4 Reasons to Put on a Happy Face When it’s Not About You

How to maintain a positive attitude in any situation.

Someone else gets the promotion, buys the new house, takes the dream vacation, or marries the perfect person. They’re excited, exuberant, bursting with joy. They’re happy.

And they want to share it with you.

Most of the time, you’re glad for those who achieve a long-awaited dream, and it’s easy to join in their personal celebration. But occasionally, other emotions pop up and muddy the waters — like jealousy, resentment, and even bitterness.

This uncomfortable mindset occurs when we’re not in alignment with others’ choices, achievements, or progress. And occasionally, we experience these feelings when there’s an unspoken sense of competition.

That’s when our own priorities and insecurities rise to the surface.

And it can be a challenge to hide our sentiments — or misplaced envy.

So how can we be authentically supportive of the successes and accomplishments of others?

Unless your general attitude is of a positive nature, it may be best to keep your thoughts to yourself. Speaking our minds isn’t always the best reaction — especially when a personal opinion may not be relevant or invited. And most of the time, chiming in with a potentially negative slant on the situation isn’t welcome or necessary —particularly when the issue has nothing to do with you.

Because sometimes people just want to gush.

Here are a few suggestions to become both genuine and supportive when life’s positive circumstances happen to others:

1. Squelch the urge to downplay or belittle the accomplishments of others.

If your natural instinct is to dismiss the achievements others have attained as unimportant or minor, it’s possible your response may reveal more than a bruised ego. This kind of reaction often reflects a lack of ability to recognize other’s progress and goals.

Resist the urge to offer any negative or derogatory opinion. For example, making an off-hand remark that your co-worker, Karen, didn’t deserve her last promotion may soothe your pride, but it could also scuttle your future career advancement. Attitude is a sign of maturity, so keep your thoughts to yourself and refrain from trashing a co-worker — even to a trusted confidant.

Because the downside is real: The moment a negative judgment leaves your lips, it’s out there — a loose missile no longer under your control . And you never know when it’s going to circle back like a boomerang.

2. What if you’re specifically asked what you think?

If you’re not in agreement with the issue or circumstance, the better option is to remain neutral. At the very least, if you value the relationship, try reinforcing some aspect of the achievement you think is important: “Yes, Karen has been with the company for a long time, and she’s well thought of in her job.”

3. A “sour grapes” attitude lowers other’s opinion of you.

Showing your support for the accomplishments of another person sends an extremely powerful message — that you care about them, and they provide a source of encouragement and inspiration. More important, your behavior also suggests you’re working with others, rather than against or in competition with them.

Those who experience repeated success tend to remember — and help — the ones who cheered them on the way up. And we all need a friendly and encouraging support system in our personal pursuits.

4. Yes, sometimes it’s just luck.

But there’s usually more to it. Luck — or whatever you choose to call that mysterious force aligning all the circumstances, timing, and opportunity afforded to some but not others — is often thought responsible for dubious or even unearned accolades.

Conversely, seldom is a major achievement entirely the result of pure luck. Even lottery winners have to buy a ticket. Being “lucky” is often the outcome from preparation, diligence, and determination — bringing those attributes together in the right place and time.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” — Seneca

Other people’s journeys are not ours to plan.

Spoiler alert: It’s not up to you to determine if the choices or direction others take is right or great or perfect for them.

If someone is sharing their good news with you, let them spill without comment or debate as to its merits. Give them time, space, and your self-less attention — and demonstrate your willingness to be a respectful, patient, and caring person.

And if you’re asked for an opinion? That’s your opportunity to express congratulations for the accomplishments of others — even though they may not be right for you.

© 2020 Jill Reid. All Rights Reserved.

Jill Reid is the author of Real Life and Discover Your Personal Truth.

Jill Reid is the founder of Pathway to Personal Growth and author of Real Life and Discover Your Personal Truth. Her books and articles explore life, happiness, relationships, health, and personal success strategies.