Languages Languages (Regional Languages)
“Ay up”
“Helô”
“Aright, my ‘ansum”
“Hullo”
“Yorright”
The UK is a wonderful place with rich diverse communities. It’s like a bunch of neighbours being forced to live together by the English.
1st Person: Not all English.
Me: Sorry. It’s like a bunch of neighbours being forced to live together by some English.
1st Person: Thank-you.
Me: Actually, do I detect a slight accent? Don’t tell me, let me guess. I’m actually quite good at this. I’d say you’re from, Geordieland.
1st Person: Firstly, Geordieland isn’t a place, and, secondly, I’m French.
Me: Close enough.
So, what is the UK?
“The United Kingdom, made up of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, is an island nation in northwestern Europe. England — birthplace of Shakespeare and The Beatles — is home to the capital, London, a globally influential centre of finance and culture. England is also site of Neolithic Stonehenge, Bath’s Roman spa and centuries-old universities at Oxford and Cambridge.” — Google
Thanks Google. The United Kingdom is basically England it seems. However, thanks Google, because The United Kingdom is made up of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland it seems. You see, two things can be true at the same time.
There is a famous Londoney phrase, which Londonees often say, when encountering basically anyone who ain’t Londoney. The phrase is, “Yes, it’s bills and tax that I’m paying,” which is Londoney rhyming slang for, “I can’t understand a blind word you’re saying.”
To be fair, it often is quite hard to identify an accent, especially if you’re a stubbornly insular bod. Although, if you are not, Which part of the UK could this old bird be from?
(A). England
England is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Wales to its west and Scotland to its north. England is a place where little Englanders live.
(B). Northern Ireland
Northern Ireland is a part of the United Kingdom, situated in the north-east of the island of Ireland, that is variously described as a country, province or region. Northern Ireland is a place where Irish Brits live. Or where British Irish live.
(C ). Scotland
Scotland is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. Covering the northern third of the island of Great Britain. Scotland is a place where big Scotlanders live.
(D). Wales
Wales is a country in southwest Great Britain known for its rugged coastline, mountainous national parks, distinctive Welsh language and Celtic culture. Wales is a place where Cymraeg speakers live.
(E). The Posh Bits
The Posh Bits are scattered around the United Kingdom but are mainly concentrated in the South of England. The Posh Bits are the place where a very, very expensive private education makes you often sound incoherent and out of touch.
Epilogue
1st Person: Where’s your favourite place to holiday in the UK?
Me: Anywhere you ain’t.
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