Laughing at Our Past Horror Stories is a Sign of Healing
Iyanla VanZant shared her story of stabbing her abusive ex by — laughing at it.
I just stumbled on this Youtube video of Iyanla VanZant.
She very meticulously, yet humorously described a few of her past violent situations with her ex husband. You can tell she has worked through her pain and healed from the horrors of her past by the way she told these stories with so much humor!
YES, Humor.
She could now laugh at some of the most horrific experiences in her life.
She talked with such lightness, levity and ‘matter-of-fact-ness’ about some of her most serious life threatening situations which I found liberating.
As memoir writers I think one of our goals is to move on and heal from our past stories. Learning the lessons from our pain is a wonderful part of the memoir writing process/journey. Laughing at our past abuse and at our past horror stories is not only a sign that we are healing (or have healed) but, that we have learned the lessons from the pain.
Almost all of my memoir writer friends say they are better people now after writing their memoirs. They agree that publishing their book eventually made them:
- Wiser
- Kinder towards life and themselves
- More aware
- Happier
and even more humorous when retelling it!
I know I have farther to go with this, which is why I start then stop my memoir often.
I inch forward by working on a few chapters at a time, which I did last month. (I got over 5 more chapters edited — YAY ME! — but when it came time to write the really PAINFUL SHIT I again hit a weird emotional block.) I call it an UGH!! I’ve hit quite a few of these UGHS! over the past years. Then, I put it aside to let it simmer on the back burner — again.
I wrote about that here:
I use the analogy of ‘letting memoir simmer like food on a back burner’ often. When you finally bring food back up from the back to the front burner the food tastes better somehow. Doesn’t it?
The spices had time to sink in and made the story more ‘seasoned and juicy!?’
Oooo I do love this analogy.
So, I’ve put my memoir on the back burner often after writing the first draft of over 65,000 words a few years ago. But, I am making great progress and I know it WILL get done — in the right time.
Iknow that it’s OK to take breaks from our writing. It is a natural and necessary part of the process. By writing daily on Medium it is also helping me to hone my skills and find my ‘voice’ for when I do return to the memoir (which has been an ultimate goal of mine.)
So, I work on my memoir when I can now. I know I am not at the level of total peace and ‘humor’ with it all, yet, like Iyanla, but I do believe I am getting there.
The good news is that every time I take a break then return to the memoir it feels lighter, less daunting and even — more humorous! YAY!!
THANKS FOR READING! [email protected]
Michelle Monet has published 5 non-fiction books including 4 Poetic Memoirs. Her upcoming Memoir is about her life in show business. She is also writing a Broadway style Musical based on her life story.
A FEW CHAPTERS FROM UPCOMING MEMOIR: