Ben Affleck Just Said This About Parenting

One of the most powerful comments on fatherhood.

I’m watching an interview with Ben Affleck. His words bring tears to my eyes. I know why. It’s two-fold. My own experience with my dad and my children’s relationship with their father.

“I will be long dead and someone will ask my kids, ‘What was your dad like?’ And that is when I’ll know what my life was worth.”

I paraphrase Affleck’s profound statement.

I mean, seriously, is anyone else crying?!

Truer words were never spoken.

As a woman who has been on both sides of fatherhood, I will explain why but first it’s necessary to address his recent comments that were taken out of context.

Some of you may currently be upset with Affleck. I promise you he doesn’t deserve your criticism. If you listen to his elongated interview and explanation you will understand he wasn’t blaming Jennifer Garner for his drinking.

When I first heard, no one was more annoyed than me.

My father was an alcoholic.

I’ll be honest, I took it personally, but I also took it realistically as someone who is a relationship columnist and well-educated on alcoholism. I was aggravated.

Not to mention, I love Jen Garner especially since she’s my border state girl. The West Virginia gal to my Virginia. She doesn’t know it but we are southern sistas. I’ve also washed my cat in a sink.

But you can’t believe everything you read, that’s why I did further research.

Affleck was attempting to explain his life and his choices. Something which he should be commended for. Because not a lot of people, let alone celebrities are willing to vulnerably share who they are and the trials they’ve experienced.

Additionally, let us not forget, Affleck has defied the odds.

He’s given his children a sober dad.

The rest of the world may not comprehend this remarkable triumph. But this woman does. This inner little girl who had the absolute best daddy in the world who never got him back, understands.

It’s no small feat.

And it’s the exception, not the rule.

This alone means Ben Affleck deserves the respect of every single person. The people who will never grasp what addiction means. Each day he makes a choice. Not an easy one. A conscious, difficult one for him to overcome, and choose a healthy self and those he loves instead of alcohol.

My father lost that battle.

And with it, we sacrificed an incredible human being.

He was handsome, smart, joyful, funny, quick-witted, and an incredible dancer. He was Kathryn Murray’s partner on the weekly Arthur Murray Dance Show, The Arthur Murray Party.

He wasn’t the stereotypical alcoholic you hear about. He wasn’t mean or abusive. Sure, there are a few memories I would rather forget but they are the exception, not the rule. He sought an escape that imprisoned him.

I cried at Ben Affleck’s comments because I pondered his remark. Not only for myself but for my children. And because the answer broke my heart. Not for me, but for my kids.

When people ask me what my dad was like, I say he was a good man.

He was loving, kind, and gentle.

He had an addiction he could never overcome but he didn’t complicate it. He did the right thing and he signed the house over to our mom so she could raise us. And while he was physically, financially, and emotionally absent I never doubted his love.

I cry good not angry tears for him.

But my children will have a harder time with this question. I know this because they have shared their thoughts with me. I struggle because I chose the man who makes this answer complex.

And because I know their father is so painful to them.

They would choose not to respond to it at all.