge that relationships evolve. Be attuned to changing dynamics and be willing to adapt to new circumstances.
- Prioritizing Well-being: It’s essential to prioritize your own well-being. Recognize when a relationship no longer brings joy or contributes positively to your life, and be willing to let go if necessary.
- Courage to Walk Away: Sometimes, walking away from connections that no longer serve you is an act of self-care and empowerment. Having the courage to make this choice is crucial for personal growth.
- Continuous Adaptation: Relationships require continuous adaptation. As individuals and circumstances change, be open to evolving with the relationship to ensure its longevity.
Sapna’s journey serves as a valuable guide, highlighting the importance of these lessons in building and maintaining meaningful connections.
Thank you Libby Shively McAvoy for the wonderful prompt and the Relationship Column.
Wishing all my readers a Very Happy New Year!🎉
Here are the articles that I enjoyed reading,
from Dr. Gabriella Korosi
from James Boylan