Just Getting Started: Getting Over the Fear Of Failure

What if it doesn’t work out? Well… who cares

So, you have a great idea. Maybe it’s an idea for a website. Maybe you have a really good idea for the next great dating app. Maybe you want to start a blog (*cough cough*). Whatever it is, more often than not, it’s probably not a terrible idea.

Now, I’m not saying that your desire to be a professional volcano photographer that thinks skydiving into lava isn’t a questionable idea. I’m saying that if you have an idea that truly scares you a little bit to pursue, it might be worth looking into. The reason for that is keying in on your fear of failure.

fear (verb.) — be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.

Facing Our Fears

When we fear something, we’re uncomfortable. We’re facing a fight or flight instinct that our bodies evolutionarily put into place to protect us. Now… who are we to challenge that. Well, if you’re unlucky enough to be like me and have seasonal allergies, I think you’ll agree when I say that we are. The same goes for my friends with glasses that would have a tough time running from a primal predator without their glasses. Let alone, seeing them in the first place. Sidebar aside, we have a lot going on instinctually that is an overreaction to the more minor problems that we face today.

Ok, so now you’re thinking, “Well great, I’m neurally over tuned and terrified anytime that I have an ok idea.” That’s a perfectly reasonable response. Let’s take that thought a little further though. What’s the worst thing that could happen? I don’t want us to spiral here. Just to think more reasonably. If I put out this blog post and no one reads it, life moves on. I can learn from the experience. I can leave it there and realize that I’m either a terrible writer or that starting a blog may take more work than just one post. Either way, that initial fear I had was just an overstimulation of discomfort that warned me that I was in unfamiliar territory.

What we need to realize is that’s not a bad thing! We can work with that physiological pathing that we’ve developed over thousands of years and alter it. We’re not running from lions, we’re thinking about starting a new hobby, starting a business, or talking to a crush! The first crack at our idea may not go the best. You just started! You’re not going to immediately be the greatest at whatever you want to do. Maybe I never write another blog post (not the hope!). Maybe this becomes a regular thing for me. What’s important is that I decided to fight my fear and potentially do something new. I think that you should do the same.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” — Lao Tzu

So What Now? Become a doer

Ok, this isn’t a call to arms for you to become the most motivated person on the face of the planet. I do hope that you’ll take more chances on the things that will make you happy to do. I’ll tell you what goes through my head when I’m interested in something and maybe it’ll help you too! I’ll drop the list of steps and then talk it through a little.

1. Daydream about the idea
2. Think it over for a week, probably longer (No more than a month!)
3. Set a deadline!
4. Write out what you want to do. Like actually write it down…
5. Take small steps toward the goal
6. Reevaluate!

When you’re starting to do anything it can be incredibly daunting to figure out where to start. Embrace that, let your mind wander. Keep it fun. Overthinking it and turning it into work is a quick way to make it stressful and then stop doing it.

After you decide that you’re going to become the next world-famous DJ let’s pull it back real fast. Think about what you may need to get started. Take your time too, you don’t want to rush into it. If you want to drive this idea and a couple of weeks have passed it’s probably something that you’ll dedicate some time to. In a similar vein. Set a deadline. In the next week, I want to learn about DJ software. In the next month, I want to attend a DJ set. Notice that the first two things that I mentioned there don’t involve you having to pick up a set of turntables yourself. Gently lead yourself in the direction of your goal and don’t let forever go by without accomplishing anything.

Now you have all of these thoughts and a couple of deadlines. WRITE THEM DOWN! There are a ton of studies that have been done on writing down goals and the effects that it has on actually completing them. I’ll drop a good article on it below!

With our goals written down. We can define small steps that we can take to achieve them. It’s way easier for us to say I’ll listen to one new song a day rather than I’m going to record an original setlist of my music. With the first, you’re setting yourself up for easy success. It’s a specific and measurable goal. Those are what we need. Easy wins!

Finally. Reevaluate. Maybe it’s one, two, maybe six months since you had your original idea. You’ve thought about what you want, and how you can get there, and have taken some steps on that journey. What do we do next? Learn more? Realize this wasn’t for me? Maybe it didn’t go so well. Maybe it was great and you’re thriving with your new endeavor. Either way, you can take what you’ve learned and reapply it to your current situation and make new goals. We can also take the lessons that we’ve learned and apply them to the next idea that we may have. Either way, we’ve faced our fear of failure and taken back a little control. That in itself is something to be proud of.

Closing Thoughts

I chose this as my first *solo* blog post for a reason. A lot of what I talked about briefly here I felt while writing this. I am terrified of failure. Something that I’m glad that I’ve started doing in my life is embracing fear. While not all of my attempts at attacking my fears of failure have succeeded. What they did do was help me for the next time I had to face that same fear of something else. A hobby, a career choice, flirting with someone at the bar, or even just making a new friend.

I hope that resonated and that this was helpful! I hope that you look at your fear of failure as an opportunity rather than something to be avoided.

• I was asked to submit a Medium post for work a little after I drafted this out (coming soon!)😅

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Here’s another article from me! Check it out!