Editor’s Choice in Humor
Kill ’Em With Kindness Is For Amateurs
The pros will tell you-killing it with laughter is the best medicine!
Okay, okay, okay. Enough with the heavy stuff. Time to lighten up the mood. For me, anyway. It isn’t even 5 am here yet and still, I have published a few pieces, and most of them “dark”. I don’t want to do dark anymore. Let’s educate or entertain since that’s what Medium is all about, yes?
While being derelict in my duties as an editor (i.e. taking a break) I decided to hop onto the internet slide and ride my way down the Medium rabbit hole. It’s that place we all go to, whether we’re conscious of it or not. You’ve been on the ride. I know you have.
“Oh, look! A new post!”, and you read it taking it all in. And then you see your first suggested by Medium and then the next and the next and well, yeah. A pot of coffee and a bag of cookies later…
That’s Medium’s Rabbit Hole.
Just like Lay’s potato chips, you can’t just stop with one. In my consumption of all things Medium, I happened upon this crew and a fun bunch they are. Have you ever laughed so hard that you had to stick your head between your knees and will yourself to take your next breath because you were laughing so hard? Yeah, like that.
As many of you dedicated followers, I know I oftentimes hear music in my head at the oddest times. Now would be one of those times. Who among us is old enough to remember the song from the 70s Do the Hustle?
That’s what I heard just now when I pulled up this guy’s link that I had saved specifically for this piece. K.B. Hubbard is a comic genius.
First of all, you can only follow 150 people a day. There’s no point to follow this many people because you need room for if you see a really interesting person and it’s on a rolling timer. Stick to about 50–75 a day.
If your goal is to make money on Medium and you’re going out of your way to follow people and spend your time interacting with them, why do that for non-paying members?
This must be the 2021 version of your mom tying a pork chop around your neck so the family dog will play with you.
From his piece, One Unconventional Strategy to Earn More Money on Medium, It’s not clickbait — it’s unconventional. I had to look to see if it had been published in Muddyum or The Haven. Nope. I don’t know if Mr. Hubbard meant for this to be funny or informative. I think it’s both, frankly. Don’t be offended, K. B. It’s a good thing!
Gwen Irwin’s How I’m Coping With Views Plummeting From 21 to 18 Seemingly Overnight, I had me rolling just with the title alone! Her advice to new writers is one that I’ve seen writers perform constantly as it is — write, break, write some more. It’s the length of those breaks that’s the “problem”.
Rest assured, there will be ups and there will be downs when you are navigating the wild west of Medium. But if you have not experienced a high view count as I have yet, don’t despair. Keep plugging away, keep waiting for your muse to strike, and make sure you don’t burn yourself out! If need be, take a little time off — a year should be sufficient.
And when you do see that sweet, sweet two-digit number, it will all be worth it. Keep going — you owe it to yourself, and to your future fans!
She gives you a play-by-play of her climbing the Medium ladder of success beginning in 2016. Relax. It’s a four-minute read. You’ve got the time. Even if you don’t you’re going to want to make the time!
Alex Cooper is new to the Medium platform and has so far 168 followers. This needs to change. I had wondered if we were kin when I read his bio:
About Alex Cooper
Freelance writer and author of two books: Animal Killdom & The Mating Game. 50% funny, 50% informative, 50% bad at percentages.
Sounds like we’re related to me. I did “threaten” him with checking my Ancestry.com family tree for confirmation. But the smart@$$ery is uncanny. His Stop Telling Me I Can’t Make a Living on Medium is heaven-inspired.
As a single father of five probably hypothetical children, money is tight. My genius invention that was going to pull us out of poverty — Sneeze in a Bottle — couldn’t have hit the market at a worse time last year.
My hypothetical wife left me because, even in my imagination, I don’t deserve happiness.
And so, I came to this website after learning of the vast riches on offer. But now, when I browse my homepage, all I see is doom and gloom.
Yes, my beloveds. He’s poking the bear with a stick. Making fun of the Medium megastars?
Now here we are. We finally made it through the Oreo only to find ourselves right back where we started. Good ole K. B. What can I say? The dude has been on a roll here of late.
In How to Steal (and get away with it), Don’t tell anyone I told you this, (never mind he includes his “mugshot”, he once again makes fun of the giant wheel that makes Medium turn.
“What are we stealing? Ideas.
Three-step process to getting free ideas:
- Read other authors’ work. All of it, everywhere, all the time.
- Write down anything that sticks out to you.
- Transform it into your own idea.”
No, he’s not actually advocating for thievery, at least I hope not! When read in context you’ll see that there are two ways of “stealing” another writer's work. One is cool and one? Not cool, man. Not cool at all. If you want to know what the two are and the difference between them, then I suggest you check it out.
And there you have it. Just a bit of the funny stuff I’ve encountered of late. I hope you get a kick out of these writers as I have. And I hope you enjoyed this read!
For those who don’t know.
