Learnings From Indian Matchmaking — Netflix Series Worth Binge-Watching

Journaling Challenge — Day 3

So first of all, I rarely browse through Netflix nowadays. The last time I did, I ended up watching Fifty Shades of Grey that was a bad choice and experience. But at least I got to write about it.

But yesterday early evening, I stumbled upon Netflix and seen something quite unusual there that grabbed my attention.

It’s a new Netflix series called Indian Matchmaking.

Which basically is a reality-like-show about Indian custom of arranged marriages that works through the centuries up until this point. And how this happens today — given by real-life stories of our main protagonists — young boys and girls and their families keen to get them married — as soon as possible.

I’d not have expected that Indian Matchmaking would have anything fruitful to teach me other than just entertain me, but man, there was a hell lot.

The show is facilitated by a woman in (what I suppose is) her late 50s who’s a matchmaker by a profession — called Sima, from Mumbai. That’s how she always introduces herself to any new customer. Most of the matchmaking for arranged marriages happens either in India or elsewhere in the world where Indians migrate and want to sustain the tradition of marrying their kind. The show, however, focuses mainly on India and the US.

Now, for a person who’s passionate about India all in — the diverse country, traditions, and customs, culture — music, drama, dance, food, colors, spiritual practices, even people, (I dated Indians and have Indian friends too) — it was way too tempting not to view one episode!

Only that after seeing it for 10 minutes, I was sold. Everything I’ve seen was so captivating that this series became my food for the evening till early morning hours.

That is, 5 hours of Netflix until I finished the whole series. By the way, I rarely do this now. The last time I binge-watched a movie or series was 2 years back.

Why we resonate with something

There’s always a reason why we resonate deeply with something.

This got me wondering — what was it really that kept me on for so long?

Even more, what was it that attracted me to watch it? Straight after I’ve done my manifestation work, dreamt about what I wanted, and written about it, I stumble upon a random Netflix series that easily takes 5 hours of my time?

I thought this has to mean something. Especially as I am in the groove. In the vortex. Or just entering the vortex actually. And indeed,

This series had something brutally important to teach me about love life. And that’s why I got attracted to it! Because I asked for it just a few hours back.

When I was creating a new concept for my future.

What I’ve learned from the Indian Matchmaking

Some of which came really surprising like this one…

The concept of love

I’d not expect in a dream that Indian Matchmaking series would have anything to teach me about love. Well, greet the surprise!

The most shocking thing that came to me was that it provided me with a completely new perspective and understanding of the concept of love.

The love that constitutes much more than what is our Western understanding about love nowadays. This concept of love I associate with much more in fact. As the love that’s about caring, respect, understanding, acceptance, nurturing, and growing together through life — more than just love as a pure emotion!

And that’s a truly meaningful way of seeing love and relationships. More meaningful than seeing love just as ‘love’. That can happen anytime, anywhere, between anybody and regardless of how suitable the two actually are for each other.

And, would you expect or believe that despite arranged marriages, Indians are actually pretty romantic and do believe in love? Love and happy marriages? They sure do! And this concept takes love to another level….

The compatibility of the couple

The way these arranged marriages are planned is a sophisticated process that involves much more than just two families getting together and deciding the future of their offsprings.

First, there’s this ‘resume like’ profiles sharing called the ‘biodata’ that the families exchange between each other to learn more about potential partners which include the dates of birth, family background, the place of residence, education, work, skills, interest, and preferences of the individual. And there’s much more than that!

There’s actual astrology as well as numerology compatibility charts and other criteria checked to make sure that the two people that are there to spend a lifetime together are actually matching, click and agree to get together.

Not that I’ve never heard about it before, but seeing how this all moves along is a different thing than hearing it a thousand times.

I got to see how people go on actual dates together based on all these criteria — and man — they often do click! Which one as an observer can feel through the screens and that I found quite mesmerizing.

I immediately thought that rather than having to go through the Western way of dating which is often painful, frustrating, and confusing, this would actually be an enhancement saving headaches for most of us!

See, from my tradition of dating, I used to be with people who were simply not compatible with me and who were either causing me pain or the pain and suffering was mutual and long-term reciprocated.

But I’d have tried my best to make it work anyway. Why? Because of the bloody love concept! Because I took love to another level — way beyond respect, mutual understanding and appreciation, my self-care, and standards.

I wanted to prove the stars wrong. Only that the stars kicked my ass back everytime!

Being with the right person

This show reminded me of the importance of being with a person who actually understands and respects us. Our taste, values, our vision and life direction, our desires, expectations (although they should be reasonable), personality, and quirks.

And how important it is that there’s an easiness — easy communication, understanding, laughter, and eagerness spend quality time together.

Maybe this all sounds elementary to you but with my history of bad romance, I kind of forgot what healthy and natural connection feels like — until I’ve seen it right in front of my eyes.

Looking at these young folks experimenting with meeting and dating various new people (based on criteria that shall predict a match), having hopes for a life partner in them, and then either clicking or no taught me a lot.

It taught me that there’s surely a good as well as bad fit and it’s quite easy to distinguish the two. Just like distinguishing true joy from the suffering.

It reminded me that when things work, they work. There’s no drama, no super effors to be made and no extra need to explain yourself. Things just flow as if it was written in the stars!

And that it makes sense to have ideals about our life partner and the more specific we are about the characteristics we want to see in them, the more prone the universe is to respond and give us that what we want.

Even this is an aspect that can be worked on and manifested — all starting with believing that such a person who matches us, who’d love us and who we can love fully exists — is there somewhere and it’s just a question of our patience, willingness, and determination to meet them.

Rather than thinking that the older we get — the more our pool of options empties and we’re left with the remaining fish to force ourselves to choose out of pure desperation.

This series in its 5 hours taught me more about love and relationships than years or reading books on them. And it serves me as an inspiration now.

So cheers to all of us for the most suitable matches and the most beautiful relationships we can have. Everything is possible. It’s all out there. And it’s only a question of when we meet our true match made in heaven.

Now, I am writing this as a public journal and it’s only my day 3 of this journaling challenge. I already see starting this is taking me on a journey. I wonder where this all takes me in the next 12 days?

But I am looking forward to the ride!