Summary

Michelle Monet, after a period of emotional healing and literary growth, is revisiting her memoir with a renewed perspective and sense of detachment.

Abstract

Michelle Monet, an author and survivor of a traumatic past, has returned to revise her memoir with fresh eyes and a stronger sense of self. Initially overwhelmed by the emotional toll of recounting her experiences with an abusive ex-husband and unresolved childhood traumas, she put her memoir on hold. During this interim, Monet focused on writing and publishing other books, including poetry and essays, which honed her writing skills and prepared her for the eventual return to her personal story. This break allowed her to gain clarity and distance, making the revision process less daunting and even enjoyable. Now, with support from friends and editors, Monet is crafting her memoir into a powerful narrative of hope and survival, aiming to help others through her story.

Opinions

Monet found Anne Lamott's advice to write a 'shitty first draft' liberating, which led to the initial outpouring of her memoir.
Reliving past traumas through journaling was emotionally challenging, causing Monet to pause and seek therapy.
She believed it necessary to resolve issues with her parents and sister before continuing with her memoir.
Monet's other published works were a strategic move to continue writing while emotionally distancing herself from the memoir's content.
She views her story as universally inspiring and worth sharing to aid in her own healing and to empower others.
The process of writing and publishing prior to tackling the memoir built her confidence as a writer and her ability to be vulnerable in her writing.
Monet's friend/editor's feedback has been positive and reinforcing, confirming the value of her memoir and its potential impact on readers.
Despite financial constraints, Monet has received moral and professional support from a well-known memoir author friend, reinforcing her commitment to completing her memoir.
She acknowledges the solitary nature of writing a memoir but recognizes it as a significant life goal that she is determined to achieve.

I Am Back To My Memoir with Fresher Eyes

The second time around feels less daunting

One of my all time favorite books on writing is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. She suggests to write a ‘shitty first draft’. I did that a few years ago. I vomited up 65,000 plus words towards my memoir.

I was 54. It was cathartic getting the first draft up and out of me. Although it was also a bit grueling — emotionally and even physically — to relive some of the most painful times in my life.

Writing about my violent ex-husband who almost killed me and left me alone with no money while I was singing in a show in a foreign country triggered so much anxiety that I put it all aside.

I let it ‘simmer’ on the back burner.

Even though I was writing about a situation that happened in 1996 all the emotions seemed to come back as if it were today.

I’ve kept a journal since age 8. I have over 65 full journals from age 8 to 54. One day I put all the journals in chronological order. Here are a few laid out on the kitchen table.

Here are just some of my full journals from age 8.

One day I thought I was brave enough and ready to open one. So, I took a deep breath and randomly opened a journal from 1992, which was one of the most violent years with my husband. (I even found the restraining order I got in Cape Town when I was running for my life and I saw Ricks handwriting, which also triggered me.)

The more I read, the shakier I felt.

My hands and heart were trembling. I felt physically sick. I immediately closed the journal and put them all back in the closet.

‘UGH! ‘I’m not ready!”…I thought.

I wasn’t.

Resolving Past Issues Became Key

Besides the unresolved anger towards my ex-husband I was still holding a lot of sadness about my childhood traumas, surrounding both parents, that I still hadn’t dealt with. (They are both alive and well, in their late 80's).

I felt it was all ‘too much’ for me to deal with. I was still fragile.

My 86 year old dad just had four strokes and my mom broke her back and was not doing well. I still had so many unresolved anger surrounding both parents. Instinctively, I thought I needed to resolve some of these ‘mom and dad’ (and sister) issues before I went back to the original Memoir.

I went into therapy and continued writing in my journal and writing essays on Medium.com.

I was happy to be honing my skills for when I eventually returned to the memoir.

I did not want this memoir to be a ‘Misery Memoir’. (I’ve read enough books on memoir writing to know this is a bad idea!) But, I knew I had a ‘Universal message of hope and survival’ and a riveting story to share.

I WANTED TO TELL THIS STORY about how I not only survived but thrived after a horrendous past. Many people who knew my story told me I had an amazing (and true!) story to share. Hey, truth is better than fiction sometimes, and I knew my story was a very worthy one to share.

I felt by writing this Memoir it would help my own healing process too.

But, I put it aside…again.I knew that I would eventually get back to this memoir with more clarity and distance if I took time away from it.

I Pivoted Into Publishing Other Books

MICHELLE MONET BOOKS on AMAZON-https://www.amazon.com/Michelle-Monet/e/B01J5X26QS/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

During this time when my original memoir was ‘simmering’ on the back burner I knew that I loved the craft of writing so much that I had to keep writing.

Writing has always felt like ‘home’ to me.

After seeing all the emotional pain I was in attempting to write the memoir my boyfriend Bob asked, ‘why not write about less daunting emotional subjects?’ (Sometimes he’s damn smart!)

So, since Poems seemed to be oozing out of me and flooding my journals instead of working on the daunting memoir I decided to divert my creative writing energy into poetry. I’ve published 4 ‘poetic memoirs’ since 2016 and one other non-fiction book. Writing these other books kept me focused on writing. I also began writing a daily essay on medium.com. My 5th book called Creative People…and What Makes them Tick was a great diversion from writing about ME! It helped me to get out of my own story for a while and focus on others. It is an inspiring book about the lives of artists and creative people in various fields of art.

I instinctively knew I was becoming a better writer and getting valuable experience in finding my ‘voice’ by crafting daily essays on Medium.

I gained three things from publishing these books before the Memoir:

1. I got my feet wet as an author. 2. I became braver, by revealing some embarrassing truths’ ( Hey, I knew I needed bravery and vulnerability when I returned to the memoir.) 3. I became a better writer.

Seeing my Memoir With Fresher Eyes Now

I am now back to working on my memoir again, with fresher eyes. I bravely pulled up the first draft a week or so ago in my Google Docs and I have been going through each chapter, editing and cleaning them up.

Each chapter is getting shinier like a diamond now!

This 2nd time through the manuscript it is less daunting and even fun! I even feel more detached — like I am writing fiction now. I am the character. I am observing ‘her’ (me) from a distance and I am not feeling much emotional pain anymore.

A friend/editor is now helping me shape and edit my story. I send her 2 or 3 ‘cleaned up’ chapters at a time. I read each aloud to her on the phone and she makes notes. She made these comments today, which were helpful and encouraging:

‘Your books gonna help a lot of women…’

“‘…you are really good at dialogue”

‘I’m looooovin it so far! It needs very little editing.

“It’s totally drawing me in and keeping my attention…”

I also have another well-known Memoir Author friend who says she is happy to help me. She offered to look at my first three chapters to give feedback etc. I am low on finances, so I appreciate her kind offer.

She said “I for one can’t wait for you to tell your story! You’ve had such an interesting life and survival tale — so, you have at least one reader!”

I’m happy that she believes my story is one that must be told. I am thankful that I’ve connected with her and that I have her in my corner. Sometimes it feels lonely and daunting, writing a Memoir, but I also know it is a life goal and I must continue.

I do know writing a Memoir or any book is a ‘process’ and I’m glad I took the time to gain the distance from it.

THANKS FOR READING! Contact me at: [email protected]