Just Like in Games: Don’t Discard an Activity Without Testing It

You might agree that you need to play a game or actually work on a project or carry out an activity to enjoy it. But what about those goals or suggestions that you didn’t come up with, which were recommended by others?

The same rule applies here. You won’t know if that game (project or activity) is for you unless you test it. Don’t just assume based on your own or someone else’s prejudices.

However, don’t judge yourself for judging either. We all often compare what we hear to what we know and label it either as true or false. The nods and the shakes of our heads when we listen to someone show this clearly.

Ariel & Shya Kane unveiled a new possibility here. They say that there is another possibility of listening. And they call it “True Listening.” Here is what they say:

“True Listening is actively listening to another with the intention of hearing what is being said from the other’s point of view.”

and,

“This act of listening is enough to pull you into the moment. However, you have an incredibly facile mind. You can race ahead in your thoughts and finish another person’s sentence before he or she gets to the point. Or you can take exception to a word he or she uses and stop listening altogether. If you pay attention, you will see that there are many times when you have an internal commentary on what is being said rather than just listening. If you can train yourself to hear what is being said, from the speaker’s point of view, it takes you outside of time and into the current moment.”

— Ariel and Shya Kane, Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work: The 3 Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Life

Thus, truly listen, without judgment. You might discover something entirely new and fresh even in the things that have been said to you before.

And trust your gut and “inner vision.” If a suggestion comes and looms in your head (possibly through resistance to an outside influence — boss, partner, friend — or your thought processes) but curiosity draws you to it over and over again, wondering how it would be to give it a try, then go ahead and give it a try. One, two, five, or more minutes a day, but do it.

That happened to me with my book Self-Gamification Happiness Formula.

I used to think a lot about crowdfunding. I heard about its advantages and drawbacks, and I found myself checking crowdfunding projects for books more and more. I backed some of them and purchased the products of campaigns that had already ended. I wanted to try this process for my books but was afraid of the reportedly enormous effort involved.

So I went to a crowdfunding event, downloaded many book samples about crowdfunding, and started reading them, but I still resisted giving it a try. At some point, the wish grew so big that I decided to turn this project into a game.

First, I chose to make a game out of the campaign’s planning and preparation stage. I read about the platforms featuring book crowdfunding projects and selected one that resonated the most. As to the book project, I chose the book about Self-Gamification for various reasons.

One was that book crowdfunding campaigns can be useful in helping to identify the content readers would like to see included. And at that time, I wasn’t sure how to structure the book, or precisely what the content and style should be.

The preparation for the crowdfunding campaign was a fun game, in which I made progress step-by-step, all in the spirit of Self-Gamification. I sent the material to my editor for polishing, designed the preliminary cover for the book, and made a video to present the project.

And then I stopped. There was nothing left to do. It was time to launch the campaign. My resistance, rooted in the fear of what the campaign would or wouldn’t bring, led me to more polishing of the content, preparation of post-launch material (which was cut, reworked, and discarded many times), and, most of all, day-dreaming of how the launch would turn out.

No, I wasn’t in the game anymore. I wasn’t enjoying the process of my project game. Instead, I was thinking about it.

Noticing that without judging it was again the saving grace.

I asked myself, “It is a game. So, what’s next?”

The answer was simple. If it was a game, then I just needed to start playing it. I read the rules; now it was time to test playing it. So, I went to the dashboard of the crowdfunding platform I had chosen and decided to set a starting date for the campaign.

I still feared that I wasn’t ready enough, but I wanted to commit to a particular day. Yes, I thought, I should set a starting date for my game of the first of the next month.

But, as often happens in life — and life loves playing games with us — I couldn’t set a date to start the crowdfunding game in the future. There wasn’t a button “Launch the campaign on March 1st, 2018.” There was just the button “Launch.” I looked at it and thought, I could make a note in my calendar to press that button on March 1st.

But I wanted to have fun then, in that moment. I wanted badly to play the game.

So I pressed the “Launch” button and immediately had ideas for the next steps, and became active and excited.

I didn’t reach the goal of that crowdfunding campaign and discovered that the crowdfunding “game” was not for me. At least at that time and to the present day. But the experience described above remained clear and valuable in my memories.

I realized that whatever the outcome of our games — and we often play games to have fun and without fear of losing, if they are considered as leisure — we make the “effort” to take those steps and to become better at the game, without drama.

So seeing a task or a project we are up to — either one we initiated or an assignment from someone else — as a game can help us to take the drama out of our lives and make the whole process exciting and fun.

The fear shrinks in games. It’s just a game after all. The drama and resistance to trying something others have recommended or assigned to us reduces considerably, and we can try out many new things without resenting the fact that we didn’t come up with those ideas in the first place.

Related stories:

Thank you for reading this article! I hope you enjoyed it.

Note: It is a modified excerpt from Self-Gamification Happiness Formula: How to Turn Your Life into Fun Games.

P.S. To stay in touch, join my e-mail list, Optimist Writer.

About the author:

Victoria is a writer, instructor, and consultant with a background in semiconductor physics, electronic engineering (with a Ph.D.), information technology, and business development. While being a non-gamer, Victoria came up with the term Self-Gamification, a gameful and playful self-help approach bringing anthropology, kaizen, and gamification-based methods together to increase the quality of life. She approaches all areas of her life this way. Due to the fun she has, while turning everything in her life into games, she intends never to stop designing and playing them.