Layers of Me
A Poem
Layer upon layer My life builds Me. Walking, talking Moving Around others. Interacting, breathing, Creating, loving, hating.
Peeling back layers, Of dates, times, Disappointments, depression, Love, joy, sadness, A skin-like log of layers. The scalpel, cool in my hand Cuts sharply into life-layers; Into joy, pain, bitterness.
Cut too deep And memories pool, Immersing me, Dragging me under, Into depths of emotion. Feeling pain and joy, Over and over. Again.
I breathe. In. Out. Eyes closed, focus on now. I feel the fabric of my clothing Against my skin. I smell the coffee From the kitchen, The coconut scent Of morning routine On my skin. Drag myself out Of this unwanted Reverie. Peeling back Layers of life, Unsettles my inner peace, Recently found. A battle To stay in the now.
I put down The cool scalpel. I smooth over dissected Layers. Breathe. I look around, Look forward. Better to not Dip my toes into Past events I cannot change.
The layers of life, Layers of me, Keep building.
I started writing this poem in my head. Struggling with feelings from the past, I had a very strong image of peeling back layers of emotion and experience. It kept coming to me, this image (which is how many of my poems start — with an image). I started writing fragments of it in my head before I committed it to actual written text.
At times, I find it difficult not to be dragged into recalling past events, which tend to always be the ones with negative emotions attached to them. I use mindfulness to bring myself to the present. I practice gratitude to keep my thoughts positive.
~thanks for reading~
I write poetry and other things from my home in Finland. If you’d like to keep in touch, Northern Notes is my newsletter. Consider buying me a coffee.
