Kim Kardashian and I Know This Frightening Divorce Truth

You can’t escape an extremely controlling spouse

Kanye West is all over social media professing his love for Kim Kardashian. He says he’s fighting for his family. He’s calling out Pete Davidson as if he was wronged. But Kanye wasn’t wronged. He’s in the process of divorce because his marriage is over.

Most think I write about divorce.

I write about control.

Not just any type of control, the escalating frightening kind. When an individual morphs into an emotional predator and won’t free you. It’s no longer a divorce, not in the conventional sense. Not in the manner most experience.

It’s severe emotional abuse.

Unless you’ve experienced it, you may dismiss the threat. You may say Kanye’s upset and hurting, or sharing his thoughts. This is understandable because you live in a rational world.

You haven’t yet experienced your world feeling out of control.

Because another person controls it.

The type of individual who is so used to getting their way, that they will use, confuse, and abuse a situation to achieve their desired result.

They will involve your children, elongate your divorce, manipulate, change the narrative, be financially abusive, emotionally abusive, and more. And they will be unrelenting and tormenting.

They will reject reality in favor of what they want. You will be hard-pressed to find anyone in their world who will object to them. Instead, they will get away with their ‘antics’ aka ‘control’ aka ‘abuse.’

Success isn’t a pre-requisite for this, though it definitely compounds it.

Their behavior is tolerated because no matter who they are, they’ve been allowed to do what they want for years. Their family and friends have looked the other way. No one has held them accountable.

Don’t expect it to begin happening in divorce.

Even if their behavior creates chaos, distress, and unpredictability. Believe me when I say I cried for help. But even a woman crying on the phone saying her children were suffering at the hands of their father did nothing.

Otherwise good people fell silent.

While I was in the fight of my life to protect my children.

No woman and no child should endure an elongated and abusive battle for freedom. After five years of divorce, my kids and I are different people. That type of anxiety lingers.

It was trauma. No, I’m not being dramatic. It was horrific. Made worse by society’s inability to acknowledge severe personalities during a divorce — whether they are simply extreme, bitter, or suffering from a mental health disorder.

Change must happen.

No child deserves to have a parent intensify the upset of divorce. How is it even rationalized? How do we tolerate controlling personalities making custody, finances, and more divorce issues continually battled? Even for years on end.

This is about control.

Nothing else.

Children can’t begin healing after a divorce and resume calm in their lives until their parents do. It’s incredibly selfish for a grown adult to behave badly in divorce. But people do it every day. Kim Kardashian’s anguish over Kanye West only increases awareness of an already frightening divorce truth.

Things won’t change until society acknowledges current systems aren’t working.

These are out-of-control personalities that inflict this type of control. They are not accustomed to following typical societal rules, norms, and boundaries. That’s why they don’t. They are used to winning.

They think they are above the rules.

Again, this is not strictly a success or celebrity issue.

It’s a personality issue.

And if that person doesn’t recognize they have a problem, whether it’s some form of extreme behavior or mental health disorder, divorce can be terrifying. The stress and duress are simply unimaginable.

Your emotional energy is stolen from those who deserve it most, your children.

Kim Kardashian knows what I already know. You can’t divorce an extremely controlling person. Unless it’s on their terms and even then it can take years. They will make you feel helpless and rob you of the ability to enjoy your life. They will use your children, money, and anything at their disposal to continue to yield power.

It’s a compulsion to control.

I always say I was even more controlled in divorce than in marriage. That’s because while we were together my husband was still in control. He had what he wanted and life played out as he deemed fit. He was passive-aggressively controlling so on an average day he appeared laid-back.

But when I left him our world spun out of control.

I could barely keep up with what he inflicted.

Kanye West will continue to attempt to wear Kim Kardashian down. It’s a part of the manipulation, aka, control, aka, emotional abuse. And while Kim Kardashian has proven her big heart where Kanye is concerned and her overall strength, both will be severely tested.

Because she is in the fight of her life to protect her children.

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