MINDSET

Why It’s Important to Have Dreams, Even if They Don’t Come True

Creating an idealized vision of your life brings both risk and reward

To achieve your dreams, you must embrace adversity and make failure a regular part of your life. If you’re not failing, you’re probably not really moving forward. — John C. Maxwell

Most of us believe having something to look forward to — and be excited about — is a necessary component in providing the mental and emotional assurance that we’re working toward a better “someday.”

But what happens when those dreams fail to materialize? Was the time wasted?

Not really. There’s something intrinsically stimulating about imagining how wonderful our future realities will be based on our own needs, wants, and desires. The process is a reflection of what we think is still missing in our lives — those aspects we hope one day will come true.

On the plus side, being aware that we have the ability to envision better circumstances is the sign of an optimistic mindset. Because those dreams represent the confidence we have in ourselves to move toward a positive, more fulfilling existence.

But what happens when our dreams don’t pan out?

Yes, the inevitable disappointment of unfulfilled wishes will occur, despite your best and most promising efforts.

An article by author and mentor Judith Johnson offers this perspective: “Just because we want something doesn’t mean it will show up in our life. The key to handling this effectively is to acknowledge and accept your disappointment, and to find appreciation for other things that are present in your life.”

What’s important to remember is while we’re mentally constructing our soon-to-be improved selves, we need to remain conscious of being present in our current day-to-day activities. Because if we’re being honest, the present moment is where we reside every single day — and there’s a lot of living to do between the daydream sessions.

While our dreams and goals are the impetus pulling us forward, the key is to recognize and enjoy the here-and-now. Because that scripted future may never arrive — or turn out to be exactly what you had hoped for.

And sometimes, that’s the best possible scenario.

A piece published on Aspire Counseling offers this bit of guidance: “The good news is that things do get better. People do find peace with those curveballs and find meaning in other areas of their life. It’s possible to find a new dream, set new goals and begin moving forward again.”

Here’s a personal story.

Several years ago, my husband and I decided we were ready for a change of location and began talking about where we would live next.

We started by making a list of the Top 10 criteria we would evaluate in our search. Among those “must have” priorities were decent weather, a short commute to an airport, easy access to everyday necessities like grocery stores, a post office, restaurants, recreational options, and, of course, affordable housing.

Every place we considered resulted in a zealous examination based on that list.

When we’d finally narrowed the choices to three potential possibilities, we took exploratory trips to get a feel for the landscape, so to speak.

The problem?

Unfortunately, our short visits turned out to be mere glimpses of an overall larger picture, and didn’t really provide us with the perspective we’d hoped for.

If the weather was bad for a day or two, or the roads were overly congested from construction, or we were in a bad mood from traveling all day, we became concerned we might have lost our objectivity in our initial impression of the new place — even to the point of considering the information we’d gathered was inaccurate.

We eventually realized that unless we took the leap and actually committed to living in one of those potential ideal locations, we wouldn’t have a realistic representation as to how the place would match our personal expectations in the long-term.

Because, just like every decision we make in life, there would be pros and cons to deal with.

And that’s where compromise and adjustments in priority come into the picture — including incorporating any necessary modifications of our idealized version of a perfect future.

So how do we overcome disappointment when reality makes an unwelcome appearance?

Here are a few suggestions for getting over the hump:

• Realize your dreams are of your own making, and the world may not always conform to your personal vision. By remaining objective about the differences between your perspective and the reality at hand, you’ll become better prepared to evaluate other aspects you may not have considered.
• If your displeasure is valid and you were working with inaccurate or misrepresented information, learn from the lesson and move on. Trying to change stripes into polka dots to soothe your ego or make a point rarely results in a pleasing pattern.
• Give yourself credit for having the courage to pursue different directions in your pursuit of personal improvement. Unless you experience the disappointing with the rewarding, you may not be able to recognize how much progress you’re making. And along the way, you might find you’ve redirected your focus and efforts down a completely different path — and toward a new dream.

Did we make the move?

Despite our natural tendency to over-analyze everything, we decided to take a leap of faith and move from a hot, dry desert city to a tropical state. Yes, it took some time to get adjusted and, for the most part, the high points on our list were easily met.

The big surprise was discovering how many “priorities” were no longer important or relevant. Because our new home town offered so much more than we had expected — or had even imagined.

In fact, I’m in the process of redesigning my future dream life.

By incorporating many of the advantages I’m currently enjoying and adding a few twists for good measure, my future looks pretty interesting indeed.

Because you never know what’s waiting out there — unless you’re willing to take a few risks and change your mind from time to time.

© 2021 Jill Reid. All Rights Reserved.

Jill Reid is the author of Real Life, Discover Your Personal Truth, Life in Small Doses, and Please God, Make Me A Writer. Her books, videos, and newsletter explore life, relationships, self-improvement, health, and personal success strategies for working through the challenges of everyday life.

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