Strategies and Games to Encourage Kids to Talk

Learn to Promote Dialogue and Hear What They Are Not Saying

All parents have experienced mediocre answers to questions about their child’s day. They are greeted with monotone responses lacking details.

“Nothing.” “Boring.” “I don’t know.” “I don’t remember.”

It would be easy to cast blame on technology but that is not entirely the reason for teenagers’ lack of communication skills. My daughter, now grown adults, displayed similar behaviors until I really poked, prodded, and pried.

Now, many parents are living in confined spaces with their children and the conversation often remain stilted and brief. Though humans naturally communicate, effective self-expression and the ability to share personal information remains elusive, especially with teenagers.

It is important that we discuss what is happening during challenging times because it provides an outlet for emotions, an opportunity to process thoughts and feelings, as well as allows us to accept responsibility for our own feelings. With a degree in communication and English, I understand the rehabilitative value of expressing myself through words whether they be spoken or written. However, there have been times I have not heeded my own advice. In these times my frustration increased; I granted power to my depression decreasing my motivation, leaving me feeling powerless.

(This article shares my personal experience of a time I was reminded the importance of sharing and the value of open dialogue, Asking for Help is Difficult but It is Harder to Survive Alone.)

It is valuable, imperative, essential, critical that parents build in natural opportunities to dialogue with kids.

Introduce the following activities as games to accomplish this goal. Our family participates in these on long car rides, around the campfire, and most recently when quarantined.

Popcorn Story Telling

One person starts with a phrase, for instance,

• “The other day I walked into a strangers house . . .
• “This morning when I opened my eyes a pink elephant was sitting on my bed . . .
• “Once upon a time a boy witnessed a terrible thing . . . “

Have each participant (2 or more) add details to the story. Sometimes the narrative becomes funny, scary, or goes off in an unexpected direction. Just let it develop. The goal is to spark imagination and you will gain insight into your child’s mind.

What Would You Do If . . . ?

I like this activity because it can initiate impromptu conversations or serve as an organized game by writing scenarios on scraps of paper. Place the papers in a bowl and each person explains their response. The response that gets the most votes gets a point. In giving their answers, your kids will practice verbalizing ideas and share their inner thoughts.

This game provides parents awareness about how children would respond to different events. Kids often only see one way to address concerns, so the value of this game is as each person contributes, multiple options and perspectives are presented.

Cloud Watching

Lie in the grass watching the clouds, encouraging kids to find shapes or animals or people within the clouds. Compare what they see to what you see and talk about the similarities and differences. Develop the visions into stories. This is also a fantastic way to take learning outside.

Show and Tell

A classic kindergarten activity provides a catalyst for communication with small children. It can be implemented in multiple ways, but I like to have children share one thing that brought them joy. Just before bedtime, take time to talk about the day as they share something they value, explain what they did, why the item is important, and why it makes them happy.

Picture Stories

Show kids a picture and have them make up a story based upon what they see. This promotes creative thinking and develops inference skills. Pictures can come from magazines, books, coloring books, or even drawings the child has created.

Would You Rather

I have saved my favorite for last. At some of our most difficult mother-daughter times, when events made casual conversation a challenge, my daughter and I would fall back on asking each other questions: salt or pepper, blue or green, mountains or ocean. We broke the tension by choosing our preference leading us to laugh, relax and find common ground.

I now see there is a similar game that is all the rage. (Just think if I had the foresight to market it years ago, I might be rich today.) At the end of this article I have shared a list of 200 questions from an internet site; there are hundreds available with a simple Google search.

Parenting Tips

• Listen more and talk less
• Talk to, not at
• Ask open ended question that prompt conversation. Do not ask questions that can be answered with a yes or no response
• Do not interrupt until the point is made. It sometimes takes time for a speaker to process their thought and say what is really on the mind.
• Be respectful — even if you do not agree.

And Please Remember

I post an article daily providing strategies to stimulate learning. You can subscribe (totally free). Take a moment to see past posts that gather ideas:

• How to access books when libraries close
• How to use the newspaper to promote learning
• Strategies to stimulate toddlers
• How to use boxes to keep kids active
• Free educational websites
• And the post first post that started them all

https://iammybest.org/category/teaching-resources

Would you rather questions for kids list from Conversation Starters World

1. Would you rather be a detective or a pilot?

2. Would you rather go skiing or go to a water park?

3. Would you rather fly a kite or swing on a swing?

4. Would you rather dance or sing?

5. Would you rather play hide and seek or dodgeball?

6. Would you rather be incredibly funny or incredibly smart?

7. Would you rather become five years older or two years younger?

8. Would you rather have a full suit of armor or a horse?

9. Would you rather be a master at drawing or be an amazing singer?

10. Would you rather be a wizard or a superhero?

11. Would you rather sail a boat or ride in a hang glider?

12. Would you rather brush your teeth with soap or drink sour milk?

13. Would you rather be a famous inventor or a famous writer?

14. Would you rather do schoolwork as a group or by yourself?

15. Would you rather be able to do flips and backflips or break dance?

16. Would you rather see a firework display or a circus performance?

17. Would you rather it be warm and raining or cold and snowing today?

18. Would you rather be able to create a new holiday or create a new sport?

19. Would you rather only be able to walk on all fours or only be able to walk sideways like a crab?

20. Would you rather start a colony on another planet or be the leader of a small country on Earth?

21. Would you rather be able to see things that are very far away, like binoculars or be able to see things very close up, like a microscope?

22. Would you rather be an incredibly fast swimmer or an incredibly fast runner?

23. Would you rather own an old-timey pirate ship and crew or a private jet with a pilot and infinite fuel?

24. Would you rather be able to jump as far as a kangaroo or hold your breath as long as a whale?

25. Would you rather be able to type/text very fast or be able to read really quickly?

26. Would you rather randomly turn into a frog for a day once a month or randomly turn into a bird for a day once every week?

27. Would you rather have the chance to design a new toy or create a new TV show?

28. Would you rather be really good at math or really good at sports?

29. Would you rather be the author of a popular book or a musician in a band who released a popular album?

30. Would you rather live in a house shaped like a circle or a house shaped like a triangle?

31. Would you rather live in a place with a lot of trees or live in a place near the ocean?

32. Would you rather have your room redecorated however you want or ten toys of your choice (can be any price)?

33. Would you rather have a magic carpet that flies or a see-through submarine?

34. Would you rather everything in your house be one color or every single wall and door be a different color?

35. Would you rather visit the international space station for a week or stay in an underwater hotel for a week?

36. Would you rather have ninja-like skills or have amazing coding skills in any language?

37. Would you rather be able to control fire or water?

38. Would you rather have a new silly hat appear in your closet every morning or a new pair of shoes appear in your closet once a week?

39. Would you rather be able to remember everything you’ve ever seen or heard or be able to perfectly imitate any voice you heard?

40. Would you rather drink every meal as a smoothie or never be able to eat food that has been cooked?

41. Would you rather meet your favorite celebrity or be on a TV show?

42. Would you rather be a master at origami or a master of sleight of hand magic?

43. Would you rather have a tail that can’t grab things or wings that can’t fly?

44. Would you rather have a special room you could fill with as many bubbles as you want, anytime you want or have a slide that goes from your roof to the ground?

45. Would you rather dance in front of 1000 people or sing in front of 1000 people?

46. Would you rather ride a very big horse or a very small pony?

47. Would you rather be able to shrink down to the size of an ant any time you wanted to or be able to grow to the size of a two-story building anytime you wanted to?

48. Would you rather be able to move silently or have an incredibly loud and scary voice?

49. Would you rather be bulletproof or be able to survive falls from any height?

50. Would you rather eat a whole raw onion or a whole lemon?

51. Would you rather be incredibly luck with average intelligence or incredibly smart with average luck?

52. Would you rather be able to change color to camouflage yourself or grow fifteen feet taller and shrink back down whenever you wanted?

53. Would you rather instantly become a grown up or stay the age you are now for another two years?

54. Would you rather have a personal life-sized robot or a jetpack?

55. Would you rather never have any homework or be paid 10$ per hour for doing your homework?

56. Would you rather take a coding class or an art class?

57. Would you rather eat a bowl of spaghetti noodles without sauce or a bowl of spaghetti sauce without noodles?

58. Would you rather have eyes that change color depending on your mood or hair that changes color depending on the temperature?

59. Would you rather eat an apple or an orange?

60. Would you rather taste the best pizza that has ever existed once but never again or have the 4th best pizza restaurant in the world within delivery distance?

61. Would you rather go snorkeling on a reef or camping by a lake?

62. Would you rather have an elephant-sized cat or a cat-sized elephant?

63. Would you rather be able to jump into any picture and instantly be in that place and time but able to return or would you rather be able to take pictures of the future, just stand in a place think of a time in the future and take a picture?

64. Would you rather play outdoors or indoors?

65. Would you rather eat broccoli flavored ice cream or meat flavored cookies?

66. Would you rather eat one live nonpoisonous spider or have fifty nonpoisonous spiders crawl on you all at once?

67. Would you rather live on a sailboat or in a cabin deep in the woods?

68. Would you rather have an amazing tree house with slides and three rooms or an amazing entertainment system with a huge TV and every game console?

69. Would you rather eat a popsicle or a cupcake?

70. Would you rather own a hot air balloon or an airboat?

71. Would you rather have a bubble gun that shoots giant 5-foot bubbles or a bathtub-sized pile of Legos?

72. Would you rather eat a worm or a grasshopper?

73. Would you rather have super strength or super speed?

74. Would you rather never eat cheese again or never drink anything sweet again?

75. Would you rather have your very own house next to your parent’s house or live with your parents in a house that’s twice the size of the one you live in now?

76. Would you rather have a cupcake or a piece of cake?

77. Would you rather be able to move wires around with your mind or be able to turn any carpeted floor into a six-foot deep pool of water?

78. Would you rather be able to speak any language but not be able to read in any of them or read any language but not be able to speak any of them?

79. Would you rather live in a house where all the walls were made of glass or live in an underground house?

80. Would you rather stay a kid until you turn 80 or instantly turn 40?

81. Would you rather be able to watch any movies you want a week before they are released or always know what will be trendy before it becomes a trend?

82. Would you rather be an athlete in the Summer Olympics or the Winter Olympics?

83. Would you rather be fluent in 10 languages or be able to code in 10 different programming languages?

84. Would you rather drive a police car or an ambulance?

85. Would you rather have a piggy bank that doubles any money you put in it or find ten dollars under your pillow every time you wake up?

86. Would you rather own a mouse or a rat?

87. Would you rather live in a cave or a tree house?

88. Would you rather do a book report or a science project for a school assignment?

89. Would you rather fly an airplane or drive a fire truck?

90. Would you rather be a talented engineer or a talented coder?

91. Would you rather spend the whole day in a huge garden or spend the whole day in a large museum?

92. Would you rather be able to find anything that was lost or every time you touched someone, they would be unable to lie?

93. Would you rather be a babysitter or a dog sitter?

94. Would you rather ride a bike or ride a kick scooter?

95. Would you rather work alone on a school project or work with others on a school project?

96. Would you rather open one 5$ present every day or one big present that costs between 100$ to 300$ once a month?

97. Would you rather have an unlimited supply of ice cream or a popular ice cream flavor named after you?

98. Would you rather live in a place that is always dusty or always humid?

99. Would you rather have any book you wanted for free or be able to watch any movie you wanted for free?

100. Would you rather be able to play the piano or the guitar?

101. Would you rather be able to read lips or know sign language?

102. Would you rather eat a hamburger or a hot dog?

103. Would you rather ride a roller coaster or see a movie?

104. Would you rather be able to change the color of anything with just a thought or know every language that has ever been spoken on Earth?

105. Would you rather have super strong arms or super strong legs?

106. Would you rather move to a different city or move to a different country?

107. Would you rather be wildly popular on the social media platform of your choice or have an extremely popular podcast?

108. Would you rather be able to talk to animals and have them understand you, but you can’t understand them, or would you rather be able to understand what animals say but they can’t understand you?

109. Would you rather eat smores or cupcakes?

110. Would you rather ride in a hang glider or ride in a helicopter?

111. Would you rather never have to sleep or never have to eat?

112. Would you rather be an amazing photographer or an amazing writer?

113. Would you rather sneeze uncontrollably for 15 minutes once every day or sneeze once every 3 minutes of the day while you are awake?

114. Would you rather be able to remember everything in every book you read or remember every conversation you have?

115. Would you rather have 10 mosquito bites or 1 bee sting?

116. Would you rather be an actor/actress in a movie or write a movie script that would be made into a movie?

117. Would you rather be able to talk to dogs or cats?

118. Would you rather have a jetpack or a jet?

119. Would you rather ride a roller coaster or go down a giant water slide?

120. Would you rather get every Lego set that comes out for free or every new video game system that comes out for free?

121. Would you rather go on vacation to a new country every summer vacation or get an extra three weeks of summer break?

122. Would you rather eat a turkey sandwich with vanilla ice cream inside or eat vanilla ice cream with bits of turkey inside?

123. Would you rather ride a skateboard or a bike?

124. Would you rather visit every country in the World or be able to play any musical instrument?

125. Would you rather control the outcome of any coin flip or be unbeatable at rock, paper, scissors?

126. Would you rather be able to type faster than anyone or speak faster than anyone?

127. Would you rather have a private movie theater or your own private arcade?

128. Would you rather be a cyborg or a robot?

129. Would you rather ride in a hang glider or skydive?

130. Would you rather every vegetable you eat taste like candy but still be healthy or all water you drink taste like a different delicious beverage every time you drink it?

131. Would you rather be really good at skateboarding or really good at any video game you tried?

132. Would you rather lay in a bathtub filled with worms for 5 minutes or lay in a bathtub filled with beetles that don’t bite for 5 minutes?

133. Would you rather live next to a theme park or next to a zoo?

134. Would you rather have a room with whiteboard walls that you can draw on or a room where the whole ceiling is one big skylight?

135. Would you rather have a house with trampoline floors or a house with aquarium floors?

136. Would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship traveling far from earth?

137. Would you rather play soccer or baseball?

138. Would you rather ride a camel or ride a horse?

139. Would you rather be amazing at drawing and painting or be able to remember everything you ever read?

140. Would you rather have a jetpack or a hoverboard that actually hovers (no wheels)?

141. Would you rather have a ten-dollar bill or ten dollars in coins?

142. Would you rather get up early or stay up late?

143. Would you rather be able to eat any spicy food without a problem or never be bitten by another mosquito?

144. Would you rather never have to take a bath/shower but still always smell nice or never have to get another shot but still be healthy?

145. Would you rather be able to learn everything in a book by putting it under your pillow while you slept or be able to control your dreams every night?

146. Would you rather be able to see new colors that no other people could see or be able to hear things that no other humans can hear?

147. Would you rather move to a country and city of your choice or stay in your own country but not be able to decide where you moved?

148. Would you rather have pancakes every day for breakfast or pizza every day for dinner?

149. Would you rather drive a race car or fly a helicopter?

150. Would you rather be unable to control how fast you talk or unable to control how loud you talk?

151. Would you rather be rich and unknown or be famous and have enough money, but not be rich?

152. Would you rather live in a house in the forest where there aren’t many people around or live in a city with lots of people around?

153. Would you rather dance or draw?

154. Would you rather have a 3d printer or the best phone on the market?

155. Would you rather go snow skiing or water skiing?

156. Would you rather never be able to eat any type meat again or never be able to eat things with sugar in them?

157. Would you rather have no homework or no tests?

158. Would you rather be able to control the length of your hair with your mind or be able to control the length of your fingernails with your mind? (Hair and nails grow/shrink about 1 inch in 10 seconds.)

159. Would you rather get to name a newly discovered tree or a newly discovered spider?

160. Would you rather swim in Jell-O or swim in Nutella?

161. Would you rather play on swings or play on a slide?

162. Would you rather have the power to shrink things to half their size or the power to enlarge things to twice their size?

163. Would you rather live in a base under the ocean or a floating base in the sky?

164. Would you rather not need to eat and never be hungry or not need to drink and never be thirsty?

165. Would you rather be the fastest kid at your school or the smartest kid at your school?

166. Would you rather be a scientist or be the boss of a company?

167. Would you rather have a magic freezer that always has all your favorite ice cream flavors or one that has a different ice cream flavor every time you open the door?

168. Would you rather have a very powerful telescope or a very powerful microscope?

169. Would you rather hang out for an hour with 10 puppies or 10 kittens?

170. Would you rather be able to change colors like a chameleon or hold your breath underwater for an hour?

171. Would you rather learn to surf or learn to ride a skateboard?

172. Would you rather eat your favorite food every day or find 5 dollars under your pillow every morning?

173. Would you rather have a pet penguin or a pet Komodo dragon?

174. Would you rather be able to eat pancakes as much as you want without it hurting your health or be able to eat as much bacon as you want without it hurting your health?

175. Would you rather be able to talk to animals or be able to fly?

176. Would you rather own a restaurant or be a chef?

177. Would you rather have a pet dinosaur of your choosing or a dragon the size of a dog?

178. Would you rather have an amazing tree house or your whole yard be a trampoline?

179. Would you rather have a slide that goes from your home’s roof to the ground or be able to change and control what color the lights are in your home?

180. Would you rather be a famous musician or a famous business owner?

181. Would you rather play in a giant mud puddle or a pool?

182. Would you rather have your favorite artist perform a private show just for you or perform on stage next to your favorite artist for thousands of people?

183. Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

184. Would you rather have 100$ now or 1000$ in a year?

185. Would you rather have a real triceratops or a robot triceratops? (Both are the same size.)

186. Would you rather have everything you draw become real or become a superhero of your choice?

187. Would you rather be given every Lego set that was ever made or get every new Lego set that comes out for free?

188. Would you rather go to the beach or go to the zoo?

189. Would you rather get a new pair of shoes or a jacket?

190. Would you rather read a book or read a magazine?

191. Would you rather be the fastest swimmer on earth or the third fastest runner on earth?

192. Would you rather drink orange juice or milk?

193. Would you rather go camping or stay in a hotel room?

194. Would you rather go to the doctor for a shot or the dentist to get a cavity filled?

195. Would you rather be able to make plants grow very quickly or be able to make it rain whenever you wanted?

196. Would you rather be a falcon or a dolphin?

197. Would you rather be able to read minds or see one day into the future?

198. Would you rather have fireworks go off every evening for an hour or have Christmas three times a year?

199. Would you rather eat a bowl of spaghetti that was just one long noodle or eat ice cream launched from a catapult?

200. Would you rather watch a two-hour movie or watch two hours of shows?