Justifying My ‘Outrageous Comments’
I Rest My Case
I love a challenge, especially when it is one demanding that I provide justification for what I say. I know lots of people think I simply shoot from the hip, blurting out whatever crap I feel like to make me feel good, or in this case to off-load my pain, or to simply score points. Here is the story that caused all the fuss in the link below, along with a link to the story I was responding to
https://readmedium.com/why-women-are-turning-their-backs-on-men-750b84cf6444.
One of my detractors, Lorelei Weldon, commented…
“Not even remotely true. In fact, divorce is a leading cause of poverty in women. I agree with Women of Caliber, part of editing a publication ought to be some basic level of fact checking because this is all bollocks and lashing out with nothing whatsoever to back it up that remotely aligns with fact.
“Almost half of American families experience poverty following a divorce and 75 percent of all women who apply for welfare benefits do so because of a disrupted marriage or a disrupted relationship in which they live with a male outside of marriage.”
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220511-why-women-file-for-divorce-more-than-men
Women also tend to gain fewer emotional benefits from marriage, which could make single life seem more appealing. While married men experience multiple perks — including living longer and earning more money — women don’t usually benefit from their relationships in the same way. Instead, they bear the brunt of household and child-rearing labour, which can leave working women “overwhelmed and stressed”, says Fort-Martinez.
Besides women initiating 69% of divorces, men remarry much more often than women do. And fewer women are looking for relationships than men are.
About 38% of women are killed by current or former intimate partners; only about 6% of men are. The fact that you’ve had two bad marriages doesn’t indicate squat about the larger dynamic. Venting your pain and pretending it indicates anything about the world at large is pretty delusional. Try to at least stick to a few facts in the future. 🙄”
Ok, now it’s my turn. First off, in marriage;
More women going to jail for domestic abuse
At the same time, two Parliamentary questions — one addressed to the former Solicitor General Vera Baird and the other one to the former Prisons Minister Crispin Blunt — showed that the number of women convicted of perpetrating domestic abuse has more than quadrupled in the six years from 806 in 2004/05 to 3,965 in 2010/11.
The problem may in fact be more widespread than these figures suggest. The 2010/11 British Crime Survey (page 88) has revealed that twice as many male victims (28%) than female victims (13%) do not tell anyone about the domestic abuse they are suffering, highlighting the level of under-reporting. Furthermore, only 10% of male victims contact the police compared to 29% of female victims.
You might also want to check out The Abuse of Men in MarriageFocus on the Family.
Survey: Over 20 Million Have Been Falsely Accused of Abuse
WASHINGTON / December 17, 2020 — A recent national survey conducted by YouGov reveals 8% of Americans report being falsely accused of domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of abuse. The 2,407 survey respondents were representative of the U.S. adult population. The 8% figure represents 20.4 million adults.
In 62% of cases, the false accusers were reported to be females. Often, the false allegation was made in the context of a child custody dispute — 27% of cases.
In 2004, the Spanish government introduced a new law called ‘Violencia de Genero’ (Gender Violence) to protect vulnerable women. What actually followed was nothing less than scandalous.
Lots of women saw this as an opportunity to teach her husband or partner a lesson or to deny him access to his children. The system was so inundated with false accusations by women against innocent men that one High Court Judge was moved to publicly state in a newspaper that nine out of ten complaints were false and were clogging up the system and depriving real victims of resources. The Judge was duly reprimanded by the government for undermining the intent of the new law and was told to be quiet on this matter.
Moving on, what about that above claim the men live longer than women?
“Women tend to live longer than men around the world — but the sex gap in life expectancy is not a constant. Women tend to live longer than men. In 2021, this difference amounted to a 5-year gap in global life expectancy: the average life expectancy was 73.8 years for women versus 68.4 years for men.”
It is worth noting that statistically, married men AND women live longer than their single counterparts. However, divorced men have a higher rate of mortality than divorced women. This because during marriage it is the woman who maintains a network of supportive family and friends, who can be depended upon to provide much needed post divorce support.
After a divorce, men also suffer from the loss of contact with their children and a significant increase in stress and depression due to having to provide financial support to his estranged family AND at the same time having to fund finding and furnishing a new home for himself.
https://ourworldindata.org › why-do-women-live-longe…
Post Divorce
In 98 percent of cases women get custody of any children, regardless of the fact that the father may well be the better parent.
“Why do women alienate fathers?
In most cases, the purpose of the alienation is to gain custody of a child and exclude involvement by the father. In other cases the mother wants the father out of the way to start a new life, the mother wants more of the money and assets than she is entitled to and uses the children as pawns.”
Yes, some men commit Parental Alienation too, but nowhere near as much as women do, remember, only two percent of men get custody. Perhaps women who commit such an offence would get more help with the rearing if they actually allowed the man access to the children, instead of vindictively using the children they profess to love as weapons to hurt their ex partner.
“Who suffer most after divorce?
Research indicates life after divorce for men is more traumatic than it is for women, taking a more significant emotional toll as well as sparking physical deterioration. Women file for divorce 70% of the time, and when it’s a shock, with no time to prepare — that has a marked impact on how men handle divorce.”
“Does divorce ruin a man?
Studies show that divorced men have poorer health than married men, with many reporting higher rates of depression, mortality, substance use disorders, and a lack of social support. These factors can cause health challenges like high blood pressure or heart concerns. Mar 15, 2024”
Am I still talking a load of old bollocks Lorelei? Are all of those above independent sources also talking a load of old bollocks? Or is it not the case that you, and other women like you, are so entrenched in the feminist narrative that you cannot see the truth of the matter?
As for my bitterness, yes, at one time I was very bitter indeed. Who wouldn’t be after almost ten years of physical abuse which ended in hospitalisation. And when I tried to report those attacks to the police they simply laughed at me and ridiculed me. That is why men don’t bother reporting it.
Who wouldn’t be after fifteen years of being dragged through the courts with one false claim after another, declared innocent in every single one of the dozens of trials?
Who wouldn’t be after discovering a nasty little plot to get me sent to jail for a long time with malicious lies?
Who wouldn’t be after having all of his possessions stolen or destroyed?
Who wouldn’t be after having three healthy businesses ruined, costing many female employees to lose their much needed jobs, female employees who earned the same as male ones, and far more than I ever did as the owner of the businesses?
Who wouldn’t be after having his son kidnapped (in 2014) never to be seen again to this day?
Before the kidnapping, almost ten years of denial of access resulted in me having to pay to see my son for the periods set down by the divorce courts. Parental Alienation is so rampant that some enterprising women have set up a service called Meeting Point, a place which is full to bursting with other men who simply want to see their children and play an active part in their upbringing.
With legal costs, loss of earnings, loss of personal and professional property the cost is in the region of a quarter of a million euros, which I can never ever recover.
In summary, my ex-wife, like lots of other women, was the antagonist whilst at the same time she was playing the victim card. Some male judges fell for the crocodile tears, none of the female judges did. It takes a woman to know a woman.
I am totally broke, but in no way broken. I had the good fortune to meet an amazing woman, who knows nothing of the above as I did not want to infect her with my past. She earns more than I do, much more. And since I have nothing left, I know for a fact she is not after my none existent money. So I guess it must be love.
Am I bitter still? Nope, though it is inevitable that there are vestiges of bitterness. However, I did reach the point where I had to accept that it is what it is and move on. There are also vestiges of effects on my health. A heart attack, a mini stroke, etc etc. Thankfully I have made a full recovery and enjoy a very peaceful life well away from all of the drama.
Is my woeful story above an isolated one? I really wish it was. Sadly I have come across so many stories similar to mine that I am of the mind that it is a dynamic that is all too common and the cause of a great many men doing what I did for fifteen years, run away from the source of all of that unjust pain.
Finally, I am not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I just saw that other story and wanted to offer the male perspective for balance. It is astonishing how there is such a plethora of anti male (misandry, I believe it is called) stories, with embittered women lashing out at men left right and centre, and yet a lone voice like mine that attempts to get his point of view across is shotdown in flames by outraged, indignant women, because it does not go with the preferred feminist narrative.
I’ll leave you with this little nugget. Many years ago a certain arch feminist, Germaine Greer, stated “Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.” In your own words, “What a load of old bollocks.”
Men do not hate women per se any more than women hate men per se. And yet some people are still pedalling that old chestnut. The fact of the matter is that like it or not, we want and need each other to the same degree. We all have different strengths and weaknesses to bring to this party of life, let’s not forget it.
I would say that my personal experience is in point of fact indictative of a more widespread dynamic. Though I daresay you will remain intransigent and try to find some other fault in my reasoning. Have a nice day huh.