Kindness is a Choice, so Always Choose Kindness

If I can help, I will always help.

I like to think of myself as a kind person. As long as you are kind to me, I will generally be kind to you at all times. I will generally go out of my way to help people in whatever way I have within my power, and I have gotten screwed out of a lot of money and stuff helping people. It doesn’t mean I’ll stop, and honestly, I will in all likelihood continue to help people even though I’ve been burned a lot in doing it.

Kindness is a choice. Every day, we can choose to be kind to those we encounter, and every day, we should choose that kindness. But beyond that, I think we as people should endeavor to help however we can.

A lot of that help will be, in the end, pointless. We all hear stories of some good-natured people spending thousands of dollars rehabilitating an animal, only to release it and have it eaten by something else within minutes. Everyone knows not to give money to people on the street because they’ll probably use it on drugs or alcohol or whatever bullshit excuse.

Screw that. Be kind, rescue that possum from the dumpster, give the homeless guy twenty bucks, and just do good in the world. Everything is on fire, and one small act of kindness is a little more positivity than there was a minute ago.

Life is struggle and suffering, and everyone falls victim to the circle of life eventually. The world is full of bad things and pain, and the small acts of kindness we do may not have any effect on the grand scheme of things. Still, I can’t imagine how anyone can go through life knowing that they could help, but won’t.

Even if it has no effect other than to make you happy, do it. If you take a worm off the sidewalk and put it back in the grass, it probably didn’t make any difference in the grand scheme of things. Either the worm was going to be food for something, or it was going to make it back to the dirt and keep doing its worm thing, but there are millions of worms and one less isn’t going to make a difference. That doesn’t mean I still won’t put the worm back in the dirt, because even if it doesn’t matter to anyone or anything else, it matters to me and that worm.

There is so much in the world that is beyond my control that the simple act of doing something vaguely kind and nice makes me feel a little bit better about my life. I can’t help everyone and fix everything, but I can help that worm right now, and that’s something, dammit. Even if the worm gets eaten twenty minutes later, I did something.

I’ve started carrying small bills to give to people asking for money on the street. So many people hate doing that — they’re going to waste the money on drugs or alcohol, or they’re going to spend it on something frivolous that they don’t need.

So what? That’s between them and whatever god they believe in. What matters to me at that moment is that I was able to do something, and I chose to be kind and try to help. Whatever they do with the money is up to them, and if they think that drugs or alcohol will help them at that moment, that is not my concern. What matters to me is that I did something.

Yes, maybe that homeless person did buy drugs, but maybe they bought food or baby formula. They may have used it to buy a six-pack, or maybe they used it to pay for their data plan so they can job hunt. What they did with the money speaks to their character; what I do with my money speaks to mine, and I choose to use it to try to help.

Five years ago, I pulled half of my 401(k) and all of my savings to save my mother-in-law from losing her house. I had a reasonable expectation that I would see most of the money back. Instead, through circumstances outside of my control, I lost over $15,000 of my savings and retirement money.

At the time, I felt like I was doing the right thing, and while I wound up almost bankrupt as a result, my mother-in-law wound up with a nice place to live. I have very few regrets about the whole situation, and if given a chance to go back in time, I’d still do it. I had the power to help, so I did, and I’d do it again. It’s that simple.

I have learned to be a little more careful about being kind and doing this kind of thing — I’d rather not bankrupt myself again if I can avoid it, after all. But I’m still a big proponent of being kind as often as possible, even if it’s small or seemingly pointless acts of kindness.

Do good in the world, be kind to as many people as you can manage, and if you can help, then help. I understand that we all have limits on what we can do and what we can manage, and if you walk by a worm on the pavement without putting it back in the grass, I won’t blame you. There are millions of worms, after all, and saving one probably won’t affect the world that much, so dedicating your energy to other things doesn’t bother me. However, I have a very hard time looking at someone or something that is struggling and just ignoring them if I have it in my power to help them.

My partner brought in some fabric that had been line-drying outside just now, and with the fabric came a firefly. I could’ve easily left it for the cats to play with, but I spent a few minutes catching it and letting it go outside. In the grand scheme of things, it’s a single firefly and isn’t that important. It’s probably going to get eaten by something bigger, and whether it gets eaten outside or by one of our cats is likely immaterial to the grand scheme of things.

However, I feel better having put it back outside, and maybe someone in our neighborhood will look outside this evening, see it light up, and feel a little better about life. Maybe it doesn’t make that much of an impact in the world, but maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, someone who is likely very far away from where I am writing this right now, but it mattered to that firefly at that moment, and it matters to me.

Be recklessly kind to as many people and creatures as you can manage. You don’t have to give all of your money away or set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm — that’s actually a very bad idea — but it takes very little effort to simply put more kindness out into the world. Besides — you never know how it might affect someone, and you might have a bigger impact than you know.

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